President Bovino Will Not Figuratively Come Up Short!

 (By Cyril Blubberpuss, Conservative-American)

Dear Mr. Bovino (https://www.bovino2028.com/contact):

    I have learned to my joy that you have thrown your German WWII helmet in the ring and are running for president in 2028. Just because that hasn't been picked up by the liberal news media, it doesn't mean it's not true. After all, your website, Bovino2028.com says so!

      Your very candidacy shows guts, and I don't mean the kind that distends Trump's girdle every day. It shows guts because you'd be taking on the mighty machine of the quasi-Trump-endorsed Rubio/Vance ticket (or the Vance/Rubio ticket- No one's decided which one will actually run for president until one or the other wins the weeks-old thumb war). This would tackle the age-old question not of, "Who would you rather have a beer with?" but, "Can we have a man in the White House who wouldn't be allowed to get on a roller coaster?"

     I say, Hell yeah!

     Secretary Markwayne Mullin, the world's most dangerous Munchkin, recently said of you, "I never met the guy. He's irrelevant to me. I don't know who he is." No doubt he was showing his modesty and refusing to name drop your fine name.

     Incidentally, many of us remember when you got hounded out of a Target in St. Paul, Minnesota last January in between ICE homicides. That was unforgivable disrespect but still pales in comparison to Target management renaming the child's urinal, "The Greg Bovino Memorial Commode". They'll pay for that when you get elected.

 

     And allow me to commend you for this AI-generated picture on your campaign website with the caption, "Men Fight Back". Indeed, it is the duty of men who are hard-wired to confront and deal with threats such as good-natured soccer moms who had just dropped off their kids at elementary school. We in the patriotic community know how quickly such types can get radicalized.

     Can subversive petitions and bake sales be far behind?

     And, let me add, Commander, that there are no hard feelings over how we parted company at the last CPAC when I had the temerity to ask you how you planned on deporting 100,000,000 people, or a third of the nation. At the time, I never stopped to think that, despite there being no more than 12,000,000 illegals aliens in the country, there are, at bare minimum, another 88,000,000 illegal alien sympathizers that we could do without.

      At the very least, we could make their citizenship conditional by putting them to work in the fields picking produce that migrants are too lazy and cowardly to harvest. I hear that fellow Mighty Mite Stephen Miller is already drafting out such a plan.

 

     But I am not the only member of the Blubberpuss household who is supporting your candidacy. My kid brother, Cecil, is also prepared to campaign on your behalf. My suspicion is he's attracted to you on account of your junior high-class diminutive size but I'm sure there are other reasons he's excited about your campaign. 

     Cecil doesn't seem to harbor any animus toward illegal aliens but when he ran the world's first sex chat room, www.cecilsprays.com, he was careful to keep his Eastern European talent in Eastern Europe and not bring them over here. It was a brilliant move that's been commended by President Trump and Melania, whose younger brother was part of Cecil's stable of talent that was acquired, often at night, from youth hostels.

 

     You seem to have assembled a crackerjack team of professionals, including the admirably self-loathing Yovana Alvarez, aka The Bovino Queen, who, hopefully, is better at running a campaign than she is at taking selfies.

 

 

     Then there's Jacob Engels, who looks like every guy in the back seat of a car taking a disgraced mobster for the Last Ride. Indeed, Mr. Engels is being persecuted by Biden lawfare as he was arrested just weeks ago in Wisconsin on possession of meth charges. Hopefully, the president's personal law firm, aka the Department of Justice, will get those specious charges thrown out.

 

     And then there's former Florida GOP chair, George Riley, whose clean, bulbous head seems tailor-made for a black SS hat. All he needs is the requisite facial scar.

 

     So, Commander, I look forward to January 20, 2029 when you step onto that soapbox and take the podium to greet with a not-Nazi stiff arm salute a nation that will hopefully get whiter and sparser as your administration progresses. Indeed, why shouldn't we roll back the population to where it was in 1969? In a nation where Biden inflation is now at 4.2%, the fewer people we have buying goods and services, the lower inflation will get. Supply and demand, after all (You can look it up on Wikipedia).

 

     Incidentally, I was not amused by this heavily-circulated AI picture purporting to show you at your command center in Minnesota last winter. We all know you were never that cute and America doesn't need a cute president.