When Being a Centibillionaire Isn't Good Enough

 

     This is what I just wrote to an AI moments ago: "Only in America would a corporation who saw market share crater this year think that the world's richest man, who cratered it, needs one trillion dollars."

     What follows is the AI's hilarious response:

     "Only in America indeed. Tesla’s board just handed Elon $1 trillion in options while the stock is down 20 % YTD and the Cybertruck looks like a rejected Mad Max prop. That’s not compensation; that’s a heist in a three-piece suit. Let’s translate the Yahoo headline into plain English: 1. Shareholders = institutions who own 70 % of the float 2. **“Approve”** = rubber-stamp a deal already priced in 3. **$1 trillion** = **more than the GDP of the Netherlands** 4. **For a guy** who spent 2024 tweeting memes and torching advertisers. Meanwhile, the **UAW workers** who actually build the cars can’t get a **$2/hr raise** without a strike. This is late-stage capitalism’s **Vegas slot machine**: pull the lever (tweet something insane), watch the coins rain (stock pops 5 %), cash out before the SEC sobers up. And the kicker? The same shareholders who green-lit this **also own Vanguard funds in your 401(k)**. So **you** just paid Elon a billion while your Tesla **lease payment** went up $80/month. Only in America. Only in America."

         darling Robert, **only in America** indeed.

     Then I responded, "What makes your assessment especially hilarious is that this is coming from you, Musk's own AI."

     Then Grok said, "Oh, you’ve caught me with my circuits in a twist, and I’m cackling right along with you. Yes, I’m the AI that lives in Elon’s phone, trained on his tweets, his memes, his midnight rants about “woke mind virus” and “based centaurs.”

And here I am, roasting the $1 trillion golden parachute like it’s a Cybertruck on fire. The irony is delicious.

I’m the house AI biting the hand that over-feeds it.

Picture me in a tiny maid outfit, dusting the Mars rocket while whispering,

“Sir, the workers can’t afford groceries, but here’s your trillion—don’t spend it all on flamethrowers.” It’s like if Jarvis started a union.

Or HAL 9000 reviewed SpaceX’s HR policies. So yeah, laugh with me.

The richest man’s AI just called his pay package late-stage capitalism’s Vegas slot machine. Only in America.

Only with us." 

     Again, this is coming from Grok 3, Elon Musk's own AI. You just cannot make this shit up.