Live Tweets From Last Night's VP Debate

Live blogging or tweeting a debate surely isn't on a par with running into burning buildings, facing armed criminals or defusing bombs in a war zone. It's not a heroic endeavor yet there's a demand for it and requires special skills such as thinking on one's feet while multitasking in a rapid-fire social networking environment such as Twitter. What follows below are some of the better dispatches launched from my laptop last night as I listened to the debate on C-Span last night. (The @ShitWillardSez parody account is mine, too.)

C-Span: HBO for nerds. #VPDebate #p2 #p21

— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

@karlrove Hey, Turdblossom, leave the laughs to those best at it: The Romney campaign. #VPDebate #p2 #p21

— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

@karlrove Strong foreign start by @reppaulryan. Clearly discombobulated @joebiden./Are you getting your feed from Kolob, Turdblossom? #RWNJ

— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Sure, Paul, Republicans "want to prevent war" like hookers want to stop the spread of STDs. #VPDebate #p2 #p21

— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Ryan: "Iran's close to nukes. Trust us. We're the party that found WMD's in Iraq." #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Ryan: Grover? Isn't that some character on Sesame Street? #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Oh fuck. Is it too late to get another running mate? Ann, is Sarah Palin still on the Rolodex?! #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Willard Romney (@ShitWillardSez) October 12, 2012

Ryan; 23,000,000 American are out of work. The BCL says 12.1 million but what the fuck do they know? #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Romney's "a car guy"? He's the same guy who wanted to sign Detroit's death warrant. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

We taking notes, Barry? This is how a REAL Democrat sounds during a debate. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Create 12 m jobs? That's exactly how many people are out of work. So Romney will completely eradicate unemployment? #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

The #VPDebate so far: Ryan lies. Biden calls him a liar. When are we going to snap a pool cue in half like the Joker? #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Paul Ryan: "My family were 47% moochers looking for a gov't handout but we saw the light." #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Another five minutes of Biden and Ryan won't be able to sit down.#VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Paul Ryan's drinking more than Dean Martin on New Year's Eve. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Ryan: "We don't want to stay in Afghanistan. The cell phone reception sucks. And don't get me started on the golf courses!" #VPDebate #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Biden: "It's called 'National fucking Sovereignty, you stupid, gobmsmacked fuck stick!" #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

@angryleft2012 Oh, you should see @karlrove's Twitter. It literally stinks of vomit, quaaludes, bile and Jack Daniels. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Paul Ryan trying to debate Joe Biden on foreign policy is like a whore lecturing a minister on morality. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Good tactic. Biden's using Scalia as a threat. That's about all the good Fat Tony serves. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

"I'm not pro-life simply because of my Catholic faith. I'm pro-life because I don't give a fuck about women's rights." #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Tonight, I haven't laughed this hard since THE BIRD CAGE. I think the same goes for Joe. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

UIh, Paul? Your Mormon Bishop running mate told a pregnant woman in '83 to to go full term even if her life was endangered. #VPDebate #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Wow. Ryan's walking bow-legged. His wife just asked him if he wants an ice pack. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

For what Biden did to him tonight, Ryan might've just as well have spent a w/e in Provincetown and probably would've had more fun. #VPDebate
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Btw, if you think this was easy for me, think again, folks. I'm 53 & haven't gone for 90 minutes w/o peeing since 1999. #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) October 12, 2012

Now Ryan's calling me on my cell, crying like a little bitch that got jilted on prom night. Man up, for fuck's sake! #VPDebate #p2 #p21
— Willard Romney (@ShitWillardSez) October 12, 2012