Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Prehistoric Misanthrope Tamed by Love

Everyone who's known me for five minutes knows that I'm a marriage-minded guy. After all, I was raised in a loosely Catholic household, therefore it only follows the idea of being a hubby to a loving wife is the most appealing thing in the world. But the question remains: Is he husband material? Well, one gal in Vero Beach, Florida thinks so and she's agreed to marry me.

We've been sitting on top of this for some time and I know what some of you are going to say. It's too early. You're rebounding. You must be crazy for marrying someone you've never met. All good points and duly noted.

But I don't look upon this as being a rebound relationship because I've proven to be more emotionally disentangled than I'd hitherto believed I'd be. And, since the monastic, celibate life was never for me, it just makes sense to recruit from within the ranks, so to speak.

Therefore, I take great joy and pride and announcing that my girlfriend Barbara Peters and I are getting married. She's one of my longtime readers and I was hardly even aware of her until early this past spring when life was so chaotic and thick for me. When things began settling down, we'd begun corresponding every way we could and very quickly fell very deeply in love. I guess she had a head start because she's been an admirer of mine for years.

Barb's unforgivably liberal, is frequently tempted to visit violence on stupid, willfully ignorant right wingers (but I'm being needlessly tautological here) and fully intends on defending her man to the death if need be. She could easily wind up as a contributor here at Pottersville Central, even though she hardly leaves comments.

Long story short, it was virtually love at first byte and at some indeterminate time in the future, Barb will be moving up to live with me (for the first few days after she gets here, posting will be nonexistent to no fucking way, hee hee hee). We're probably looking at an August/September wedding at the earliest. So if anyone will be in the central Mass area around that time, my baby and I would sure love to have you.

So, bottom line, this old dinosaur's pussy-whipped for good, so my future wife's carnal affections ought to take the edge off my characteristically nasty screeds...



At May 19, 2009 at 4:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Best of Everything to the both you in your Bright Future.

At May 19, 2009 at 6:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you two even seen each other in person yet?

At May 19, 2009 at 7:08 PM, Blogger Libby Spencer said...

WOW. I adore an good love story. Congrats and all the best in the future.

At May 19, 2009 at 7:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW! It seems just days ago you were hoping and willing to save your former relationship.

At May 19, 2009 at 7:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

JP, JP, JP........
sigh....good luck.

At May 19, 2009 at 7:41 PM, Blogger glogrrl said...

I never figured you for a cockeyed optimist, but.........congratulations to you and your girl. Just keep on blogging and sticking it to the Rethugs.

At May 19, 2009 at 10:07 PM, Anonymous George W. Bush said...

So,if it were not for your blogging....

Ya see people,I really are/is a UNITER!!!

At May 20, 2009 at 12:26 AM, Blogger Marla said...


At May 20, 2009 at 12:44 AM, Anonymous Tengrain said...

Congrats to you, and my condolances to the Mrs.

Just teasing.

My friend Boxer at Boxer Rebellion virtually fell in love with the Gourmet Goddess and they have happily co-habitated for probably close to a year now. He move out of Dixie to live with her somewhere in the Midwest, gave up his career, the works. And as it worked for him, I hope that it works for you.

You've paid your dues, dude.



At May 20, 2009 at 1:10 AM, Anonymous ShortWoman said...

I wish you both much happiness. Hey, if you decide to get hitched in Vegas, ping me. I'll witness for you!

At May 20, 2009 at 2:45 AM, Blogger Stan B. said...

A very sincere best of luck to you and yours! Dang, practically heart warming...

At May 20, 2009 at 5:41 AM, Blogger Hill said...

Congratulations!Love really is a good thing.


At May 20, 2009 at 10:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will "the douchebag" be attending your wedding.

And gosh, for a guy who is "disentangled" you sure cursed "this family" when they decided they didn't need a full-time blogger in the house.
But really, since women are here to help you with your "redemption", I'm glad you found one who agrees to it.
And "Babrbara" is a nicer name than "douchebag", in my opinion, anyway.
Good luck. I met my wife when my dog ran into her yard to play with hers. We got married, and when I found out, about a year later, that she had shot her first husband, our marriage became truly permanent. Who "redeemed" who?

At May 20, 2009 at 2:50 PM, Anonymous Diva said...

Everyone has a soulmate, kiddo. I wish you all the best.

At May 20, 2009 at 3:34 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Anon: I really wish you wouldn't refer to her in such a way. Please refrain from doing in the future.

And, no, I don't merely regard women as being instrumental to my redemption, if such a thing is possible. That's just one or two steps removed from misogynism.

At May 20, 2009 at 11:04 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

All the best to Barbara and you, you big lug.8^D

At May 21, 2009 at 1:25 AM, Blogger Alicia Morgan said...

Yay! Enjoy this happiness - it's time!

At May 22, 2009 at 5:46 PM, Blogger LanceThruster said...

Wow! Way cool. If it weren't for the fact that you're a hell of a nice guy and deserving of much happiness, I'd be quite envious.

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

At May 23, 2009 at 7:04 PM, Blogger Jill said...

The intartoobz are a wonderful thing. And stranger things have happened. I met Mr. Brilliant lo these twenty-six years ago through a mutual contact in 'zine culture, which was the predecessor to blogging. We were instantly smitten because we each knew who the Wooleyburger was and we both listened to the Firesign Theatre. That, my friend, is what's called a Basis for a marriage. I wish you as much success as I've had.


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