Sunday, February 17, 2019

Gotham City Digest: Emergency edition

(Where we will never withhold the safe word from you.)

     I hate to make it sound as if I'm making light of this because I'm certainly not. But the NYPD is literally the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight. They shot two of their own in Queens Wednesday night and killed one who was less than a year from retirement. And not only does this mock the old NRA canard of "the good guy with a gun", it also begs the question of the standards of marksmanship in the NYPD not to mention the very faulty judgment of officers firing wildly into a building in which the suspect couldn't've possibly been firing at them because he had a fake gun.

     I wonder how long it'll take Trump to ask Shorty for his trade secrets in prison escapes.

     This article goes back nearly a year but it certainly doesn't detract from the fact that Dolly's a very nice lady for doing this for children from coast to coast, and beyond that, over the last two decades. What's there not to admire about a champion of literacy? We need many more people like her to put books in kids' hands.

     Well, the Blue Sky Grill in Richmond Heights, Missouri gets my vote as the most racist restaurant in America.

     Racist white Wisconsin lawmakers whitesplain to black colleagues how Black History Month should be observed by forcing Milwaukee native Colin Kaepernick's name off the list. And speaking of whom...

     Wouldn't it have just been cheaper to let Kaep play in the NFL these last two years as a backup quarterback? And while we're still on the subject...

     White right winger puts himself out of business over boycott of Nike products, is still glad he did it. These people really are no different from the original Nazis. They're all true believers to the very bitter, flaming end.
     And the moral of the story, boys and girls? If you stand with racism and Donald Trump, you will lose lots of money and become a jobless bum. If you stand (or kneel) with Kaep, you win. Like Nike, whose stock shot up over 30% since the Kaepernick ad.

     Brilliant historical revisionism from the Trump-humping lunatic fringe of the far right. Today's class: How Martin Luther King killed himself with a high-powered bullet fired from hundreds of feet away.

     Meanwhile, Il Douche had this to say in El Paso Monday night.
     Blah blah blah wall blah blah blah executing babies blah blah blah socialism blah blah blah Clinton blah blah blah no collusion blah blah blah...

     When Florida turns into Baghdad.

     So, what do Roger Stone, Lyndon LaDouche, Putin and the Queen of England have in common?

     This 21 year-old Iraqi woman, a rape survivor, won the Nobel Peace Prize to the deafening silence of the mainstream media. But what did soak up all the press?

     A man who murders immigrants at the border and Yemen wanders into Rose Garden and claims Shinzo Abe nominated him for a Nobel Peace Prize. Hilarity ensues when it's revealed that Trump's flunkies essentially pressured Abe into nominating him.

      Let's get one thing straight- Massive tax cuts for the super wealthy, banks and corporations don't create jobs, they KILL jobs. We saw this during the bailout a decade ago. Banks got billions, staff got cut, lending slowed to a crawl, shareholders and bank executives got a massive payout.
      Now we're seeing the same thing all over again. Banks got a $21,000,000,000 windfall, staff got cut, lending slowed to a crawl, shareholders and bank executives got a massive payout.
      When the fuck are we going to realize this. Doesn't. Work? We should do what Iceland did- Jail the bankers and bail out their victims.

     You want to get back your tax refund? No problem! Just buy your own private jet!

     I love these domino effects. First New Mexico, now California.

     206 days since a judge ordered those migrant kids to be reunified with their parents. The Trump administration is basically thumbing their noses at the federal judiciary at this point.

     So while everyone is lathering themselves up over what Ilhan Omar said about AIPAC, there was this...

     This is why we need teachers and decent education in this country. So inbred, right wing fat fucks like this don't get elected to public office.

     "Next C-SPAN caller is Linda from the bunker. Linda, you're on the air..."

      It would be a lot easier if he just came out and said, "I fucking hate dogs, alright? The loyalty thing I can get into but not from mutts, OK?"
      Historical fact: The Obamas weren't the first First Family to own a dog.

     Meanwhile, elsewhere in our wonderfully post-racial society... A 21 year-old black man was shot to death for Sleeping While Black.

      Well, Trump's 4th Reich thinks at least one black thing is beautiful: Coal.
      Meanwhile, a few months later at the Oval Office:
      "Trump, this is Murray! What the fuck is this I hear about TVA shutting down two coal-firing plants?"
      "It's fake news, Bob. Don't believe everythin' ya hear."
      "Fake news? You stupid orange cunt! I shoveled $300,000 into your fucking inaugural fund months after you were sworn in and this is what I get for my bribe? Now I can't sell my coal to them!"
      "Don't worry, Bob. I'll make a deal. I make great deals, the best deals."
      "You fucking asshole, you'd better! Don't forget who you REALLY work for!!" (hangs up)
      "White House kitchen? Send me a dozen Big Macs. It's gonna be a long day."

     Republicans stealing from Republicans? Wha-what? No honor among thieves?

     Only Paul Manafort would be stupid enough to queer a sweetheart deal that he never deserved in the first place by lying to the FBI, Mueller and the grand jury.

     For-profit outfits such as Geo Group and CoreCivic use slave labor then overcharge the prisoners on essentials they should be providing for nothing.

     Elliot Abrams really is lower than earthworm shit. If there's an American war criminal still alive, Trump WILL give them an appointment. And if there's one thing more despicable than a war criminal, it's one who has his killing and raping done for him by proxy.
     And should you need any more justification for my calling Elliot Abrams "lower than earthworm shit", consider his role during Iran Contra as a bag man.

     Fun fact: Mississippi didn't abolish slavery until six years ago.

     At least SOMEBODY at the DOJ had some sense.

     Like father, like spawn.

     Amazon just decided to pull out of the Long Island City Queens deal. Good. Who the fuck needs you, Bezos? I really love my native borough more than ever.
      So, how can Amazon walk away from three billion dollars in tax breaks? It's easy if your valuation is nearly a trillion dollars and you pay a -1% tax rate.

     Try to count all the things that are wrong with what Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez reports in this one tweet. Let me start:
     1) Lobbyists think they're entitled to see lawmakers first.
     2) But they're too lazy to stand in line like everyone else.
     3) They're using the homeless like human sawhorses so they don't lose their place in line.

     Is irony dead or is the RCC and everyone else just blind to it? A priest was forced to resign after he was accused of soliciting for sex during confession. I guess it's a thing.

     Of course Mitch was caught funneling money to an offshore bank account. What did you expect from a right wing scumbag who married into a drug-smuggling family?

     The godly Mike Pence sucked into a $107,000,000 coverup scheme?

     Yes, we've criminalized Speaking While Hispanic.

     So, ABC asked Trump what outside conservatives influenced his decision to declare a state of emergency. So of course, he mentioned nearly everyone on Fox then said Ann Coulter was "off the reservation."
      As expected a Three Mile Island-class meltdown on Coulter's Twitter feed followed within minutes.

      Trump: "We have to build a wall to protect us from rapists."
      Also Trump: “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

     Imagine if Hitler or Mussolini or Stalin got fact-checked live on international TV. This would have been the result.

     Judge Amy Berman Jackson is the gift that just keeps on giving. And finally...

     "Everyone, we have a crisis at the southern border! Women are getting raped, wrapped in duct tape and smuggled in through prayer rugs, policemen are getting shot left and right, aliens are coming over in droves and stuffing tons of drugs over the border, there's rotting corpses everywhere!
     "Now I'm gonna go play golf over the weekend."


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