Monday, May 3, 2010

We Are Main Street


A Rejoinder.

We are Main Street. It's not our job to make money but to support our households. Whether it's a nursing, firefighting, factory work, or some hypothetical piece of the fake American Dream, it doesn't matter. We would harvest tomatoes if it was profitable and if the current wave of xenophobia and unemployment continues, some of us may have to. I didn't hear Wall Street complaining when the unemployment rate was roaring to 10% and everyone's 401(k) was trashed by Enron. Just like fucking the neighbor's pooch, it’s not a problem until you get caught. I've never heard of anyone going to Alcoholics Anonymous because they were the life of the party.

Well now, you and Lehman Brothers and Goldman Sachs and WorldCom and Enron and Magnatar and others have turned the market into crap, & even though it has yet to come back somewhat for Main Street, the corporate raiders and the stockbrokers are still looking beyond themselves for a scapegoat. God knows there has to be one for everything. Well, here we are, the American worker.

Go ahead and continue to take us down by bundling our retirement funds, our life insurance policies, our mortgages, but you're only going to hurt yourselves. What's going to happen when we can't find jobs on Main Street anymore? Guess what: We're going to take your million dollar condos and fuck your wives, high-priced hookers and your pooches.

We, especially those of us with two jobs, get up at 5am & work till 10pm or later. We're used to not sitting on our fat asses all day thinking up new and creative ways to rearend the American worker or get to pee when we have a customer. We don't take an hour or more for a lunch break at the Four Seasons. We demand a union because of capitalistic sociopaths like you. And we certainly don't retire at 50 with a pension, whatever that is. We eat what we can when we can, and when the only thing left to eat is cat food, we'll remember that. We'll remember you.

For years teachers and other unionized labor have had us fooled. We were too busy working ourselves to death for less and less to notice. But the American Dream is a sweat-drenched nightmare straight out of Elm Street because of you. Do you really think that we are incapable of learning how to fuck over the old and destitute? We, too, could go to business college and take your cushy jobs with stock options and 4 months off a year and whine just like you that you were still underpaid for selling out the youth of America.

But we think there are things better worth pursuing like building the American family and maintaining Main Street, valiantly trying to keep alive the American work ethic and pump the American Dream that you've discredited with an ambu bag in a vain attempt to keep it alive. Say goodbye to your stock options, perks and double lattes. I'll be hitting grounders to my kid for free each summer just before the revolution, thank you very much. Remember the French Revolution that your junior high Social Studies teacher droned on about while you were dreaming of how you could sodomize the American worker with impunity and even the support of our government? Let that be your guide.

So now that most of us are going to be making minimum wage without upside in this non-producing nation of shopkeepers you've helped create, Joe Main Street is going to have his revenge. Because people with nothing left to lose are the most dangerous. You think you have us outsmarted? Wrong!

Guess what: we can't buy the new 80k car, or even eat out at Subway, let alone leaving the 35 percent tip at business dinners paid for with expense accounts paid for with bailout money paid for by our tax dollars. But, we Main Street say, no more free rides on our backs. No more bailouts, no more complete lack of accountability. We can landscape our own back yards, wash our cars with a garden hose in our driveways, thank you very much. Our money was your money. Our future was your shortterm, short-sighted gain. You gambled and spent it. And when Main Street dries up, so will you.

The difference is, you lived off of us like the gabardine-swaddled parasites that you are and you're right. We rejoiced in it. Because starting with the Reagan Years, we were also fooled into thinking that Wall Street's health was synonymous with Main Street's health.

The Reagan, Bush I and Bush II administrations and the Republican National Committee might get their way and knock us off the bottom of the pyramid and the United States into a scorched, polluted, over-drilled wasteland. But it's really going to hurt like hell for you when our sore and bleeding asses land directly on the Main Streets of America and you'll have nothing left to squeeze.

You are dinosaurs. You were too smart and vicious for your own good, too complacent, thinking you were too big to fail, that the fruit would always be plentiful and low-hanging, that the prey would darken the plains and remain plump. But you will not survive. The question is, now that Reagan, the Bushes & their administration have made Joe Main Street your dwindling food supply, what will you do when we're all gone? Or when we descend on Wall Street like a meteor?

5 Comments:

At May 4, 2010 at 5:31 AM, Anonymous Realist said...

You responded to that moron much more civilly than I could have.

These bloated bozos forget that someone has to guard their gated communities, and that someone isn't going to like being treated as a lower-class organism very long. Such a person would be easily turned once the subtle insults sink in, and who will protect their sorry slumber then?

