Sunday, September 30, 2012

If Fox News Was Around in 1964


Open Thread: Shill Section edition

Don't feel like blogging this weekend, plus it can't be said the level of participation I've gotten here (which isn't required but is welcome and expected) has been conducive to whatever masochistic muse that inspires political bloggers. For now, just look at this sign at a recent Romney rally then check out this story from southern Virginia and remind yourself, "These lunatics also have the right to vote." I'll see y'all tomorrow... maybe.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Assclowns of the Week #93: You Da Bomb! edition

Well, the silly season is once again upon us and by that, I don't mean the Christmas holidays. And as looney tunes as election years typically are, I never thought I'd live to see the day when the Republican nominee for President would #1 allegedly be called "The Stench" and #2 by his own running mate and #3 when that same running mate is code-named by the top of the ticket as "Gilligan." (Pure satire, as Roger Simon, the meme's originator, assures us).

And it was a typical, Looney Toons week in teh Qrazy Qaeda Quadrant. We saw Paul Ryan (10) drag Momma from the train and onto the campaign trial; Rush Limbaugh (8) for feeling a little insignificant these days; Bennie Netanyahu (1) and his curious artwork correspondence class at the UN and Willard "the Stench" Romney (2, 3) for channeling Bush and Reagan in the most disastrous CBS interview since Palin/Couric. So check into the Romney OR (Omnibus of Regressivism) as we review this week's crop of right wing assclowns and much, much more!

10) Paul "Gilligan" Ryan
Last week, Rep. Paul Ryan (not to be confused with the Ryan Gilligan of soccer fame) went to Louisiana, dragging along his 78 year-old mother as human scenery, then had the nerve to tell the AARP members in attendance that he was going to repeal ObamaCare. Well, they roundly booed him, which Ryan immediately tried to spin as "a mixed reaction." Meanwhile, as other 78 year-old mothers booed her son, Mommy beamed as can only the mother of a multimillionaire son who can ensure that she'll never need Medicare or "ObamaCare."

Using his mother as window dressing was bottomlessly despicable. To outdo that, Ryan would have to drag along his black ex girlfriend to tell the NAACP that he was going to repeal the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Nine years ago, even professional scumbag Billy Tauzin didn't bring his mother along when he told Congress that nobody loved their mommy more than he did his. Sadly, the right wing has actually degenerated since Tauzin's Norman Bates speech.

 9) Scott Brown & His Supporters
Last week in both Boston and Chatham, Massachusetts, Scott Brown supporters who obviously can't point to their man's slender legislative record in the US Senate took to mocking Elizabeth Warren's Cherokee Indian heritage by making war whoops and tomahawk chopping motions. As Brown said, he can't control all his supporters but they were merely reacting to Brown doubling down on a fact he didn't have the balls to even broach during last Thursday's debate with Warren: Questioning her native American heritage.

Brown's responsible for setting the bar very low in this election's discourse and has no right feigning shock that his supporters would similarly carry that racist narrative into the streets of Massachusetts. Of course, this bar-lowering is set by a guy who ran as a Tea Bagger favorite when the Tea Baggers briefly had a bit of juice only to run, two years later, as a moderate devoted to bipartisanship when he realized the astroturfers couldn't get him re-elected. For good measure, Mr. Staple-in-the-Crotch then warned both sides to remain civil and respectful. What can Brown do for me? Get the fuck out of the Senate after a speedy concession speech.

8) Rush "10%" Limbaugh
Speaking of, ahem, "lowering the bar", the terrifyingly sex-obsessed Rush Limbaugh played his part by complaining that "feminazis" have decreased penis size in America by 10%. Perhaps Rush's second-hand Viagra is past its shelf life or he just has sensitive marital issues he's dying to share with the rest of the class. Or perhaps he's personally measured every penis in America. Either way, Rusty Nail was singing the cowboy blues about his sill bolt being turned into a tacking nail by saying this on his radio show a week ago:
I think it's feminism… it's tied to the last 50 years - the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years - it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.
Yes, folks, thanks partly to Cape Girardeau, Missouri's most notable export, the bar for the national discourse has now sunk so low the most malleable munchkin couldn't even place or show in a limbo contest. 

