Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Gotham City Digest

(Where we promise to never buy borscht from the Trump Grille.)

     I almost hate to say it but I'm with Trump on this. I'd rather have the infrastructure rebuilt and we'll take our chances at the polls. Still, it's comical that Trump's not calling the Republicans on scuttling Infrastructure Week every time the White House tries to hold it while he's always screaming about Democratic obstruction.

     Stay in the center? Oh, STFU, Pelosi. A militant insistence on centrism is what got us that asshole in the WH, to begin with.

     "The Trump Presidency has been a great wrecker of reputations. In his short time in politics, Trump has managed to shred the careers, professional integrity, and dignity of many of those who worked for him." -The New Yorker

      Last Friday, for the second day in a row, Republican scum in Florida ignored the vox populi and passed a new Jim Crow bill to roll back minority voting rights.

     One thing that's always perplexed me was why Mueller was so gunshy about Trump's obvious violations of campaign finance laws. Apparently, I'm not the only one.

     This is the fucking moron running the free world. Note that he's siding with the cheating party.

     You'd think by now he'd know how to spell "Kentucky" correctly.

     I guess it took Trump longer to debrief his boss than expected.

     Sometimes, Guinness blows it.

     "The United States will not tolerate foreign military interference in the Western Hemisphere"? Mr. Bolton, were you vaccinated against irony when you were a child?

     Just give me 5 minutes alone in a room with these animal-abusing assholes and Negan's bat, Lucille.

     "Trump’s spiritual adviser & personal pastor Paul White-Cain took the podium and declared the White House to be 'holy ground' & warned any demons not loyal to the Trump administration to stay away."
      So, they want demons to be loyal to Trump?
     P.S. It didn't work, since the White House is still infested with Republicans.

     Hey, Stable Genius, I think you meant to write "Stalin" instead of "stollen", since he's your biggest hero after Putin, anyway.

     Often, rich white people make the worst philanthropists. At this point, one must automatically ask how many shelters and job placement programs would $30,000,000 fund? I guess they have to do a multimillion dollar, multiyear feasibility study on whether or not roofs and walls are necessary to the homeless.

     So, let me get this straight- Not only was half of Scotland Yard called out for this bullshit but the assholes who called in the complaints were more concerned about two ducks than the homeless man caring for them?
      We are truly doomed as a species, aren't we?

     Gulf of Tonkin 2.0, Iran edition.

     Florida Man: The World's Worst Superhero.

      It could also be said Carolyn Meadows won her election as president of the NRA because she's a racist Caucasian right wing nut job.
      Bonus fact: Lucy McBath is my father's Congresswoman. My father's also a racist.

     DELIVERANCE took place in a small Georgia town just like this.
      Btw, this is the racist asshole Councilman who defended the mayor of a small Georgia town after she'd repeatedly admitted to not hiring a qualified African American applicant for a job because of his race. As the father of two biracial sons myself, not only do I find this incredibly offensive, I'm also stunned that there are still people in this country who actually think like this. Maybe that's my white privilege showing but I still can't bring myself to wholeheartedly believe that even in Georgia, one of the most racist states in the union, attitudes like this haven't evolved one bit since the 18th century.

     If this isn't the epitome of self-loathing, I don't know what is. “Why are we just apprehending them and not lining them up and shooting them? We have to go back to Hitler days and put them all in a gas chamber.”
      This was said by a "Border militia member", aka terrorist named Armando Gonzalez who, if the government had taken his initiative and done this to his emigrating ancestors, would immediately cease to exist.

     "Quietly retired"?! Why isn't this racist asshole in prison for trying to kill a child?

     "Husband kills wife, them himself in what family calls 'mercy shooting.'" Because "socialized" medicine would be such a tragic alternative.

     Five months ago, a white Michgan cop pepper-sprayed then beat the shit out of a 13 year-old black boy with mental problems. The department fired him but the DA's office decided they didn't have grounds to charge him with a lawsuit despite the body cam footage. One more time- Murder and assault and battery aren't crimes as long as you have a badge and help the DA's office up its conviction rate, ergo helping the DA with their political ambitions.

     Former Giuliani Assistant says Prosecutor Giuliani would've absolutely had Trump indicted by a grand jury.

     Trump's spinmeisters are trying to brand Trump as a "Civil War Buff" and not a racist white nationalist despite him knowing not a fucking thing about history, let alone the Civil War.

     Like Nixon with Calley, Trump just pardoned a murderer and war criminal. Of course he did, that piece of shit.

     Texas would have you believe that Sandra Bland drove all the way down from IL to TX to start a new job just to hang herself over a turn signal violation. The cops suppressed Sandra Bland's cell phone video at the time of her arrest for 4 years. Now we know why.

     Mike "Pompous Maximus" Pompeo thinking it's good we're losing Arctic sea ice is like someone who's happy about bleeding to death because of all the weight they're losing.

     Seems to me the only person in Georgia who doesn't have a heartbeat is Brian fucking Kemp.

     Don McGahn doesn't work for the White House, anymore. And he didn't listen to Trump even when he did work there. So they can tell him to ignore the Congressional subpoena all they want. Ain't gonna happen.

     America may run on Dunkin's but apparently Westeros runs on Starbucks.

     OK, seriously, I think we've taken this free speech thing in the First Amendment a little too far.

     Yes, That's Dick Pic Eric Bolling telling people at the White House today to Be Best. The entire White House is a giant dick pic drawn on the face of America. This was today at Melania Trump's first anniversary celebration of the Be Best initiative that her husband obviously holds in contempt. Your morbidly obese husband chided children for being overweight during his first White House Halloween. Fuck you and your #BeBest bullshit, Melania.

     This is mindblowing, that these Russian losers actually used Bernie as a mere wedge to cleave the Democratic vote.

     I don't usually feel sorry for billionaires but this sucks. Imagine losing $20,000,000 because of bad AI?

     "Case closed" on the Mueller investigation? Yeah, you wish, Senator Turtle. It's just fucking starting. God, these Republican scum aren't even trying to hide their party's staggering corruption, any more. And finally...

     It's time to lock up Mnuchin. Now.

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