Welcome Back to Pottersville: January 2019

Monday, January 28, 2019

Gotham City Digest: Tilting at Non-Existent Walls edition

(In which we vow that "Incest is Best" will never be on our masthead.)

"State Department cancels border security conference due to shutdown over border security." A few days old but still hilariously ironic.

In case you got any silly ideas about Harris for President... (source LA Times.)

“They save good people from attempting a very dangerous journey from other countries. Thousands of miles because they think they have a glimmer of hope of coming through. With a wall they don’t have that hope.” -Some sadistic fuck squatting in the Oval Office.

By a happy twist of fate, Roger Stone just happened to draw the same judge that threw Manafort's ostrich-covered fat ass in prison. Watch the video where Stone got cat-called and heckled

I thought they revered all life in India. I guess that was bullshit, too.

      We had no contact with Russia!
      OK, we had SOME contact with SOME Russians but not from the Russian government!
      Alright, SOME of them were connected to the Russian government but...

Hillary's emails! Lock her up!

Sure, because why NOT go whining to a guy who's been banned all over social media?

The 12th paragraph of Mueller's indictment of Roger Stone is probably the most interesting because the "senior Trump Campaign official" referenced is surely either Trump himself, Don Jr or Jared Kushner. It could be interpreted as a warning that more indictments closer to Trump's circle will come.

Typically, the Stone arrest and indictment and him caving to Pelosi on the government shutdown on the same day resulted in more unhinged bullshit on Twitter such as ,"We will build the wall!" Which he's been saying for going on four years now.

Thanks to Trump, these poor Afghani families can't even bury their dead without getting killed themselves. We wiped out 29 members of an extended family with this one.

A little crash course on the bullshit concept of austerity measures. It's all a con, people. And it started way before the bailout of 2008.

Remember just two days ago Roger Stone was all, "I'll fight them on the beaches... yada yada yada"? Then I guess he saw all the prison memes on the internet and now is singing a different tune. Pretty soon, whenever Trump makes a public appearance they'll switch out "Hail to the Chief" for "The Party's Over", as in the Republican Party.
So, in summation, Roger Stone is either setting up Donald Trump so Mueller can tee off on him or himself for perjury charges. Stay tuned for more.

Meanwhile, Mick Mulvaney, the guy who drafted a budget with a two TRILLION dollar error, took a swan dive from 100 stories above solid concrete to deliver these whoppers.

Another example of those famous rock-ribbed, conservative Republican family values!

So, Russian bombers were buzzing our northern coastline. I guess Putin wanted a closer look at his new North American colony. Or maybe he wants Alaska back.

Why pork rind-crunching goobers thought electing a billionaire to the White House was a good idea is anyone's guess.

Yeah, let's talk about a fucking caravan, shall we?

Gee, it wouldn't be because they have something to hide such as collusion with a hostile nation or money laundering involving the "president", Douche Bank and the Russians or sabotaging the results of the 2016 election that Hillary actually won, could it?

Nah!

So, Trump fired a bunch of undocumented immigrants during the border wall standoff. Boy, what a class act, huh?

So, when Trump said he would "proudly" take credit for shutting down the government and wouldn't blame the Democrats, what he REALLY meant was he WOULD blame the Democrats? OK, it would've helped if you led with, "We were now living in Bizarro World." #promiseskept

Just days before Trump was supposed to make a diplomatic visit to Peru, the Peruvian government approved 4 new Trump trademarks. Another Festivus miracle!

Great story with a happy ending.

I've just watched part one of Netflix's Conversations With a Killer: Ted Bundy. And I'm immediately struck by the countless similarities between Bundy and Trump, things that go well beyond the fact they were born in the same year. There's the utter lack of concern or feeling for other humans, the inability to take responsibility for their own actions, a refusal or incapacity to look at their own actions except through the prism of a third person, the right wing politics and loathing for the liberal agenda. And after having watched this first episode, I fear more than ever of what we put in the White House.

Tom Brokaw always struck me as some elitist douchebag who sounds like Thurston Howell III with his jaw wired shut. But I never knew he was such a clueless, racist asshole until yesterday.

