When the Filet Mignon Got Replaced By a Nothingburger
(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari)
"I flashed him a thumbs-up to signal, 'Did the meeting go well? What did
you think?' He kind of looked at me and shrugged his shoulders, Jake. And offered a little bit of a half smile." -Kaitlan Collins, CNN, 8/15/25
The only surprise that came out of the "summit" in Alaska yesterday was that Trump didn't walk backwards to Air Force One so no one could see Putin's footprints on his back.
The clusterfuck started before either septuagenarian megalomaniac deplaned because of course, Putin had to make a power play by making Trump stand and wait for him on the bizarrely out of place red carpet that Trump literally had unrolled for him. And even before that, Putin's Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov, showed up at the Captain Cook Hotel wearing a sweater emblazoned with "CCCP", the Cyrillic acronym for "USSR."
Then they did the usual handsy photo op, shaking hands and smiling awkwardly at the cameras but there was something different about this one. Trump put his hands all over Putin like a horny date on prom night and maybe more than one of us was wondering when he'd finally drop to his knees and fellate Putin right there on the red carpet to remove all doubt as to his allegiances.
Fortunately for our gastrointestinal systems, he was able to show some restraint and instead ushered Putin into the presidential limousine, known as the Beast, whereupon, except for the driver, the two men were alone in the car without advisors, translators or note takers. In other words, typical mob boss opacity. As observed by Nicolle Wallace, a six year government veteran, other world leaders riding in the presidential limousine isn't unprecedented but it's certainly uncommon.
At this point, it was already a pathetic spectacle, with Trump playing the anxious, nervous host to an autocrat who assassinates journalists, critics and political rivals with utter impunity, not to mention masterminding the ongoing mass murder of hundreds of thousands of innocent Ukrainians. And the only surprise was how badly this played out, considering Trump is all about optics and micromanages public events to the last detail.
In essence, Putin's first visit on US soil in a decade was a complex, choreographed, elevated home invasion, with Trump straining to appear ingratiating before any more damage was done. Even before Putin stepped off his plane, it was obvious who the alpha male was all along. It was Helsinki redux. Putin didn't have to promise any concessions before being allowed to land on American soil nor did Trump ask for anything. He began the "negotiations" not on an equal footing but from a severely compromised position, such diplomatically supine posturing typical for Trump when dealing with the Russian dictator.
Oh, and then there was some moron in the State Department leaving an eight page document containing sensitive information about the summit, including venues and phone numbers, in the hotel's printer. A State Department flak brushed off the serious security breach by saying it was nothing more than an itinerary for lunch. But the fact remains they shouldn't have allowed a random hotel guest to find it and go to NPR with it.
Who Was Missing?
Maybe snubbing Zelenskyy once again was a condition of Putin showing up at the "summit" in Anchorage, maybe not. But refusing to extend an invitation to Zelenskyy is just the latest example of the Trump government's ongoing hostility and disrespect toward the Ukrainian leader. It's difficult to see what Zelenskyy hopes to achieve in a second White House meeting except to see how well he can take a punch.
But regarding yesterday's Potemkin village of a summit, nothing, apparently, went according to plan. Things were changed, such as the one on one meeting turning into a a three on three then a six on three that inexplicably included Scott Bessent and Howard Lutnick. The filet mignon lunch was abruptly cancelled, the so-called press conference, in which Putin and Trump ignored questions from the media, ended prematurely.
In fact, during the joke of a press conference, the usually prolix Trump spoke for just three minutes and that consisted of talking about prices and how incompetent Biden was. The rest of the time, we were treated to the sight of Putin smirking and saying a roadmap to peace was achieved from behind a podium with the presidential seal before it, a perfectly apt visual of who's really calling the shots.
Throughout the "press conference", Trump looked tired, old, quietly frantic, his hollow eyes, as always, looking for imaginary enemies in the press spray. Afterwards, he talked to Sean Hannity and dodged his questions about the summit. And he dodged those questions because he knew he was walking away empty handed. Putin arrived not intending to make any concessions whatsoever.
And Trump showed up not intending to make any security guarantees for Ukraine, and I'm sure sanctions against Russia literally weren't on the table. Putin obviously insisted on keeping the land he's already stolen from Ukraine. Trump went there to half-heartedly make a deal that would make him look like a winner with a guy who thinks actual negotiation is a silly concept. All it did was burnish Putin's credentials by being allowed to visit American soil for the first time since 2015. And he walked away looking like a conquering hero while Trump flew off to his golf club with his tail between his fat legs.
In other words, for once, the pundits were right. It was a guaranteed nothingburger from the start and that's exactly what we got. And Trump seemed genuinely surprised that his personal charisma didn't carry the day, that a mass murderer with arrest warrants couldn't be reasoned with and bribed with a filet mignon.
posted by jurassicpork @ Saturday, August 16, 2025
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