Blame Bush

When Iceland's Eyjafjallajokull volcano erupted earlier this month, it grounded more tonnage since Rush Limbaugh's heart attack in Hawaii landed him in a hospital bed. Predictably, Limbaugh went all Pat Robertson and showed how impotently demented he is by blaming the volcano's eruption on the newly-signed health care "reform" bill.

You'd think that would be an isolated lunacy, that no one else out there would conflate a natural geologic phenomena such as a volcano erupting halfway around the world with a divine referendum on liberalism (which didn't even make a cameo appearance during the year-long debate). Sadly, you'd be wrong.

Mrs. JP, a native of Rhode Island and a regular reader of The Providence Journal came upon this breezy and chatty editorial about the Eyjafjallajokull eruption that ended with this open-ended and vague moral: "The forces that shape this planet continue to make themselves felt as people delude themselves into thinking that we can control nature."

...inspiring the comment

"The forces that shape this planet continue to make themselves felt as people delude themselves into thinking that we can control nature."

Hmmm....brilliant! A parting editorial shot at contemporary liberalism. Right on target!

Well, knowing conservatives as well as I do, I decided to look for similar diatribes against the evils of liberalism. I found that that comment at the ProJo was pretty tame compared to what I found at Sodahead's right wing sewer of a blog. Here's just a sample from the first page of a ten page-long comment thread to an article posted by Anthony Leone, who apparently is better-informed than the 350 year-old British Royal Society to whose findings he links:

Eyjafjallajokull is a windfall for the environmentalist wack-jobs. Gore is going to pocket another hundred million, probably receive another Nobel Peace Prize and liberals will orgasim all over the world. I crush my beer cans and recycle, so why did Eyjafjallajokull happen in the first place? Can one of you psychopathic wackos blame this one on Bush, as you did Katrina? Oh, wait a minute, Eyjafjallajokull happened in another country, no blame here! Nah, you're going to blame conservatives no matter what.

Read above. One your own "psychopathic wackos" blamed Obama for this, ascribing a political agenda to a sub-glacial volcano.

Anthony! If it's not global warming, then it has to be Bush's fault!

or maybe all the racism from the tea partiers did it!

or, maybe..just maybe, the Iranian cleric got it right....It's all them sexy ladies!

but it CAN'T just be a volcano doing what volcanoes do best! Can it?

What these mouth-breathers seem to forget is that this particular volcano in Iceland is beneath a glacier, and one that's eroded significantly this past generation due to the effects of burning fossil fuels. But what do a bunch of fuddy-duddy scientists know and why should we listen to them when Sodahead's commenters are more accredited experts? Onward, stalwart readers:

The Volcanos are perhaps warming up the Earth. There is no real evidence for this. The Congress and Oba,ma are going to pas s a global warming bill to flece the American public some more. They are going to tax every breath we take and when we cannot pay the tax our lives will be forefiet. TYou stupid Liberals think you shall escape this fate???? The Obama is a severe Eugenisist. Just like Hitler, but it is us who'll be the JEWS this time. Both black and white Jews.

Urk. Gargle. The stupid is not only actually infectious, it's airborne! Save yourselves!

Jeebus ... are we going to have to take another round out of these monkeys?

When they are caught red-handed gathering bullshit data, faking the evidence, silencing dissent ... and generally behaving like Democrats, that isn't good enough? And ... is that skanky jackass, Obama going to allow the Gore, Goldman, Strong criminals at the CCX to rape our businesses, based on this deception?

I want Jesus down here .... right now.

Uh, no, you don't. You'd be first on his shit list.

Hey Send B.O. he can just order the Volcano to stop!!!! Or we could send the Gorical

Only one voice of reason comes out this entire first page and it's this:

I think you've got it exactly backwards: according to Rush Limbaugh, Obama is such an outrage against nature that he caused the Icelandic eruption. I guess that's as close as rightwing idiots can get to a scientific explanation for natural phenomena. Whatever gets you thru the night...

You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone on our side of the tracks who's willing to blame Bush for the Icelandic volcano erupting because the process of global warming began over a century ago when we began drilling for and using fossil fuels at an accelerating rate. You want a better, more scientifically compelling explanation for global warming? Here ya go:


This is what your tree-hugging, arch liberal Barack Obama wants to risk by opening up offshore oil drilling along the east coast.

What I blame Bush for is in politicizing, polarizing and dividing everyone and everything so that even news of a volcano's eruption halfway around the world becomes a political football that invariably gets aimed at the heads of liberals as if this was a psychopathic game of dodgeball.

Obviously, we're wasting our time trying to make sense to these trogs and orcs. If I had my way, I'd round up every Goddamned one of these willfully ignorant, knuckleheaded cocksuckers and drop them into the crater of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano before they force humankind into the evolutionary tipping point of regression.

It's one thing to advance an opinion. It's another thing entirely to try to stitch together completely disparate facts and non facts and to fly in the face of peer-reviewed scientific reason. Unfortunately, Mother Nature has a cruel sense of humor that manifests itself in more than just earthquakes and volcanic eruptions and proves it when she renews the human race's Flat Earthers who, without even being aware of it, are defending oil cartels, polluting industrialists, HMOs and other entities that are laughing all the way to the bank even as they slowly shove them, and us, into the grave.

I expect these Flat Earth freaks were out in full force on Earth Day, making fun of everyone who has a vested interest in keeping our planet habitable and healthy. And no doubt they would have gotten their 15 minutes if the mainstream media actually gave a fuck about Earth Day.