I can't believe this medieval Inquisition shit is going on in my state.

Trump's poll numbers are tanking after his cave-in, so naturally, he's claiming they're going up even among Hispanics.

If it wasn't for him still rah rahing Trump on The View today, I'd be half-tempted to buy Cliff Sims' book considering all the nuggets that are in it, including this one about Stephen Miller.

So of course, Harris County Texas Republicans use Holocaust Remembrance Day to bash liberals for it. Even though it was ultra right wing Nazis, the Republican Party's spiritual forebears, who were to blame for it.

Modern-day Fagin wants get rid of all child labor laws.

Trump shut down the government for over a month over $5.7 billion. We lost $6 billion, as a result.

At last, a nugget of honesty from this shitshow of an administration. And finally...

A little blast from the past lest you think Wilbur Ross is the rare Trump administration official who's free from scandal. He was accused of stealing $120,000,000 he plainly didn't need as well as owning an interest in a Russian shipping company owned by Vladimir Putin's son in law.

At this point, we should be asking ourselves if anyone in Trump's Cabinet has any ties to the US.

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Gotham City Digest, the Government is Open (for now) edition

(In which we promise to never shut down Gotham City over a needless wall.)

Granted, most of these news items came out just before the shutdown ended yesterday, but they're still worthy of attention because we must never forget the effect it had on working Americans as well as the shockingly callous attitude of the right wing elitists currently infesting the swamp that Trump just restocked with different alligators.

Remember back in the day when we used to feed the hungry and indigent all over the world?

Thanks to Trump, we are now the hungry and indigent. Maybe when Trump and Kim Jong Un meet next month, they can trade jokes about how they starved their respective nations.

Virginia is for lovers... of misogyny.

Had anyone else thought it was strange that Trump seemingly had no recorded reactions to Giuliani's countless unforced errors on national TV? Well, wonder no more.

"Control room error" my rosy red Irish ass.

I know this was a very boorish thing for Trump to do to Paul Ryan but part of me will always find this hilarious.

Yeah, it's time we apologized to the privileged white boys who never for a moment in their brief lives ever had to worry about harassment or racial profiling until the horrible way social media raked them over the glowing phosphors of the internet.

Sure, Lara, it's "a little bit of a pain" not having enough food to eat, getting your utilities shut off, not having enough insulin to treat your diabetes and getting evicted because you can't make your rent or mortgage.
Another "let them eat cake" remark from the right wing disguised as compassionate conservatism, people.

Democrats are about to launch a massive wave of investigations into the Trump family's countless breaches of national security. Let the games begin. And may the odds be ever in our favor.

Guess those bed and breakfasts are like catnip to those Canadians. eh?

You want to know why the government was still shut down after 35 days? Ask this little Nazi.

Because, of course. Tennessee.

Because I'm sure the semantics will make all the difference to a battered woman.

There is no one who can convince me this man isn't completely insane. Seriously. He's a five year-old who refuses to go in for a time out after breaking the vase. Inviting the president to deliver the SOTU before a joint session requires an Act of Congress in both chambers. But Trump thought he could walk in like he owns the joint. Which is exactly how a dictator thinks.

This is another reason why I'm not excited about Biden running: In the battleground state of Michigan, Biden endorsed the Republican, not the Democrat and accepted $200,000 from the state GOP to deliver a speech. The last thing we need is another turncoat sellout "Democrat" in the White House.

This stumblebum from Louisiana with the hobo chic beard is living in his own dream world. When asked why the GOP didn't fund the wall over the last two years, he tried to deflect and mentioned Obama and DACA. (Note the US-Israeli flag lapel pin. Yes, our elected officials are wearing the Israeli flag on their lapels.)

Meanwhile, Sarah "One Foot Out the Door" Sanders claims people are "so happy to destroy a kid's life." Which isn't true. What happened at the March for Life was, well, deplorable. You know who WAS happy to see a kid's life destroyed?
Racists who danced on Trayvon Martin's grave, on Michael Brown's grave, on Tamir Rice's grave, on Laquan McDonald's grave. Then manufactured evidence to try to prove the "little thug" had it coming to him. You know, people in "Real" 'Murrica.

