Actually Seen on Facebook

     This is the same fucking blow-dried con man who lives in a gated compound worth $10.5 million and drives a Ferrari sports car worth $325,000. That would be the very same crooked cocksucker who reluctantly opened up the doors to his megachurch to Hurricane Harvey victims and even then he had to be shamed into it.
     Years ago, I chided Osteen for his $8,000,000 advances for his bullshit books and this was the immediate result:

     Well, that wasn't very Christian of him, now was it? Didn't Jesus preach turning the other cheek? Jesus didn't say, "Blocketh all those who criticize thee for serving both Mammon and God."
     Osteen represents everything that is wrong with latter day Christianity. If we must have it and are forced to tolerate it in our midst, if they persist on basing their denominations' dogma on a book of fairy tales, then stick to the teachings of that book. The staggeringly crooked assclowns like Osteen, Jesse Duplantis and Creflo Dollar, people who have no problems demanding $54,000,000 and $65,000,000 respectively for brand new private jets somehow manage to justify these exorbitant expenditures. Take Duplantis, for instance, when he said last year,
     “If the Lord Jesus Christ was physically on the earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey. He’d be in an airplane flying all over the world.”
     The Lord Jesus Christ did not respond to requests for comment.
     To those of you who may have forgotten, Jesus owned a robe, and one given to him by the Romans just before they crucified him, rode a donkey and preached on a fucking rock.
     To those of you who may have also forgotten this, compare the humble Jesus, who never traveled more than 30 miles from his birthplace, with these assholes living these bloated lifestyles, preaching in stadium-sized megachurches that are thinly-disguised profit centers and fly around the world in luxurious multimillion dollar private jets and wear $5000 silk suits.
     These are exactly the same kind of money changer cocksuckers who got their asses kicked by Jesus for doing business on the Sabbath. And they're so arrogant in their relentless search for ultra wealth, they don't feel the need to apologize for their ultra wealth in violation of Biblical scripture. Apparently, scumbags like Osteen didn't read the part of the Bible that states it'd be easier for a camel to fit in the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.
     That's how we've gotten Osteen's version of Amazon Unlimited: For the low, low price of just $50 a month, you can get ten, count 'em, TEN prayer requests each month just like Amazon Unlimited members can get ten titles a month on their Kindles. Yes, Osteen's getting his marketing ideas from Jeff fucking Bezos.

     Yes, Joel, indeed it's time to get that shovel out because we're drowning in it.