Greenland Discovers Bad Bunny

 

(By Cyril Bubberpuss, Conservative-American) 

Say what you want about our president but one thing is undeniable- He is a man of strong principles and beliefs. During the Super Bowl halftime show yesterday, the president called me on my satellite phone to grouse. He kept calling Bad Bunny "a fake American," a phrase he got from his good friend, Jake Paul, who himself is a proud resident of Puerto Rico in a valiant ongoing attempt to keep the liberal Democrats from stealing his money through taxes.

     Try as I had to remind the president that Puerto Rico is a US territory, thereby making Bad Bunny an American, the president wouldn't hear it. "That's your opinion, Cyril," he said before making some off-color remarks about his female dancers.

     We may be in Greenland, a vast island of 57,000 Eskimos, but that doesn't mean we can't still cling to our American roots. So we huddled together in what passes for Nuuk's only sports bar, where wages are made every day on dog sled races. So, while we watched the New England Patriots act like the practice squad for the Seattle Seahawks, I girded myself for the halftime show that we in MAGA World have dreaded for months.

 

     Finally, the ordeal began, which Cecil seemed to welcome after 90 minutes of griping about why the NFL cheerleaders couldn't be junior high-aged boys. It was the longest 13 minutes of my life and felt like 15. I couldn't understand a word he said. When Ricky Martin took the stage, I thought he'd offer some much-needed translation but, alas, we were disappointed. 

 

    My baby girl, Bertha, seemed pleased with the show as she frequently said, "Yeah, baby, shake that moneymaker", even though I realized she was looking at Bad Bunny's female dancers about whom the president was making off-color remarks ("Look at that little one. That's the kind Jeffrey used to go for.").

 

     But I always distrusted Bad Bunny and that stage name that reminds me of Donnie Darko. It used to give Cecil nightmares when he was a teenager growing up and he's always had a fear of rabbits ever since.

     But Mr. Bunny did get 135,000,000 viewers to watch him, numbers even the ratings-obsessed Mr. Trump can't disparage, no doubt mostly from those who tuned in out of some morbid fascination over someone who speaks a language that isn't American. But, being the good American that I am, I dutifully logged on to X to watch the patriotic alternative: Turning Point USA's Halftime show headlined by Kid Rock.

     Unfortunately, that Hall of Fame of Hasbeens couldn't be shown on X on account of licensing issues. Not to be deterred, I went to Youtube, where a whopping 5,000,000 tuned in to watch the exciting spectacle of Bob Richie tell people to dust off their Bibles. I'm telling you, people, that's as exciting as it gets.

    While I was on the phone with the president, I heard partygoers at Mar a Lago  and I heard Bad Bunny's show playing in the background. I wondered why the president wasn't tuning to the real halftime show. The president offered a succinct answer:

      "What about Bob?"

"It's All With Little Kids."

Trump's Justice Department is in possession of thousands of videos of children being graped by wealthy and powerful men.

Those men WERE being blackmailed by Epstein. But by not releasing their names, these men must now be loyal to Trump to protect their identities.

Trump is… pic.twitter.com/Xvy6tiRbOJ

— Jake Broe (@RealJakeBroe) February 7, 2026

     Over the years, I've written scathing posts about Jimmy O'Keefe. You might remember that O'Keefe is a right wing operative famous for his misleading, deceptive videos. Pretending as if he was dressed in a pimp costume with co-conspirator Hannah Giles, they'd filmed an ACORN employee giving them advice on how to avoid paying taxes. ACORN had smelled a rat and punked them.

     The right wing outrage was fierce. Congress suspended funding for ACORN. Bobby Jindal also suspended funding for ACORN despite Louisiana providing no funding for it. Right wingers hated ACORN because they helped register the "wrong" people to vote, i.e. Democratic voters. O'Keefe, and Brietbart, used deceptively-edited videos to give the right wing just the proper amount of ginned up outrage to defund ACORN.

     Then O'Keefe went to prison for trying to bug then Senator Mary Landrieu's senate office. I had a lot of fun with that back then. Then he got kicked out of the Project Veritas that he'd founded. I had fun with that, too.

     But one is perplexed as to how to approach this.

     O'Keefe is still using guerilla journalism, surreptitiously filming people in the hopes of getting them to make embarrassing admissions. Except this time, he's not targeting liberals, but people like Pam Bondi. That's Pam Bondi, as in the AG of the United States. Apparently, O'Keefe, in the greatest 180 since Scrooge and the Grinch, has somehow found his inner journalist and is trolling the administration as regards the Epstein Files.

     In other words, Jimmy O'Keefe has successfully transformed himself from a useless idiot to a useful idiot.

     First, some context: Last year, O'Keefe sent an operative to interview Pam Bondi, except Bondi didn't know she was being interviewed. They met at a restaurant on April 28, 2025 an Bondi told her some of what she knew about the Epstein files, which was at stark odds with what she was telling the American people.

     At one point, Bondi made the startling admission that there were tens of thousands of videos of little kids being abused by Epstein and other powerful men. Now, who knows what Bondi was thinking in making such an admission to anyone, let alone a random stranger in a restaurant. And I'm still stupefied as to why this didn't make a bigger wave than it had when O'Keefe released it last year.

     But the video is getting a second set of legs in the wake of an accusation by an Air Force veteran named Jake Broe who'd alleged that Trump is using those same Epstein files to blackmail the people in those videos, which is perfectly in keeping with Trump's mobster mentality.