Physically barring, arresting or seeking a restraining order against the president before the State of the Union would obviously be a nadir in American politics. Yet this is exactly what will need to be done. I say let the Capitol police guard the door to the chamber and if Trump tries to force his way in, well, let law enforcement do what law enforcement does.

As it stands now, I still cannot believe fucking Pelosi refuses to allow impeachment proceedings against him. Three quarters of the government is in turmoil and the other quarter is being starved out of existence.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the 4th Reich, two of the Covington kids went on Fox (of course) and dismissed them wearing blackface as "showing school spirit." Not explained was why they were harassing a black basketball player and why one kid was flashing the white power hand signal.

We are now officially living in a fucking Robert Ludlum novel. It's a given in fiction as well as real life- When a powerful man or men fall, there's always a beautiful woman in the middle of the mix.

It was inevitable, I suppose, that some right wing nut bag like Ben Stein would compare the far left Ocasio-Cortez with the far right Hitler, the godfather of the latter day Republican Party. But didn't Stein say just seven years ago that he supported the exact same thing when it was proposed by Obama? Bueller? Bueller?! (Tip o' the tinfoil hat to Constant Reader CC.)

A year ago, there were grave concerns about what passed for Trump's heart, And yet, here we are over a year later. His health is still the same and we're getting worse.

We're supposed to be the greatest nation on earth, not the Picture of Dorian Gray.

Billionaire douchebags like the Kochs really, really hate unions.

Well, that was fast. Is it any surprise Grand Dragon and Governor-apparent Ron DeSantis would appoint a racist as Secretary of State even after he appeared in blackface right after Hurricane Katrina?

Watch Rachel. Two days ago, she did a segment on Trump's inexplicable relationship with Douche Bank in Germany.

Ocasio-Cortez, Tlaib and Pressley Win Seats on Committee Set to Probe Trump. Maybe they could've gone with a better headline.

Let us all thank the baby Jebus these idiots are stupider than their German predecessors from 85 years ago.

Well, Pelosi won this staring contest. The next day, she won a bigger one.

Buzzfeed's second story about Trump's Russia House. The plans went way beyond the letter of intent. There were no less than 10 updates to the Trump team, exact percentages were hashed out and they even appear to have written the text for what would have been the brochures. No business in Russia, my ass.

Coming this fall to MSNBC: THE USUAL SUSPECTS, the series.

Netflix released tapes of an interview with a woman-victimizing Republican psychopath who was born in 1946. No, it wasn't Donald Trump.

"I don't quite understand why federal workers are needing to go to food banks. So the 30 days of pay that some people will be out, there’s no real reason why they shouldn’t be able to get a loan against it." says Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross. Where's Aaron Burr when you need him?

First amendment? Stupid poors! That's for rich people and Citizen's United!

"Cartoon villain come to life" perfectly describes Kellyanne Conjob aka Crack Whore Barbie. Now I'm starting to rethink who actually did write that anonymous NY Times op-ed.

The day the shutdown ended, LaGuardia itself got grounded. Why? The government shutdown. This never would've happened without Trump and Reagan smashing their PATCO union and making them federal employees.

Basically, it's right wing elitists vs working class people.

In case you missed it, this is the video of Roger Stone getting arrested and put in handcuffs.

And, for this lady, it was the greatest show on earth. And finally...

Well worth reading if you want a legal viewpoint on what to expect next.

