Welcome Back to Pottersville: Festivus for the Rest of Us

Whereth the Jurassic One Venteth His Spleen in a Most Vexing and Uncouth Manner

Because this is the airing of Grievances.

Because your crimes are so infamous, I won't even need linkage to prove what I'm about to write.

Because when you're regarded by some as "the president", your crimes are well-known because, whether or not you like it, sometimes even the corrupt, corporate mainstream media does do their job and your endless crime spree is magnified as under an electron microscope. So let's commence with my own airing of grievances.

Goddamn you for endangering our and Ukraine's national security by withholding Congressionally allocated funds to fight Russian aggression in exchange for dirt on a political opponent? Which is the crime that originally launched your impeachment.

Goddamn you also for the subsequent and inevitable coverup (Did you never hear the hoary old political truism that the coverup is always worse than the crime?)

Goddamn you for bribing Republican senators into not convicting you (something an innocent man would never have to do) by stuffing money in their pockets and offering them golf outings at Camp David.

How dare you embarrass and insult a grieving widow by saying her late husband was in Hell and in his own home state? Whether you know it or not, that was the first time you were booed by your own fans at one of your Nazi hate rallies.

How dare you tell the widow of a fallen soldier, "He knew what he signed up for"?

How dare you insult the Khans, who lost a son in the Iraq War?

How dare you ambush that British couple whose son, Harry Dunn, was run down by the wife of one of your ambassadors by telling them the woman who killed their son then fled was in the next room? You should never be allowed within a mile of grieving families. The effect you have on them when you start in with your sociopathic spiel is like rubbing salted vinegar into a bullet exit wound.

How dare you and your son Eric steal from St. Jude's children's cancer charity?

How dare you pretend to raise money for veterans then have to be shamed into giving it to them?

How dare you lie to the people of Alabama and frighten them into thinking they were in the path of a hurricane when they weren't just to prove you weren't wrong about that?

Trump University was a fraud from the beginning then you had to pay up $25,000,000 to settle out of court and you have the nerve to bellow about someone else's corruption even when it doesn't exist? Psychiatrists call that "projection."

Windmills cause brain cancer? Are you fucking serious?

Article Two of the Constitution does not give you the right to do whatever you want. It was written partly by the Founding Fathers to keep you from doing that.

The Emoluments Clause is not fake.

Your vengeance is petty, childish and unpresidential but you have a special venom for women of power who cross you. That includes Speaker Pelosi, Congresswomen Maxine Waters, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Frederica Wilson, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib and too many others to mention. Your extra special venom is reserved for women of color.

You attract the attention and support of racists, white nationalists, white separatists, the KKK and neo Nazis for good reason.

Among them was you saying that there were "very fine people" on both sides of the Charlottesville riots, even though just one side killed an innocent young woman named Heather Heyer and beat up African Americans. That side was your base.

Never once have you meaningfully condemned the radical white power faction because you know that's your base. So, you're not only a racist, you're a coward with the balls of a chipmunk.

How dare you call other nations "shithole countries" when you yourself are turning the United States into one?

You're going to bring jobs back? Your insane and illogical trade war with China has already cost us tens of thousands of jobs and made life intolerable for our farmers.

The deficit under you had ballooned by another trillion just this year alone.

A year ago, you shut down the government in a shit fit because you didn't get funding for your medieval wall.

How dare you withdraw from the Iran deal, the Paris Climate Accord, the INF and the United Nations Human Rights Commission?

Everything you do empowers Russia and weakens us in some way and Putin smirks whenever he's in your presence and Russian state media that runs everything past the Kremlin says that you are Putin's moaning, sobbing prison bitch. Ronald Reagan is aerating the entire west coast, he's spinning so fast in his fucking grave.

You are literally an international laughingstock and when you find out about it, you storm off early like a petulant child.

You alienate our allies and cozy up to dictators of hostile nations who still don't show you a bit of respect even after all your kowtowing to them.

You betrayed our allies the Kurds and allowed Erdogan to have his genocide.

When you abruptly pulled our troops out of Syria, you turned over our bases to Russia, who then gleefully posted videos about it.

