The Brooks Brothers Rebellion Redux

(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari)

 "Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?" - Henry II of Thomas a' Becket

Right about now, Intel Committee Chairman and impeachment inquiry head Adam Schiff could be asking himself much the same question of House Republicans who stormed the SCIF hearing room to disturb Laura Cooper's testimony before it had even begun. Considering how efficacious it proved to be for Henry II, Schiff might ask aloud within earshot of the Sergeant at Arms much the same question of Republicans.

     It was a ridiculous and silly reprise of the Brooks Brothers riot of 2000 that actually derailed the Florida recount when George W. Bush stole the Florida vote hence the presidency like a diabetic thug stealing candy from a baby. That Brooks Brothers "riot", a sometimes-violent incident, was the brainchild of Bush thug Brad Blakeman and helped along by Tom DeLay, the future felon and Dancing With the Stars Lollipop Guild munchkin.

     I suppose we're supposed to ignore the fact this rebellion took place the day after Bill Taylor's gasp-inducing testimony yesterday as well as it being the day of Nancy Pelosi's brother's wake and funeral when she'd be obviously out of town. Be that as it may, roughly two dozen "lawmakers" turned law-breakers somehow were able to storm the supposedly secure hearing room through three different doors. When they did so, according to CNN, Laura Cooper immediately left. ABC's Ben Siegel reported on Twitter that, unsurprisingly, among the GOP congressmen "screaming" was Louie Gohmert.

     Then, realizing they'd fucked up and entered a secure SCIF with unsecured cell phones with which they were tweeting furiously then proceeded to throw their staffers under the bus by claiming that they, not the madmen in Brooks Brothers suits waving their unsecured cell phones all over the place, were the ones sending out the tweets from OUTSIDE the SCIF. All your favorite wingnuts were there: Gaetz was there, Jordan was there, Scalise was there, Gohmert was there screaming his bald head off, even Steve King was there (even though he was wheeled in on a dolly with a mask over his face à la Hannibal Lecter so he couldn't get near a microphone).

     So, let's summarize what just happened in the land of the free, home of the brave, ladies and germs: The Republican Party is now guilty of physically obstructing justice. They should've been, but had not been, arrested on the spot as with any unlawful protester and should, at the very least, have ethics censures and sanctions placed on them as well as having any future security clearances denied. They should be arrested and tried for attempted espionage, contempt of Congress, breaching their own security protocols for SCIFs that were put in place during the 115th Congress by their own party.

     But fear not, kiddies.

Weird Scenes Inside the SCIF

I'm sure no one was monitoring their unsecured devices.

     Some of the questions we need to be asking ourselves is not why Republicans were doing this. We already know why. Even though they claim they want the investigation process to be more transparent (unlike, say, Trey Gowdy's Benghazi hearings), the Republicans valiantly throwing their corpulent bodies on the train tracks is because they're justifiably spooked by the bombshell revelations that Schiff and the Democrats have been eliciting from a seemingly endless parade of witnesses on a daily basis. It was a naked publicity stunt complete with pizzas for the press (all cheese, of course, complete with a Mo- "Moe, Larry, cheese!") and by storming the hearing room, they delayed the inevitable: Laura Cooper's testimony.

     No, the questions we the people ought to be asking ourselves and our elected officials, especially the Democrats, is why appoint a hearing room as a SCIF if the Capitol Police and Sergeant at Arms can't even expedite the simple task of locking the doors? 81 year-old Jane Fonda was arrested just last week for lawful protesting in broad daylight. Why were these pizza-munching freedom fighting Republicans not arrested on the spot considering the hearing room is in the basement just down the hall from the jail cells?

     Why are even the mild, punitive measures of ethics complaints still just a "possibility"? And what were Republicans so scared of from Laura Cooper, an Assistant Deputy Secretary of Defense for Ukraine and Russia? Yesterday, we'd heard from Bill Taylor's diplomatic perspective of what he'd gleaned from Ukraine regarding the quid pro quo between Trump and Zelensky (Taylor had even drawn an unbroken line between the two men, stating the military aid to Ukraine was held up by Trump and not just the White House). And what the fuck is Paul Irving, the Sergeant at Arms, supposed to do about this vague letter from the House Homeland Security chairman?

     Ms. Cooper's testimony would been from the perspective of a Defense Department official and perhaps the ringleaders in today's assclown stampede (the usual suspects: Matt Gaetz (R-DUI) and Jim Jordan (R-Who the fuck stole my suit jacket again?!) somehow knew or suspected in advance what Ms. Cooper was about to divulge to the pertinent committees. As a Defense Department official whose portfolio made her a specialist in defense matters related to Ukraine and Russia, Ms. Cooper certainly would have been ideally positioned to know additional or corroborating details about the hold up of the military aid to Ukraine.

     The Republican flop sweat is hanging in the air like dew on a summer Georgia morning. And speaking of Georgia, witness the delightful screaming of Buddy Carter who said that if we're not careful, we average Americans, 99.999% of whom do not work for the federal government, could also be impeached.

       Like the old saying goes, people, elect a clown, expect a circus.