Open Letter to the Dying
What follows below is part of the text of what was originally a private email to a friend of mine in the UK who's dying of a brain tumor. He's a sweet boy, a college-educated John Ruskin scholar who somehow had become one of my erstwhile readers when he has the strength to read my often manic, semi-hysterical polemics.
Then it occurred to me that many of the things I was saying to him should have also been said to those who've made my life the most miserable. So, with my friend's permission, I've decided to turn this screed into an open letter so several other people who used to be loved ones know my state of mind and so you the readers at work and home know something about what's been going on behind the hilarious and fun-filled scenes here at Pottersville.
I knew that the letter I actually wanted to directly write my ex would surely result in yet another trip to the police dept, during which she just as surely would've disingenuously claimed fear of her life. Who knows, she might even succeed in getting the same hack jurist who phoned it in last time to phone another restraining order in. Maybe that one would stick. Either way, it never ceases to amaze me to what degrees our local criminal justice system and constabulary will go to feed this obviously insane woman's unfounded and undocumented delusions.
So I'm counting on her ongoing stalking of my online activities and that of her associates to get wind of this. And let the chips fall where they may. This is still America, this is still my place and I refuse to suffer in silence, anymore. This ongoing situation is eating away at my soul like the cancer eating away at my English friend. It's affecting my relationship with my new g/f, I lost my last real world friend when I told her I was sick and tired of her taking that harpy's side time and again and, as always, my few remaining friends and Pottersville are my only outlets.
I'm so sorry that things are sliding downhill for your family. I've been thinking about you every day and worrying every day, of course, that I don't hear from you. My life's taken some horrible turns since last winter but nothing to compare with yours. Sometimes, we all need to hear real horror stories so we can get some much-needed perspective and to realign and reappraise how persecuted we truly are in the universe.
Yet, that said, the presumption of guilt until innocence is proven turns on its head something we got from you chaps called the Magna Carta, something that became a quaint notion under the Bush regime. Her restraining order got overturned about 15 hours after she took it out when the judge found no merit to her claim of being in danger of her life. She acted like a bawling idiot when the judge made his ruling. The judge whom the police dept. called the night before literally phoned it in without learning anything about my own past (which contains no history whatsoever of domestic or any other type of violence). His signature wasn't even on the restraining order.
Then, later that day, undeterred, she goes out and gets a No Trespassing order barring me from going to her house. It's like a restraining order except that, unlike the previous order, there's no chance for appeal, no evidence is needed to justify a barring from the premises and it remains, I'm told, in effect in perpetuity (restraining orders have to be renewed once a year). If I go on her property, I can still get arrested.
And she's doing this for no reason other than keeping me from her grandson, something she's been piously telling me she's not doing nor will ever do. It utterly doesn't faze her how much he loves me (The day before she got the restraining order, she likened me to the neighbor's dog, downplaying his feelings for me). She's become so sick, twisted and ugly for some unaccountable reason that she and everyone else is willing to take the love, joy and happiness that that little boy derives from spending time with me.
Yet the self-centered, right wing, two-timing, racist psychopath who began dating my 17 y/o step daughter as a 21 y/o man gets a marriage license and marries into that same family while I got a restraining and No Trespass order as if I'm the dangerous one, as if I was the one stalking around that house threatening with violence anyone who even looked at me cross-eyed, as if I cheated on her with two women and then went after a third that didn't even exist. If I live to be a million, D**** boy, I will never, ever be able to wrap my fucking mind around that.
Anyway, keep me in your thoughts as much as your distracted mind will allow. You know I love you and worry about you.