7) Todd Akin

Congressman Combover (aka Todd Akin) will have to try a lot harder before he can top the "legitimate rape" comment from this past summer. But his explanation to a constituent as to why he'd voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay Act was good enough to get him on the back half of this list. To quote Akin,
I believe in free enterprise. I don’t think the government should be telling people what you pay and what you don’t pay. I think it’s about freedom. If someone (wants) to hire somebody and they agree on a salary, that’s fine, however it wants to work. So, the government sticking its nose into all kinds of things has gotten us into huge trouble.
Wow. No wonder Akin's own pollster compared her boss to cult leader David Koresh.

In other words, let's once again trust the free market to do the right thing and to give them a chance to pay women equally just as we trusted them to not employ children or force people to work in hazardous environments and to pay non-union workers a fair, living wage. And what is with this nonsense of forcing companies to provide handrails on high catwalks? Emergency exits? Handicapped ramps?! Sprinkler systems and fire extinguishers? Seriously???

If you think that's good enough to keep him out of the Senate, think again. Nearly two and a half years ago, Rand Paul (R-Aqua Buddha) said on the Rachel Maddow Show the day after winning the KY Senate GOP primary that he'd love to repeal at least part of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. That was because it was an example of government impinging on free enterprise, i.e. the right of racist, white business owners to refuse service to people based on the color of their skin. Paul, as if you need me to remind you, is now serving the Kentucky coal industry in the Senate.

What's next? Repealing laws banning murder because that would be Uncle Sam impinging on knife and gun sales as well as the rights of maniacs with histrionic gifts?

6) The Republican Party of Florida
Amid a lot of hoarse screaming and fake paranoia about voter fraud, it turns out the Florida GOP and a Romney-affiliated firm they'd hired to get out the vote is turning in so many fraudulent registration forms, the scandal has now spread to no less than 10 counties in the Sunshine State. And that's just the beginning. Quoth the LA Times:
The controversy in Florida -- which began with possibly fraudulent forms that first cropped up in Palm Beach County --  has engulfed the Republican National Committee, which admitted Thursday that it urged state parties in seven swing states to hire the firm, Strategic Allied Consulting. The RNC paid the company at least $3.1 million -- routed through the state parties of Florida, Nevada, Colorado, North Carolina and Virginia -- to register voters and run get-out-the-vote operations. Wisconsin and Ohio had not yet paid the firm for get-out-the-vote operations it was contracted to do.
Well, who knew that this could happen after climbing in bed with a notorious Republican bag o' sleaze like Nathan Sproul? Well, everyone, apparently:
The firm appears to be another shell company of Nathan Sproul, a longtime, notorious Republican operative, hired year after year by GOP Presidential campaigns, despite being accused of shredding Democratic voter registration forms in a number of states over several past elections.
The firm is not only tied to the FL GOP, but also to the Mitt Romney Campaign, which hired Sproul as a political consultant late last year, despite years of fraud allegations against his organizations in multiple states.

5) Beth Meyers & Camp Willard

Shorter Beth Meyers: "Our man is a 98 lb weakling and can't debate and the President will be a mean bully and kick sand in his face, make him eat worms and his own scabs and make him look like the social retard he is. Meanie!"

Early on Friday (of course), senior Romney campaign adviser Beth Meyers (no clear relation to the Meyers of Haddonfield) said we should lower our expectations regarding the first presidential debate between Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama. But there were other expectations that Meyers warned us we should lower as the campaign reaches the home stretch. What were they?

