The More Things Stay the Same, the More They Change
As Obama starts stroking that massive, uncut black cock of his in Syria's general direction, the GOP was screaming that Obama was going to essentially declare war against a giant bowling pin, aka President Assad. Then Obama announced while Congress was still in recess until September 9th that he would first seek Congressional approval before engaging in any military action vs Syria.
"Well... day-am," the GOP then said since the President had scuttled their one biggest chance for writing articles of impeachment in the sick, sad, sorry clown show that is the House of Representatives.
Of course, what Obama refused to say, and this is telling, was whether he'd still go to war with Syria even if the Republicans won't let him get his latest war on. Because, you know, it's not as if a President has ever gone to war without Congressional approval by not actually declaring war.
So in the midst of this latest nakedly brazen attempt to enter Iran through the back door, aka Syria, I took a stroll down the Memory Lane of my gray matter and recalled Nancy Pelosi's visit as part of a bipartisan Congressional delegation and how the right wing mouth foamers went all full tilt Cujo over Pelosi just shaking Assad's hand. Never mind the fact that a previous delegation comprised heavily of Republicans went to Syria for the same exact purpose. Pelosi seemed to cut out Junior when he was busy choking on a pretzel or comparing himself to actual Presidents or attending GOP fundraisers while ignoring grieving war mothers.
"It's... it's un-Merican!" they said as their pointy little heads quickly vibrated from side to side like something out of a modern B horror movie. They, too, were stroking their peckers (albeit smaller than Obama's. That particular mystique is true, by the way) in Syria's general direction, ready to spooge all over the Middle East as Bush tried to do in his panspermic attempt to ejaculate democracy all over Iraq and Afghanistan.
The right wing sure stroked their match-sized woodies, all right, as they convinced themselves and risibly tried to get the rest of us to believe that, well, shit, Saddam's WMDs have gotta be somewhere and we know for a fact they were moved to Syria by Fedex or Three Guys and a Moving Van or somebody. Invade, invade and Play us Some Wagner! they hoarsely screamed while friggin' their little woodies and while we were still in the middle of two wars.
Except that never happened. It's not as if the Military Industrial Complex that, along with Israel and the oil cartels, controls our foreign policy wanted none of it. They wanted some more of that American taxpayer pie, some more of those sweet, sweeeeeeeeet cost-plus, no bid deals that hand John Q. Public double bills for food and fuel and $100 screwdrivers, $500 toilet seats and half-built buildings that never get finished.
No, people, it wasn't as if the MIC was too bloated and would've thrown up all over itself if we'd tamped a few more tens of billions of dollars down its bottomless gullet. No, what kept us from going to war with Syria was when cooler heads prevailed, particularly Democrats who were already belatedly beginning to, ZOMG, suspect the Great Pretender in the Oval Office wasn't completely up front and above board with them as regards Iraq and those many, many oil and gas fields and, oh yeah, democracy and freedom, blah blah blah.
But now, the Giant Bowling Pin of the Middle East is being a very bad boy and refuses to fall and is killing all sorts of well-meaning rebels that, just a few years ago, would've been practically fellated by the GOP. And now that it looks as if the reports we were hearing about Assad using chemical weapons on his own people has been just proved to be yet another MSM hoax, and since Obama is firming that Illinois blackfish and rattling that fleshy sabre in Assad's direction, now suddenly...
...the Republican Party has no stomach to invade Syria? The Republicans are now positioning themselves as doves? Really? Seriously?
The GOP's hypocrisy and barely-latent racism knows no bounds and few if any things they've done and said during this 44th administration betrays this hypocrisy moreso than what's going on in Syria., a nation whose fortunes one way or the other do not impact our own and aren't even a major oil-producing country (although the unrest, you can be sure, is why oil companies seized on this opportunity to jack up gas prices by a full dime in one fell swoop this past week).
Assad has been massively unpopular with right wingers for the simple reason that he doesn't often enough align his policies with our corporate interests, which is exactly what got Saddam toppled both literally and figuratively. Assad, just another tin-plated dictator, is just enough of a statesman to know what a ravenous pack of feral, bigoted, war-profiteering assclowns Americans tend to be and had called a spade a spade.
But now suddenly Republicans are screaming laissez-faire regarding Syria and all because The Black Guy wants to topple the bowling pin.
Look, folks, I don't pretend to be an expert in Middle Eastern politics or to even understand at a high school level what's going on in Syria. I'll leave such infernally complex geopolitics to the experts like Prof. Juan Cole and Nick Kristoff. But one fact stands clear: Poll after poll states that 8 in 10 Americans are opposed to any military adventurism in Syria. We are a weary nation exhausted from terror alerts and flag-draped coffins coming off the transports in Dover because we are a nation that's been at war since October 2001. That means the 7th grade children starting school next week have never lived in a nation that has not been at war.
And even if only out of convenience or hypocrisy or racism, when the Republicans have positioned themselves as doves regarding a country that only a few Congresses ago they wanted to invade with black helicopters and Wagner blaring from the speakers, then it goes to show you how far to the right this administration has effortlessly steered itself with your knowledge and consent.
And when, not if, when Congress tells Obama he can't have his war after his summer vacation and he goes ahead and sends drones and troops there, anyway, liberal heads will be exploding from coast to coast.
And yours truly will be there cheerfully keeping count with a pen and clipboard, squee-geeing up the gray matter and not bothering to look big as I succumb to the urge to say, "I told you so."
posted by jurassicpork @ Saturday, August 31, 2013
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