Friday, January 25, 2019

Two Degrees of Separation

     Watching the Trump administration dissolve in real time on social media today was like watching that creepy snowman built by your psycho neighbor across the street lean and collapse with the first thaw.
     First, we were treated to the news this morning of the indictment and arrest of Roger Stone in Fort Lauderdale today. The self-described Republican dirty trickster "was charged with seven criminal counts including obstruction of an official proceeding, witness tampering and making false statements." Regarding witness tampering, Stone had threatened radio personality Randy Credico, the man who was identified by Mueller's team to be the conduit between Stone and Wikileaks.
     To show you what a guttersnipe of a thug he is, Stone had threatened to steal Credico's service dog, threatened to kill it then threatened his own life in an email in which he'd written, "prepare to die." Months earlier, when Credico was scheduled to testify before the House Intelligence Committee, then under GOP control. Stone had already testified before it in September 2017 and of course told them a pack of lies.
     As Credico's own testimony date was drawing near, Stone told him to "do a Frank Pentangeli", a reference to the mobster in Godfather II who changes his testimony before a Congressional committee to shield the Corleone crime family. Afterward, the Corleones' consigliere visits Pentangeli and gently suggests he commit suicide, which he then does.
     Yes, Roger Stone is taking is his cues from mob movies, which only goes to show what kind of thugs with whom Donald Trump chooses to associate himself. We know Trump's mobbed up. We don't have to look beyond the upper stories of Trump Tower to know that.
     Yet, if we're to believe the right wing spin (such as Sarah Sanders with that now permanent pleading, "please don't whip me, master, I'll do much better next time!" look on her face, who pathetically kept clinging to the old talking point, "Yeah, but this latest arrest and indictment still doesn't have anything to do with the president!"
     Patience, my dear child, the night is still young.
     And the buzz on the Beltway is that Steve Bannon will soon push Roger Stone off the front page because he's deeply suspected to be the one who directed Stone (on Trump's direction) to contact Wikileaks about them publishing the Clinton emails stolen by the Russians. And if it's proven that Trump directed Bannon to direct Stone to direct Wikileaks to torpedo the Clinton campaign, then that's just two degrees of separation and that'll be the end of Trump's "presidency."

Roger Stone Indicted, Arrested

Seriously, what the fuck is this, a federal probe or a Dick Tracy comic?
More on this later. Much more.

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Starve Uncle Sam!

(By Cyril Blubberpuss, Conservative-American)

“As any devotee of professional tax dodger Grover Norquist would tell you, Uncle Sam’s been looking a bit too fit around the belt line these days,” as I told a homeless mother of four shivering in a doorway with her brood. “And it’s about time we put the fat fuck on a diet!” I added before throwing her one of those fake 20 dollar bills sadistic evangelicals use to trick excited waiters into opening them and finding instead an invitation to one their babbling in tongues services.

And the current government shutdown has already taken in a notch on old Sam’s belt line but that’s only a good start! Don’t let those propaganda photos of a fit and slender Uncle Sam fool you! That motherfucker is as fat as a house! As proof, consider the very fact that the liberal media keeps bleating about, how 800,000 federal workers are now out of a paycheck. That alone bespeaks of a huge drain on the government coffers. But at least the payroll we’re now saving will finally justify Trump, Pence and the entire Cabinet getting those $10,000-13,000 a year pay raises to which those billionaires and multimillionaires so richly deserve.

Shrink the government down so you can drown it in a bathtub? Right now you can’t even if you had 1000 HH Holmes and an Olympic-size swimming pool!

Take what used to be dull, cumbersome air travel, for instance. Before, we had tens of thousands of Transportation Safety Administration screeners holding up lines looking in vain for the next 9/11 hijackers. Now, they’re calling in sick in droves, many are quitting their dead-end jobs. Now, flying the friendly skies will be more exciting and with an element of danger. At least, that’s what I told my jittery executive secretary who will be flying in my stead to Davos later this winter.

The President also will be living a more exciting life as his and the First Family’s personal protection in the Secret Service is now also going without paychecks. But it’s all worth it, I say. We need the Wall. It’s not as if most drug shipments are going through legal ports of entry such as our airports, anyway. And steel slats of good old Russian steel with very narrow spaces through them would filter out, among other things like fat Mexicans, the massive bags of drugs that the president said were being dropped on peoples’ heads like something out of a Buster Keaton comedy.

And it’s not as if shutting down the government in this pissing match between our hypervigilant president and the Democrat Party isn’t having salutary effects. For instance, federal grand juries that would hear witch hunt evidence against Mr. Trump can now no longer be empaneled because the Justice Department can no longer afford it. Thankfully, President Trump has his head on straight and isn’t going overboard with this shutdown- The IRS will now be able to process and send out tax refunds to the 1% who once anxiously awaited them so they can finally afford that third Mercedes or Bentley.