  • 10) If elected president, Romney's annual physical may not show strains of human DNA.
  • 9) May not consider it his job to pardon Thanksgiving turkey if it was raised by a 47% farm.
  • 8) Romney may not have time to get to the bottom in his eight year "Top to Bottom" economic recovery plan.
  • 7) Slight chance of showing up at first debate wearing a Mariachi costume and a Chihuahua on his arm.
  • 6) Ann Romney's ongoing attempt to "humanize" her husband will consist of nothing more than a vague pledge not to engage in ritual human sacrifices of welfare recipients at Bohemian Grove and Bilderberg Group meetings.
  • 5) Release of full tax returns going back to 1990 may show takeover, "harvesting" and subsequent bankruptcy of at least three lemonade stands.
  • 4) Effective immediately, to cease and desist attempts to humanize Romney by endlessly "rebooting" campaign.
  • 3) Concentrate on Romney's "virtually life-like" appeal.
  • 2) Will try to talk Ann Romney out of biting and spitting on the 47% at rope lines.
  • 1) Romney campaign giving up hope that candidate will be able to shake "the Reaper" nickname.

  • 4) Right Wingers
    In an audacious paroxysm of projection, right wingers led by Rush Limbaugh did a 180 and, instead of accusing Democrats and progressive GOTV organizations of stuffing ballot boxes, they're actually accusing pollsters of trying to (I'll finish typing this sentence as soon as I finish laughing)... suppressing Republican votes! Sez Eric Boehlert:
    Just as left-leaning community organizers at ACORN were selected as unlikely scapegoats for John McCain's loss in 2008, pollsters today have been tapped by the far right as conniving conspirators in cahoots with Democrats to seal another election for Obama.
    Recall that four years ago little-known ACORN was allegedly trying to flood ballot boxes with fraudulent votes...  This year, instead of producing too many votes, pollsters are allegedly doing the opposite - making sure fewer people cast a ballot on Election Day. Teaming up with the media, pollsters are suppressing the vote by concocting phony results; by skewing the data. That drumbeat of results is supposedly designed to "depress Republican enthusiasm," which in turn hands victories to the Democrats.
    The reason, of course, for this sudden venomous attack on pollsters (which, apparently, includes the right wing Rasmussen people that most recently put Obama one point up on Romney) is that they consistently show Romney to be unpopular. Romney? Unlikable? That's unpossible!

    The supreme irony, as we all know, is that if anyone's to be blamed for suppressing Republican enthusiasm, it's not the pollsters but Romney, himself, a man who was recently pronounced by David "I'm finally tiring of the taste of Republican jism" Brooks himself as "the least popular candidate in history."

    3) Willard "14%" Romney
    As further proof that Mitt Romney (R-Power Windows) can fight his way out of a bag of Cheetos...

    On 60 Minutes last Sunday, Willard told Scott Pelley it was perfectly fair that a hypothetical guy making $50,000 a year should pay a higher tax rate than a guy like Romney, who made about $20,000,000 last year and paid a rate that was (temporarily) just under the maximum capital gains rate of 15% because that's how you spur economic growth. In other words, let's give Trickle Down Economics another chance and we'll promise to create jobs this time. Really, we mean it. No, really.

    Elsewhere in the interview, poor Pelley had to hear Willard repeat the old George W. Bush line that everyone has medical care: All they need do is walk into an emergency room where the cost of that short-term health care is literally ten times what it would cost someone with insurance. Plus, RomneyCare in Massachusetts was based on the unfavorable proposition that uninsured people would go to the ER for medical care. Because spreading those liabilities around to the taxpayer would be (gasp) income redistribution! Socialized medicine!

    2) Willard "The Stench" Romney
    Cynics and others in the reality-based community finally got some validation in their suspicions about Willard's tax returns when the campaign released 2011's filings, which were retroactively amended. Why were they retroactively amended and how could that be done? Apparently, after you file your taxes, you have up to three years to "amend" them. Specifically, this means (provided if you're in the 1%) you can pull a Willard and not claim $1.75 m in charitable deductions, thereby artificially bloating your taxable income rate so it'll look as if you actually paid more than the 9-10% that the Romneys actually would've paid if they'd claimed all their "charitable" deductions. (The 2011 returns also didn't give anything but an abstract overview as to his business holdings in foreign countries such as China and the Caymans which, as one notable pundit reported, was mentioned on 28 different pages of the return.)