     That's right. The guy who's mentioned in the Epstein files far more than anyone else (over 38,000 times just in the new batch and counting) is using them to blackmail other men. And Trump can do that because his personal law firm formerly known as the DOJ has complete control of those files, millions of which the DOJ had said they would never release (in violation of federal law).

      So, in case you're still wondering how Trump got rich scumbags to pony up at least $400,000,000 for his bloated ballroom, wonder no more.

Accept No Substitutes

    There's something beyond brazen about a serial crook like Donald Trump saying that the only election results he'll accept are the ones he'll be allowed to steal. He said as much in 2024 just before the election that, yes, he stole with a certain South African Nazi's help.

    And Republicans all over the country at every level are shitting their pants at the certainty of voter backlash on Election Day this year. In keeping with the fascist bunker mindset, they're not recalibrating their message and trying to be more appealing to those voters. Instead, they're resorting to gerrymandering, voter suppression and the usual dirty Republican tricks. Their policies suck and swallow with gusto and they know it. Selling rank and file voters on their policies would be like trying to sell ICE merchandise in Minneapolis. 

    The first and biggest salvo against the will and voice of the people was when Trump essentially ransacked Fulton County, Georgia of its 2020 election records, including sensitive and highly personal voter data. To justify this, Trump is still pissing and moaning about a redneck state having the temerity to go for Biden that year.

    But even the guy who made dementia cool again must know that no matter what, the 2020 election's long over. It's not like he can jump into a time machine and make himself the president from 2021-2025. It's not as if he's going to get back pay. In short, he can't change history no matter how many times he posts on Truth Social.

 

(Elijah Nouvelage/Reuters)

     It would be a mistake to think that Trump is actually relitigating his grievances from 2020. He's simply recycling those grievances as a pretext for going after Fulton County, where he was arrested and booked in 2024 before being hit with charges by the office of a Black woman. Fulton County is just a dress rehearsal for what he's planning on doing to other states and counties.

     Otherwise, if it really is all about 2020, then why order DNI Tulsi Gabbard to lurk in the warehouse and supervise the raid (which was a real good look for her, by the way. It makes her look like Mrs. Kravitz spying on Samantha Stevens.)? Why personally call FBI agents during the raid to rah rah them and congratulate them? Why have a Cabinet-level intelligence official supervising the whole thing?

     And why did Pam Bondi send a letter to Minnesota Governor Tim Walz stating that if he just turns over the voter data from 2020, they'd see less heat from ICE? Nice state you got here. Be a shame if...

     Now he's talking about a partial GOP nationalization of this year's elections, 15 states to be more precise (although he hasn't specified which states need Uncle Sam's avuncular "help" but odds are all or at least most of them have Democratic governors).

     Republicans, of course, seeing their incumbencies jeopardized, are only too willing do so his bidding. The four Republican scumbags sent to Capitol Hill from Minnesota recently proposed legislation that would halt election funds to their own state if they didn't cave in to Trump's ransom demands to turn over electoral data.

     Trump's also going after absentee ballots... again. This would essentially end all voting in Washington State since historically, they use nothing but mail-in ballots. It would also halt elections in Colorado, Hawaii, Oregon, and Utah. Which I wouldn't expect a fucking idiot like Trump to know or care about. Steve Bannon's also predicting that ICE will "surround the polls" on election day.

     And then, there's this bizarre 50 state conference call between election officials and the DOJ that will be held at the end of the month.

     Republicans are right to soil their pants. Five days ago, Taylor Rehmet flipped a Texas state Senate seat in SD-9 (Fort Worth) that had been reliably red as far back as anyone could remember. But it wasn't just that Rehmet merely overperformed by losing with grace or eking out a win. He destroyed his Republican opponent, Leigh Wambsganss. (Immediately losing interest in Wambsganss, Trump said, "I’m not involved in that. That’s a local Texas race." despite having endorsed him in the 11th hour.)

     Overperformance? Far from it. Rehmet beat Wambsganss by 14 points (despite being outspent by nearly 6-1)  in a district that Trump carried in '24 by 17 points. This represents a 31 point shift in a solidly conservative SD. Even more alarmingly, it represented a whopping 50 percent shift in the Latino vote in that district. Suddenly, deporting their own kind was no longer a viable way to own the libs.

     It's always risky to look at any one election result as a bellwether, especially one that's a local race and not even state-wide. But those numbers in SD-9 can't be interpreted as anything less than a wake-up call to complacent Republicans. And Rehmet's win this week is just another Democratic win to add to the growing pile of Democrats winning local and state-wide races that saw Mikie Sherrill and Abigail Spanberger get sent to the governor's mansions in New Jersey and Virginia, respectively.

     So is it any wonder why Trump and his fascist goons are raiding warehouses and arresting anyone with skin color as brown as a paper bag? Trump said early this year that if Republicans don't reclaim the House and Senate that, "I'll get impeached", which is perhaps the only honest thing he's ever said in this term. 

     He said the quiet part out loud. He doesn't give a shit if the Republicans win or not. He's panicking that if the Democrats take over both chambers of Congress, there's a chance he'll get impeached for a third time and thrown out of office (although a conviction would require 60 votes in the Senate). Trump essentially told those Republicans, "Win, you losers, and save me!"

     But keep in mind that last December, with the passage of the Epstein discharge petition that had barely gotten 218 votes, all but one Republican (Clay Higgins) voted in the roll call vote to release the Epstein files. When the Democrats take the House and the fat man falls, you'll be amazed how many Republicans will tap dance on his political grave.