The history of Rome is replete with examples of the Praetorian Guard turning on the ruler and setting up one of their own as a replacement. It will be thus with these self-proclaimed elitists. Pleasant Dreams, Wall Street!

 
At May 4, 2010 at 7:32 AM, Anonymous P'ville reader said...

Did you write this? If so, pretty good. If there was any justice in this world, it would go as viral as the original (which I still say was fake. It got a bit of a dissection at Salon.com, BTW).

Ha! I said "if there was any justice in this world." Yeah, riiiiiiight!

 
At May 4, 2010 at 7:54 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Yes. If I hadn't, I would've given attribution.

 
At May 5, 2010 at 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These periods of unfettered greed always end unhappily... for the greedy sonsofbitches who bankrupt their nations.

Often, these phases end when the "elite" start finding their grandchildren swinging from lampposts.

Shorter: Don't shit in the kitchen.

 
At May 6, 2010 at 12:39 AM, Blogger nichola said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Lucy

http://businesseshome.net

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Top 10 Secret Service Security Breaches
  • Top 10 LA Radio Shows That Are Rated Higher Than Rush Limbaugh's
  • Top 10 Reasons Operation American Spring Went Flat
  • Top Ten Facts of the MH370 Air Disaster
  • Top 10 Tips for GOP Congressmen Running Against Women
  • Top 10 Signs Walmart's Mistreating its Workers
  • Top 10 Diversions John McCain Found During Syria Hearing
  • Top 10 George Zimmerman Excuses for Speeding.
  • Top 10 Reasons Paula Deen Got Fired by the Food Network
  • Top Ten Ways Pope Francis is Deviating From Convention
  • Top 10 Reasons For the Pope's Resignation
  • Top 10 Emails Hacked From the Bush Family's Email Accounts
  • Top 10 Lies Told by Mitt Romney at the 2nd Debate.
  • Top 10 Examples of How Hard the Campaign Trail is on Ann D. Romney.
  • Top 10 Ways to Tell The Boston Red Sox Are Finished.
  • Top 10 Things Mitt May be Hiding in His Tax Returns.
  • Top 10 Events at the Romney Olympics.
  • Mitt Romney's Top 10 Wild & Crazy Moments.
  • Top Ten Reasons Why Dick Cheney Got a Heart Transplant.
  • Top 10 Facts About Tonight's New England/Denver Game.
  • My Top 10 Resolutions.
  • Top 10 Rejected Slogans of the Romney Campaign.
  • Top 10 Reasons Herman Cain Suspended His Campaign.
  • Top 10 Trending Topics on Twitter During #OWS Eviction.
  • Top 10 Herman Cain Pickup Lines.
  • Top 10 Changes Since Anthony Weiner Decided to Resign.
  • Top 10 Inaccuracies re bin Laden's Death.
  • Top 10 Ways to Prevent a TSA Patdown.
  • Top Ten Things Not to Say When You're Pulled Over.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Bowed Out of the Presidential Race.
  • Top 10 Ways Evangelicals Will Prepare for the Rapture II.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Today's Parliament Inquiry into News Corp.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why There Was No Vote on the Debt Ceiling Last Night.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Dick Cheney's Upcoming Memoir.
  • Top Ten Ways Americans Will Observe the 10th Anniversary of 9/11.
  • Top Ten Advances in Women's Rights in Saudi Arabia.
  • Top Ten Inaccuracies in Bill O'Reilly's Book About Lincoln.
  • Top Ten Suggestions From the Cat Food Commission.
  • Top Ten Worst Moments in George W. Bush's Presidency.
  • Top Ten Facts in George W. Bush's Memoir.
  • Top Ten Reasons Terry Jones Postponed His Koran Burning
  • Top 10 Causes for Dick Cheney's Congestive Heart Failure
  • Top Ten Ways That Jan Brewer Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo
  • Top Ten Demands in Sarah Palin's Contract
  • Top Ten Whoppers in Karl Rove's New Book
  • Top 10 Items Left Behind in Rush Limbaugh's Apartment
  • Top Ten Things Barack Obama said to Rush Limbaugh in the Hospital
  • Top Ten Bizarre Promos Offered by the New Jersey Nets
  • Top 10 Bush Executive Orders Labor Wants President Obama to Repeal
  • George W. Bush's Top Ten Lesser Achievements
  • Boolean Bozoism

  • #19
  • #18
  • #17
  • #16
  • #15
  • #14
  • #13
  • #11
  • #10
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Christwire.org: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • Hullabaloo, Digby's place.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • The artist formerly known as Politits. The politics are still liberal.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Salon.com.
  • Raw Story.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find Articles.com, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • Dictionary.com.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • anysoldier.com
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger

    http://DeeperLeft.com