    It was a classic bait-and-switch game that temporarily makes the Romneys look like they're on the hook for a whopping 14.1% tax rate, thereby temporarily making Mitt look as if he was telling the truth about never paying less than 13%. Then, after the campaign, when no one's looking, Mitt will then claim the other $1.75 m in deductions and get a nice, fat, extra $500,000 payday courtesy of you, the Taxpayer. Nice, huh? Like money in the bank, only non-taxable. Romney once said if he'd paid more in taxes than the law stipulated, he'd be unqualified to run for president. In the minds of many, anyone worth more than a quarter billion dollars who pays a tax rate lower than, say, an illegal landscaper and resorts to sleazy shell game tactics like this in an election year is automatically unfit to be president.

    1) Israeli PM Bennie (Hill) Netanyahu

    The only thing that was missing from meme machine Bibi Netanyahu's bit of alarmist assclownery at the United Nations last Thursday was a Youtube video of his presentation speeded up to double time and accompanied by "Yakety Sax." But aside from the obvious, i.e. the Dr. Strangelove/Wile E. Coyote performance of Bibi at the UN, did his Boris and Natasha cartoon of an Iranian nuclear bomb strike anyone as looking and sounding vaguely and eerily familiar?




    Yeee-ah, that's what I thought. This means that not only is the fear-mongering at the United Nations over the phantom WMDs of Muslim countries continuing unabated, the cartoons are actually getting worse and more, well, cartoonish.

    No wonder the President said he was too busy to meet with Colin Powell, Jr when in reality all he had to do yesterday was attend a few fundraisers

    Thursday, September 27, 2012

    I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own: A Psychological Profile of Mitt Romney

    In the 10th episode of Season 4 of The Office, Michael Scott, the self-centered, bumbling manager of Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch office, goes on a blind date set up by one of his subordinates. He'd just broken up with Jan, his boss, and wanted to start dating again. He goes to the coffee shop and he says out loud he needs to look for a brunette wearing blue jeans and a black top, sees a hot blonde wearing a skirt and instantly deludes himself into thinking they're the same woman.

    Scott tries to introduce himself to her and she completely ignores and brushes past him. When his real date shows up, he then tries to claim he's not Michael. During this already crashed and burned blind date, Michael rubs his temple and does a horrible impersonation of someone who actually has the slightest interest in his date's life and what she does for a living. Art imitating life or vice versa?

    This is a perfect synecdoche of Multiple Mitt Romney and the Republican Party in general, people who are given one set of facts and refuse to acknowledge or even to see them because they think truth is actually negotiable. This is why the GOP is accusing pollsters who show the president widening his lead with over-polling Democratic voters and skewing the results. Romney refuses to see the 6 point split in the latest (right wing) Rasmussen poll and insisted on NBC that the race is tied.

    Lord only knows how Mitt Romney got elected Governor of Massachusetts. We're a state that, until Deval Patrick (who is himself no liberal and made over $10,000,000 as head of Coca Cola's legal department who went to bat for the soft drink giant to deny his own people civil rights), had elected almost exclusively Republican governors. Under Romney, Massachusetts was 47th in the country in job creation. Gay marriage was passed on May 17, 2004 over Romney's most strenuous objections and he'd dissolved a commission that was intended to address and stop anti-LGBT bullying. Aside from winning the gubernatorial election in 2002, Mitt Romney has lost every other race he's ever run in, including the Senate election in 1994 and last general election. Mitt Romney has given more concession speeches than perhaps any politician this side of Lyndon Larouche.

    Mitt Romney is the Michael Scott of American politics, a hopelessly deluded, socially-retarded man who has done one thing right in his entire life: Make lots and lots of money and put people out of work. He constantly misrepresents himself, contradicts himself and betrays himself as a pure, self-absorbed sociopath, the Baron of Belmont who doesn't understand why people don't love him after he pisses on those below him. And in Romney's case, it's not even as if he's capable of acknowledging the fact that no one really likes him because he actually thinks this is a neck-and-neck horse race.

    Mitt Romney is hopelessly insane in both a clinical and colloquial sense, a man who has yet to quantify his monstrously outsized ambitions by moving beyond them and articulating to the American people what exactly he wants to do. Sure, he said he wants to do away with Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security and repeal "ObamaCare", the bloated, conjoined twin of his disastrous and infinitely corrupt health care "reform" in Massachusetts that he's now pathetically claiming is proof of his empathy.