You left behind 50 nuclear warheads in Incirlik Air Base, essentially making Turkey a nuclear power.

A short, fat idiot named Kim Jong Un puts his footprints all over your back and now he's threatening to send us a missile as a Christmas present. You gave away the farm to him because all you had were bluffs.

You stopped war games on the Korean peninsula because they were too expensive then spent much more than that on a parade that would do a totalitarian dictator proud.

Because you were never told No once in your life except by the occasional woman you'd tried to rape, you flail and scream like a guilty man when the government tries to exercise the slightest bit of oversight on you.
You've cheated on all three of your wives.

Just because no "smocking" gun was ever found proving it, you did collude with Russia, Mueller's report did not exonerate you, Obama's Justice Department did not spy on you, although it should have, and when Russia offered their "help" with the election, which you solicited ("Russia, are you listening?" ring a bell, asswipe?), you did not report them to the FBI as even a morally palsied Republican would be expected to do.

You installed a hack like Bill Barr back into the DOJ to act solely as your personal attorney and he has helped cover up your crimes.

You used campaign funds to pay off a porn star and a Playboy centerfold after your affairs with them and your fixer Michael Cohen took the fall for you.

You installed an alcoholic child rapist named Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court.

You fired a career ambassador, Marie Yovanovitch, because she got in the way of your corrupt, crooked dealings in Ukraine that Giuliani was doing on your behalf.

You broke every campaign promise you ever made. No wall, certainly not one that Mexico's paying for, no new manufacturing jobs.

You declared a nonexistent national emergency, put troops on the border, tear-gassed migrants then stole money from the Pentagon even though migration from Mexico is at alltime lows.

You run concentration camps for migrants that are turning into death camps. They are deprived of medicine, decent food, clean air, bathing facilities and space. Your own lawyer argued before a federal court that soap, toothbrushes and beds were not necessary for the children in our 100+ concentration camps.

The day you threw your dunce cap in the ring, you called Mexicans "criminals and rapists". even though hardly a week goes by when we don't hear of someone in your evangelical base being arrested, charged or convicted of child rape.

You've bankrupted the Secret Service and the American people to the tune of $118,000,000 because of your endless golf outings.

While screaming about Hunter Biden's so-called corruption, you and your spawn are making out like the bandits they are off your so-called "presidency."

You hang out with proven Russian mobsters and at least five known pedophiles, including Jeffrey Epstein.

You defamed at least 17 women who'd accused you of rape or sexual assault.

You poured a glass of wine down the back of the journalist who'd quoted your ex wife Ivana as saying you sleep with Hitler's speeches next to your bed.

You bragged on a hot mic about sexually assaulting women then cried foul when women said you did just that.

You are a pedophile and have been accused raping a 13 year-old girl and a 12 year-old girl.

You are such a fraud, even your hair is dishonest.

You insulted Ted Cruz's wife and father.

You insulted the legacy of John McCain and said the only reason he was considered a hero was because he was shot down.

You even kick people when they're dead and can no longer defend themseves.

Yet your aggression stopped well short of joining the military because of "bone spurs."

You lie on your medical reports and say you're taller and trimmer than you really are. You have a spare tire that came off a semi and you have a neck vagina.

You have told more than 16,000 lies in public since inauguration day because you are simply genetically incapable of telling one fact.

Despite photographic proof, you lied about the size of your inauguration because you couldn't stand the idea that both of Obama's were far bigger.

On inauguration day you bounded into the White House and left your wife in the dust to be consoled by the Obamas because you couldn't wait to start fucking up the country.

Your Obama Derangement Syndrome is such that half of your illegitimate "presidency" is spent doing the opposite of everything he did. The other half is spent fighting off impeachment.

You're the first "president" of modern times who has steadfastly refused to turn over his taxes.

Daddy saved you from bankruptcy countless times because you're such a fuckup then you screamed bloody murder when the "failing New York Times" proved it.

You called for the execution of the Central Park Five even before their trials and still insist they were guilty even when the real culprit fessed up and they were released.

This list isn't even 1% complete.

And this is the man who will beat you if you aren't expelled from office before Election Day: