Day of the Locust II

Personally, I cannot understand for the life of me why Sarah Palin was at one of those disgusting Academy Awards gifting suites that were once featured on The Sopranos. Yeah, yeah, we've heard the cover story that she just happened to be in Tinseltown and that she intended on auctioning off whatever she and her entourage of 20 grabbed two hours before the suite opened to the rest of the landed gentry plus donating $1700 of her own money to the Red Cross to help Haitian and Chilean earthquake victims.

When practicing charity, after all, one ought to do it without publicity. Especially when the charity never happens.

Says Eonline, a place I never thought in a million years I'd ever link to:

The Fox News contributor and one-time vice presidental hopeful showed up to Silver Spoon's Oscar Suite in West Hollywood yesterday, benefiting the Red Cross.

But like all politicians, Sarah and her crew were hardly gems when the cameras weren't rolling...

"They were like locusts," says one vendor at the suite, regarding Palin and her large group of hangers-on. "She showed up with like 20 people, and they immediately swarmed the place taking everything!"

S.P. was accompanied by daughter Willow, grandson Tripp and a bunch of female handlers. A source at the suite said Palin was stopping in while daughter Bristol was doing a photo shoot nearby.

We're told Palin was quite the prima donna and that she insisted the suite be opened two hours early so she could come when no looky-loos would be around.

"They told us last minute to get here superearly for [Palin]," says our rightfully annoyed source. "Then, she wouldn't let anyone take her picture or do any interviews."

For those of you who think that's a standard request—uh, it's not, especially when you're getting thousands of dollars worth of free goods. Some of the products Palin picked up included Bloom facial products, which she told the vendor she needed for her under-eye area.

"She said she always needed to look her best because she's always in the press," says a Bloom spokesperson.

But don't think Sarah stopped there.

Palin grabbed some oversize sweatshirts and tie-dyed "jeggings" for Bristol, got a blowout by colorist Erick Orellana from the Chris McMillan Salon, along with snatching up jewelry from Pascal Mouawad, Skagen Watches, Lash Food and 40 pairs of Aiaiai headphones.

A spokesperson for Aiaiai tells us Sarah said "they would be great for working out."

But was Sarah just grabby 'n' whiny for a good cause? The press release for the suite states Palin gave over $1,700 dollars to the Red Cross and planned to donate what she received at the suite to charity.

Oh, really?

Too fab she gave money, but we can assure you she did not give up any of her swag.

We're sure she'll get around to donating all her acquired goods to charity, right about the time she donates her wardrobe the RNC bought her. Remember that one? Even John McCain spilled that bit o' benevolence never happened.

Once again, I'm reminded of Republicans latching like Alabama ticks onto any worthy cause like the census or movement like the Tea Party pretending to be doing the good work only to have it revealed that they're just in it for pure, porcine party or personal greed. Here's the shopping list that Sarah Barracuda probably had written on her grasping hand:

Grab Kenya dress.

Scarf up 40 pairs of Aiaiai headphones for working out.

Get lots of Bloom facial products.

Donate proceeds to Red Cross Fuck Haiti and Chile.

To get back to the Sopranos for a moment: Remember the episode that featured the gifting suites, the one co-starring Ben Kingsley? Remember Tony's boys going Old School and mugging Lauren Bacall for her bag?

That's what we should've done to that aging cunt Palin and her hangers on and left her well-toned ass in a gutter at Hollywood and Vine or, better yet, in the La Brea Tar Pits where it belongs.

Piss on her and her group of subparasites as they sink in the muck and mire.

Fade to black.

The end.

Cut.