Visitation Rights

In the midst of an ongoing battle between Mitt Romney and the IRS over the custody of his fortune (I'll give you a guess who's winning that one and it ain't Uncle Sam), Willard decided to visit his money overseas and, oh yeah, try to squeeze in some time for world leaders too embarrassed to be seen in public with him in order to burnish nonexistent foreign policy credentials that not even Sarah Palin would cop to.

Willard's invasion of the Court of St. James has been, let's euphemistically say, an unqualified clusterfuck in every sense of the word. First, he sniffs that the London Olympics' progress regarding security and other matters had been disconcerting and, let's face it, he's right. The private security firm that the Olympic Committee contracted to do the job waited until a few weeks before the opening ceremonies before fessing up to the fact that they. oops, don't have as many people as they promised. Adding to the fascist element unseen since 1936, Great Britain had to import 1200 military troops to make up the shortfall. Furthermore, they had to resort to an injunction to stop a threatened airport strike. And in perhaps the most despicable turn of all, not that Willard would have a problem with this, 286 "brand police" are fanning out across England during the Games looking for vendors who are violating copyright laws for simply using the words "Olympics", "summer", "2012", "gold", "bronze" and "silver."

And these copyright protections were put in place by an Act of Parliament way back in 2006 to protect the 40+ official sponsors for the Games. In short, the Great British, to quote W, who also embarrassed us with his drunken antics in Beijing four years ago, cared more about copyright security for their corporate employers, and got it years in advance, than they had the security of their people.

Sure, the London Olympics is a squeaking, cum-smeared, fascist clusterfuck, designed to simultaneously enrich and coddle already obscenely bloated corporations, thereby turning the actual sporting events into an afterthought, the dried out, stale little square of bubble gum that used to come with the trading cards. We all know this.

But you don't walk into a host country and insult your hosts even if it is the truth.

And this was just the first many, many faux pas committed by Camp Willard. He'd also admitted to, perhaps hoping to catch a glimpse of John Cleese, meeting with the head of MI6, which is never publicly discussed and, whether or not he actually said that our "Anglo Saxon heritage" puts us more on the same page with the British, unlike that darkish guy in the White House, one can perfectly imagine Willard saying it and that's his problem.

His very racism, enhanced by the occasional "you people" balcony pronouncement from his wife Queen Ann, makes such a statement, however apocryphal, very plausible. If he were actually possessed of any discernible human qualities, Mitt Romney would be the very personification of the rich white man who has thoroughly and completely ruined this planet in their never ending viral quest for riches, dominion and primacy.

And his arrival in London just prior to the Opening Ceremonies (in which we'll be prancing in ridiculous costumes made by Chinese sweatshop laborers, not that Willard would have a problem with that, either, since he probably gave them those jobs while retroactively at Bain) isn't a coincidence. Basically, Mitt's acting like a man who's on the 51st year of the best four years of his life by trying to blow his trumpet and steal England's thunder by saying, "I managed an Olympics, too, you know!" then insulting his hosts for their relative lack of security. Something else I'm sure Willard never mentioned were, after promising transparency, the shredding and disappearance of all the Salt Lake City records at the hands of his right hand man and former Bain henchman Fraser Bullock (all after his non-retroactive resignation). Or how he denied free tickets to the surviving families of 9/11 victims and gave the ducats, instead, to several well-connected right wing Utah politicians.


Gee, I can't imagine why Cameron snubbed him and refused to be seen with him at the famous door at #10 Downing Street, leaving Romney neglected and alone to plastically preen at the entrance looking like a Fuller brush salesman who just got told to piss off by the 86th homeowner that day.

Perhaps he'll get a better reception in Jerusalem, although it's hard to see how he'd be able to establish anything other than a right wing political alliance since Judaism and Romney's cult have less than zero in common.

Essentially, Romney, in a few short hours, had already embarrassed our nation abroad for the first time since before 2009 when You Know Who was allegedly in charge. Romney made us look like the loud, arrogant, Ugly American and one has to wonder what his foreign policy would actually be as president when he cannot even resonate with his fellow Anglo Saxon rich white men.