The president promised me as much last month in the Oval Office itself right around Christmas. The poor man was feverishly working and badmouthing Democrats on Twitter while everyone else went home for the holidays. I’m not bragging when I say I provided the greatest billionaire president in modern times with a valuable social bridge between the time Congress and the rest of the government scuttled away to celebrate Christmas and the time the First Lady showed up on Christmas Eve to console our valiant Wall Warrior.

“Cyril,” he told me as we ate some leftover Chicken McNuggets from the last annual White House office Christmas party, “nobody understands the stakes here but me! Just think what my base will do to me if I don’t give them a wall. Those clowns who voted for me are some crazy, sick fucks! And my own security detail will have to file for food stamps next month, too! And you know what's going to happen to that!”

Even my suggestion that he round up some of those Polack workers who’d built Trump Tower in 1980 and have them build six feet of wall and have himself filmed before it in a very, very tight shot didn’t lift the poor man from his doldrums.

“I mean, Fox isn’t even covering my rallies, any more. This is a ratings disaster! My 2020 campaign won’t have a chance. If it wasn’t for Putin, I wouldn’t even be here…!” He screamed before I said “Sh!” and pointed to a lamp on the Resolute Desk and mouthed, “Mueller, remember?”

“But it’s really about southern border security, right, sir?” I asked a bit too loudly.

“Border security?! Who gives a fuck about…” then he looked at the lamp again and said, “Oh, yeah. That, too. Sure. Whatever.”

Then I finally got him in the Christmas spirit when I reminded him that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s ratings for The Apprentice were worse than his will ever be. We high-fived each other and mutually agreed Austria was a shithole country just as Melania walked into the Oval Office wearing an outfit that made her look like a cross between a fucking Atwood Handmaid and a serial killer's idea of a Christmas tree.

My job was done. On the ride back to the airport, I discovered my Uber driver was Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. I smiled and rubbed my hands. Now it was time to drown the other 75% of Uncle Sam.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Remember Bowling Green!

(By Cyril Blubberpuss, Conservative-American)

(To: letters@theatlantic.com)

Huzzah, hear hear and other archaic exclamations of joy! It's about time someone got this narrative correct and assigned blame on the other side! Three cheers for the Atlantic and for Ian Bogost for his blast of fresh air regarding the hideous mistreatment of white Catholic schoolboys at the hands of bloodthirsty Indians and black Hebrews!

It is not the first time history had been made on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Martin Luther King in 1963 showed his gratitude to the man who freed his people by having a demonstration on the very steps of that memorial where he talked about a dream he had once. And now here we are 56 years later and fighting the same battle- Ensuring that Caucasian-Americans get the same Affirmative Action rights as everyone else!

Your man Ian Bogost rightfully said that we cannot afford to blindly trust in viral videos. If we are to continue doing this, anarchy would reign supreme and valuable context would be defenestrated with the industry of a stockbroker during Black October 1929. In fact, I myself do not believe videos ever tell the whole story.

Take the Michael Slager tape, for instance. Surreptitiously hiding behind a tree, some gangbanger took it upon himself to film a police officer in the commission of his duties. Those duties included shooting Walter Scott in the back six times as he fled the scene. On its face, I'll admit, yes, it looked bad. But if we had been given another opportunity for context, say, the entirety of Walter Scott's lawless life being committed to videotape as on The Truman Show, eventually we surely would have seen something that could've possibly warranted a Judge Dredd death sentence decades down the road!

Instead, what we were given was a brief cell phone video of a black man being shot in the back then the man who killed him planting evidence, nervously laughing about the adrenaline coursing through his system to his immediate superior and him telling Slager over Scott's rotting corpse that everything would be all right. There are countless ways to interpret that!

We would have never known about Scott's busted tail light and back child support which, back in the day, certainly meant a death sentence for a black man in a sundown town! Now a good man is rotting in prison because of some wouldbe James O'Keefe. And don't even get me started on the police dashcam video of Jason Van Dyke shooting Laquan McDonald 16 times in the back.

