The Gettysburg Address 2.0

     

     Yes, he literally phoned it in.

     The ongoing DSM-V sideshow that is the Trump campaign legal team's spitball flinging reached a new low today. Mayor Rudy had called for a Pennsylvania Senate "hearing" that really wasn't a Senate hearing despite OAN's chyron that was comprised of a bunch of right wing state senators listening to Giuliani prattling on about conspiracies that had been laughed out of Pennsylvania's courts, including the state Supreme Court.

     The only way in which it was even marginally better was that, unlike the Four Seasons Total Landscaping fiasco from a couple of weeks ago, they actually got a real hotel to hold this ersatz hearing which brought to mind the fake courtrooms used in that same state by Unicredit, a scumbag debt collection agency that a decade ago had been sued by the PA AG's office for using fake courtrooms to extract debt from hapless victims (In a wonderful turn of events, the Covatto brothers who ran the business got out of paying a half a million dollars in judgments, fees and fines by simply declaring bankruptcy, thereby closing the case two years ago).

     So Rudy's toothless Spanish inquisition got a legitimate venue. Or maybe the Covatto brothers' fake courtroom was no longer available.

     Anyway, the Gettysburg Address 2.0 today consisted of watching the back of Giuliani's bald head while he ranted and made up election results. Trump won Virginia! (He lost.) He only lost by 1%! (He lost by 10%, or well over 440,000 votes). But that's a fight for another day! (No it isn't.) It was like watching the George Steinbrenner segments on SEINFELD.

     But then, the zaniness got exponentially ramped up to the titillation of the right wing Koolaid-garglers sitting behind Rudy and Jenna Ellis who obediently nodded when Ill Douche himself called the hearing on Ellis' cell phone, which Jenna obediently held up to the microphone. Among the things he said to the bobble-headed audience:

      “This election was rigged and we can’t let that happen.” 

      “We won Pennsylvania by a lot. And we won all of these swing states by a lot.” 

      “Anybody watching television the night of the election was saying ‘Wow, I was called by the biggest political people, congratulations, sir, on a big win. And all of a sudden ballots were dumped all over the place and a lot of horrible things happened.”

     Understandably, it went off the rails after that, as if Mayor Rudy's extra-legal opening statements already hadn't done that.

     That same Attorney General who'd closed down the Unicredit case two years, Josh Shapiro, wasted no time in knocking this shitshow for what it was: "a fake hearing" that "changes nothing."

     But that's not the last gasp of a dying attempt to subvert democracy in the same state where liberty and our democratic republic were birthed. Oh no, not by a long shot. Because as Trump called into the hearing that he chose not to attend at the last minute because Rudy was exposed to someone else who'd contracted COVID-19 as His Honor was shuffling through papers trying to remember what state he was in, one of Trump's second or third-tier shysters was flirting with filing a motion to essentially disenfranchise every Biden voter in Pennsylvania by having the election results retroactively decertified and have the General Assembly send only pro-Trump electors to the Electoral College.

     Then, in this Rube Goldberg fever dream, the decertification would then metastasize to other states, eventually costing Biden the presidency.

     Pennsylvania certified Biden's win in the Keystone State yesterday when it was signed by the governor.

     At this point, it's not just a matter of smelling the flop sweat in the air. You can see it as a fine mist, especially in Pennsylvania, Michigan (which Trump lost by 154,000 votes) and Arizona.