Trump's 2024 Bid Is the Speed 2 of Campaigns

 (By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari)

Some things should never be sequelized or attempted to be improved upon. New Coke. Speed 2. Or Trump's latest campaign. And Trump's 2024 bid for president, his fifth, is the Speed 2 of presidential campaigns.

    The original Speed, with Keanu Reeves, was indisputably one of the greatest action movies of the 90s. But when Reeves, before he decided to reprise virtually every role he ever played, decided not to appear in the sequel, the producers should've known better than to cast Jason Patric and just trust that Sandra Bullock would carry the movie. Not even her beauty and Willem Dafoe's bug-eyed theatrics could salvage that wreck.

     It was obvious from the gitgo that the entire movie was made just to show the ocean liner crashing onto shore at the end. It was, after all, part of the Speed franchise. And it seems Donald Trump is taking the ending of that abortive effort to heart, whether or not he knows it, because his campaign is essentially doing the same thing as the ocean liner- Crashing its opulence into a neighborhood whether or not it wants it.    

     This is the Trump Train, permanently off its rails, preventing people from leaving when they saw the wheels were no longer on the rails. The crash comes every time Trump posts something on Truth Social, namely a video. These tend to be third rate guerilla marketing projects if done by middle schoolers. They're always off-script. In every one, there's a few seconds of alleged edginess shot by camera two, making it look as if Trump's looking into the wrong camera.

     Today's video was a masterclass in full-blown megalomania, with him spending literally the last half referring to himself in the third person, even referring to himself as "him". Another half minute of that drivel, he would've started using the definite article and referring to himself as "the Trump." Honk, hoooonk, here I come. There goes another neighborhood.

     But it's not the same this time around. The man who'd once mobilized thousands to the Capitol on January 6th, 2021 couldn't muster more than a half a dozen to assemble in front of Trump Tower right after his indictment was announced. It could be said most of his fair weather supporters didn't want to meet the same fate as their J6 predecessors. It could even be said they didn't want to get injured or killed over Stormy Daniels.

     But the plain fact is no one wants to get arrested, injured or killed over Trump, any more, especially when they're very mindful that he pardoned not a single rioter. He's lost his mojo. The groove is not coming back to Orange Stella.

     So he gives withered versions of his 2016 rallies, depending heavily on tight shots and carefully-assembled human scenery in the background. Being black and seen at a Trump rally is guaranteed to get you a spot so you can see Trump's fat ass and the back of his ridiculous combover for the next two hours.

     Honk! Ready or not, here I come! Crash!

     Honey, what else is on tonight?