Van Dyke now has paid the "ultimate price", as his poor wife said, and is in prison because of a few minutes of videotape the Chicago PD and Mayor Emmanuel didn't even want to release because it cast their man in a bad light. I mean, at first glance, a cop shooting 16 times in the back a teen holding a small knife and walking away from him can look quite prejudicial. How do we know after the video cut out, McDonald didn't suddenly leap back to life and lunge at Van Dyke as he'd claimed?

We have the same situation here with the staring contest obviously won by Nicholas Sandmann, the brave young man with the MAGA hat. His unnerving grin and fixed gaze at Nathan Phillips surely bespoke of blind fear because the poor lad didn't know what else to do after he was terrorized by those Black Muslims that no one but his sharp-eyed mother saw on those countless videotapes.

I mean, how were we to know that those Indians on the March for Life Day wouldn't have suddenly produced tomahawks, spears, bow and arrows and various and sundry other implements of minor destruction and decided to get revenge for Wounded Knee? As with Bowling Green, it could have been another failed rebellion like the Indian takeover on Alcatraz or even another Little Big Horn!

So, congratulations for poo-poohing the lack of context given to the American public through those countless hours of video shot of this non-incident and for declaring that "both sides do it". It's about time those Indians began answering for their part in the Indian Wars of the 1870s and making reparations to white America like, say, the forfeiture of their land and allowing us to build leaky pipelines through them!

Sincerely,

Cyril Blubberpuss, Conservative-American

Monday, January 21, 2019

Gotham City Digest, Two Year Itch edition

(Where we will never prevaricate or vacillate on whether to spit or swallow.)

It took two years for the sticker shock to set in with these morons. How much you want to bet this latest shutdown is affecting them personally and causing them to turn on him?

A week ago, Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller published an op-ed by "a senior administration official" who openly hoped the furloughed workers would not come back. This is one of the real reasons for the shutdown, to realize tax dodger Grover Norquist's wet dream of shrinking the government so you can "drown it in a bathtub." These are the people Trump just lauded on Twitter for working for free and called "great patriots."

Trump does the bare minimum and gives lip service to Dr. King for less than two minutes. But what did you expect from a guy who called neonazis and white supremacists "very fine people"?

Yes, Trumpie the Klown's trying to make himself look thinner and his hands bigger.

I guess Cohen couldn't bribe CNBC with a Walmart bag full of cash like he did Falwell's goon.

Right wingers really get hysterical when they discover their toxic actions by proxy have consequences. This is why we needed Dr. Martin Luther King and a civil rights movement and why we STILL need one.

If it can confirm a right wing, partisan nutball like Kavanaugh, the Senate Judiciary Committee can certainly do this.

Every Sunday morning is like Christmas when Rudy Giuliani opens his piehole and admits Trump broke one law or another. Yesterday it was, "It's perfectly natural" for a president who's the subject of a years-long federal investigation to speak with his lawyer just before testifying to Congress. And you'd think a former US Attorney would know that's witness tampering, obstruction of justice and then threatening Michael Cohen's father in law is witness intimidation.

All three are federal felonies. And Trump is acting more and more like a mob boss and Rudy is acting like his senile Consigliere. Because another thing Giuliani did yesterday was to expand the timeline so that Trump was still canoodling with the Russians about the tower near or even after Election Day.

I've never been a huge fan of Maxine Waters but I admire her for having the guts to say the "I" word and calling for Trump's impeachment. That immediately puts her at odds with Pelosi and Hoyer, which to me is a good thing.

When you sell out and get into bed with Donald Trump, as sure as shit attracts flies, death and destruction will follow. Donald Trump is a living, walking pox and if you cast your lot with him, there WILL be consequences.

Glorified mall husband Mr. Kellyanne Conway takes another shot at Trump.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the heavily-smoked hamster ball of TrumpWorld, Mike Pence turns Donald "Blacks are inherently lazy" Trump into Dr. Martin Luther King.

Well, well, well. Look what Catholic school deleted its Facebook page. And look whose mother (a VP at a major bank) called the whole thing "fake news."

In case you were still wondering why the Gorilla Channel story was so believable two years ago, this is why.

