Phase One 2.0

     I'm half tempted to rename this blog, "Welcome Back to Pedophile Island". I spent much of last month flogging the Epstein story. I'd provided commentary on late-breaking news items regarding the Epstein files and even addressed Katie Johnson herself. Like my MAGA counterparts, I simply wouldn't let this story vanish into the memory hole.

     And, like the creepy girl climbing out of the well again and again in the Ring movies, this is a story that just won't die. As stupid as my aforementioned analogs are, even they're beginning to wake up to the realization that they're being conned, that they were sold a rotten bill of goods. They're beginning to feel like that blind kid in Dumb and Dumber who was handed a decapitated parakeet with its head duct-taped back on.

     It didn't take Republicans long to get back to their rat-fuckery. They just got back to the Hill yesterday after a six week-long vacation courtesy of Mike Johnson and, hours later, they released a tranche of 33,000 documents that were either heavily redacted or was in the public domain. It was Phase One redux.

     You might remember Phase One. It was a truncated series of disclosures that Pam Bondi's staggeringly corrupt Justice Department made last February. They produced a thick printout of so-called Epstein files that were handed out exclusively to MAGA influencers. By the end of the day, even those morons realized they were had and were handed information that had already been in the public domain. They might as well have given them the galley proofs for James Patterson's latest ghost-written novel.

 

     Yesterday, the GOP did the same thing and the parakeet's head fell off yet again. “Their stories are heartbreaking," James Comer piously said yesterday through a flood of crocodile tears, "What they have suffered and endured should never have happened and is sickening.” One half expected him to conclude with vowing to hold impeachment hearings against Clinton, Obama and Biden.

     Also yesterday, Epstein's victims held a large press conference. They immediately saw right through the Republican Party's ruse and promised to compile their own lists. This story's not going away. It has legs long enough to reach up to the North Pole. Let's take stock of how this has played out this year:

     After campaigning on the Epstein files and their disclosure, the White House and its private law firm, aka the Justice Department, has fought tooth and nail to keep these documents from getting out. It started just a month after Bondi was installed as AG. Phase One was handed out to carefully-curated, selected right wing "journalists", which right there should show you how closely they were circling the wagons. 

     Except MAGA didn't play along like they expected. They cried foul and said the documents were already in the public domain. Those idiots literally expected to see pictures of Hillary Clinton drinking the blood of trafficked children in the basement of Ping Pong Comet Pizza. "What gives?" they cried. "Why, O why is the president shielding Democrat pedophiles?"

     Bondi then asks a judge to unseal grand jury documents pertaining to Epstein, knowing damned good and well that such testimony would only provide a small sliver of information not already in the public domain. After six days, the judge, predictably, denied her. Trump fills up his Depends and Foley catheter bag and accuses Obama of making the whole thing up.

     After claiming she had the Epstein client list on her desk, she then said months later that the Epstein list didn't actually exist, which really made MAGAworld erupt. It was the biggest reversal since the 509th Bomber Group went from capturing a flying saucer to a weather balloon in Roswell. "Why is our Republican superhero protecting Democrat pedophiles?! Why won't he pull the trigger on them?"

     Meanwhile, the Republicans in the House had been slow-walking the whole thing. Nonetheless, Republican Thomas Massie and Democrat Ro Khanna, in a rare show of bipartisanship, hollered again and again for the DOJ to release the Epstein client list. 

     Trump filled up his Depends and Foley bag again and called the whole thing a Democrat hoax. After yelling at his MAGA base to shut the fuck up about Epstein, he then goes on a never-ending tirade about the Epstein files. He snarls at them and tells them he doesn't need their support.

     Then we found out Bondi and Blanche told Trump last May he was in the Epstein files. He fills up his Depends and Foley catheter bag yet again. 

     Then we find out that last March, Bondi had pressed 1000 FBI agents to comb through the Epstein files and to flag Trump's name in them.

     Mike Johnson then slides off Trump's lap long enough to kick the can down the road for six weeks and abruptly calls for a six week-long vacation. But the can was at the end of the road patiently waiting for them and Comer and Trump's enablers already had their plan in place. Release some more worthless bullshit and hope MAGA falls for it.

     Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting, well, you know.

     Then, Todd Blanche, Trump's "former" defense attorney, went on a two day fishing expedition in Florida to find out what Ghislaine Maxwell had to say. Despite being in the middle of the Epstein child sex trafficking ring, Maxwell suddenly couldn't remember key details, never took responsibility for anything and assured us that Donald Trump was a perfect gentleman during the countless days and evenings he was the company in the most prolific pedophile in US history.

    "May I have my pardon now?"

    Trump then crows that the twice-convicted for perjury sex trafficker who's clearly angling for a pardon exonerated him. He's not fillingi his Depends and Foley catheter bag so quickly, any more.

     Instead, she got as a consolation prize a transfer to a cushy facility in Texas. 

     And these MAGA morons still haven't connected the dots and they haven't seen Trump as the guilty man he is. Yes, there may be some Democrats on Epstein's list but if Trump takes them down, he'll go down with them and he knows it.

      Trump is so guilty even that blind kid holding the dead, headless parakeet can see it.