OK, here's Trump's grand compromise: I'll make a bunch of vague promises like DACA extensions for up to three years (which he ended) that I'll have no intention of honoring and in return you give me the $5.7 billion I've been screaming for for over a month.

I listened to the entire 13+ minutes of this drivel and in doing so took a major hit for the team. That's gotta count for something.

Of course it's a non-starter. Pelosi was right to reject it out of hand. Trump made a bunch of vague and empty promises and assurances just like Putin and Kim Jong Un made to him and he expects Democrats will be taken in by the same shell game.

Pelosi wasn't and neither will the Dem House majority. These mealy-mouthed promises would be forgotten the nanosecond he ever got his hands on that money. His so-called propoals don't address the longterm security of migrants legally seeking asylum.
For Trump, this is all about winning and beating the new Democratic House majority in its first real test. This is NOT about border security.

So, get this: Roseanne Barr, unhinged professional hasbeen, is going to the Knesset at the end of the month to tell Israel what it feels like "to be an American Jew." She doesn't have the right to speak for all of them, especially as most American Jews are liberal Democrats and not right wing nut bags like her.

It's not very often you read an article in which Donald Trump is the voice of reason (then again, this IS from a book by Chris Christie). But this goes to show you how petty, vindictive and unhinged Jared Kushner is.

A Mexican airline did an experiment- They asked the residents of Wharton, Texas if they'd ever go to Mexico. When many said they wouldn't, they paid for DNA tests and whatever percentage of Mexican genes they had, they'd get that much off as a discount.

The results and reactions were priceless. (Tip o' the tinfoil hat to Stan the Man Banos and BOATS.)

It is bottomlessly pathetic when George W. Bush has to buy pizza for his Secret Service agents and Somalis have to provide lunch to TSA agents because of Trump's temper tantrum. And this serves as an object lesson in that Americans will always pull together and help each other when the chips are down. An object lesson that'll be forever lost on right wingers.

When I hear Trudeau say shit like this about BDS being "a pack of lies", it makes me think his intelligence is overrated.

The implication is very plain: Republicans visiting tyrants on the taxpayer dime is OK. But Democrats meeting with NATO and military leaders, not OK.

The wait time was already three years. But the umber homunculus in the WH doesn't care about that, either.

What the fuck does the length of a child's hair have to do with their willingness to get an education? You don't do that to a six year-old kid!

Florida yet again. Growing edible food in your front yard is now a crime. What the fuck is the matter with that state?

Melania flies to Mar-a-Lago on a military jet while a Congressional delegation got grounded.

In other words, "Do as I say, not as I do."

The chutzpah of these white assholes and their white privilege makes me want to puke. "He's paid the ultimate price"?! Seems to me Laquan McDonald paid the ultimate price of Van Dyke's malignant racism.

You'd think a corporation worth over $50,000,000,000 wouldn't have to steal money from children but you'd be wrong because this is, after all, Facebook.

The only summit he's going to have next month is with his lawyers on the other side of the plexiglass.

Yes, he's reduced to anecdotal lies about prayer rugs to make his case for the wall.

Forget the federal workers who keep our food, parks and airlines safe and keep the government running, Let's think of the fetuses, y'all.

Even a Texas Republican is calling Trump on his bullshit.

But if a black president wears a tan suit or asks for Grey Poupon mustard, grab the rope!

I love watching these right wing cunts flail against the inevitable winds of change.

Michael Cohen got a taste of what's awaiting him in prison. This is what's known as the wages of sin. "Shoulder surgery"? I've never known for shoulder surgery to result in a black eye unless Cohen fell off the table.

Sure as shit attracts flies, just hours after it was revealed Cohen was directed by Trump to lie to Congress, this came out. Divert and distract.

The Trump administration is simply a gang of sadistic psychopaths who belong in a rubber room, plain and simple. Its cruelty is bottomless and I spend virtually every moment of my online life dreaming up ways to be cruel and sadistic to right wingers. Really, I do. And finally...

GRAHAM: If there was some evidence that the president tried to conceal evidence, that would be obstruction of justice, potentially.

BARR: Yes.
Oops.