    But during every presidential campaign, Romney gives the impression of a man who's most concerned with getting into the White House first and then deciding what he'll do. Michael Scott had his Mitt Romney moment when the coffee shop barista called him by name after he'd tried to weasel out of a blind date with a plain-looking woman by claiming he wasn't who she thought he was. Well, more and more of us are finding out just who the real Mitt Romney is and we're not liking what we see.

    Wednesday, September 26, 2012

    Define Irony


    Sunday, September 23, 2012

    Sometimes, juxtaposition...

    ...is all the context one needs (click for larger image).

    What'll Happen if You Vote For Romney


    Why I'd Rather Suck Mitt Romney's Dick Than Vote For Obama

    By Cyril Blubberpuss, Conservative

    During a rainy day in New York recently, I was thinking as I walked on a crippled Occupy protester's back on the way to my limo that, while I'm not one of those Nancy boys, I would actually suck on Mitt Romney's cock before voting for Obama again.

    Thank God it shouldn't have to come to that, although, just between you and me, the prospect of both voting for Romney and sucking on his cock leaves a weird taste in my mouth, the kind you would get if you sucked on a plastic golf tee for no accountable reason.

    Now, I know what you libs and fulltime, professional cocksuckers are going to say: "Shouldn't Prosperity for America be supporting Obama, too, considering we're in the middle of a bull market, housing sales are up, industry regulations have lagged behind the first three and a half years of even the Bush administration, CEO pay is higher than ever and the 1% is 13% richer now than it was four years ago?"

    Poppycock, balderdash and dressage horse hockey!

    You'll note I said I wouldn't vote "for Obama again." Yes, four years ago, I decided after some fruitless soul-searching that I'd vote for the glib, articulate guy from Illinois instead of the ambulatory mummy with the Stepford Sally Field running mate.

    Why, you ask, would a rock-ribbed conservative-American commit such a shocking act of apostasy, of treason, of treachery? Well, it's simple when you think about it. It wasn't so much Obama I was voting for. #1, I'd never vote for a Kenyan (and I know the same Four Seasons dishwasher that Ann Coulter does, a guy from Nigeria who has a relative in Kenya whose second cousin knows a guy who'll swear that Obama was born there. Yes, those wily Africans began creating their Nairobi Candidate nearly half a century before the last general election). #2, it wasn't Obama I was voting for but Biden.

    Yes, Biden! Biden, he's my man. And if his home state can't incorporate my various shell companies, no one can. It was Biden who'd essentially midwifed that bankruptcy bill back in 2005 that drove liberals into a tizzy. As well as having a cock more massive than a toddler's arm, Ole Hair Plugs knows which side his bread is buttered on.

    Delaware, the other Rhode Island, has three things going for it: Being a dumping ground for Trenton, New Jersey, interstate toll booths every 50 yards and, best of all, the state with far more papers of incorporation than all the other 49 states combined. There are more corporate secrets locked away in Delaware than fucking Iron Mountain and Dick Cheney's old heart combined. And I thought ole Joe was going to have my back, all our backs. What the fuck, Dick Cheney actually ran the country, we all know that. He once told me he used to send Bush out for coffee and pastry at the Dunkin' Donuts in Arlington, Virginia during every energy and national security meeting.

    If anything, I thought Biden would make the same power grab Cheney did considering the old fuck was in the senate for 6 terms while Obama was a freshman. But Biden turned out to be another Hubert Humphrey lap dog only with a hotter wife.

    So what's my problem and why am I figuratively now prepared to don knee pads and polish Romney's Mormon knob before I would ever vote for Obama-Biden again? Because they haven't given us everything, yet, and we're impatient. Like Romney, in 2010, I came dangerously close to paying 14% on my largely capital gains dividends and I am not taking the risk of having that happen again. Mitt did a damned selfless thing in not claiming almost $2,000,000 of his deductions for last year, thereby artificially bloating his tax rate and paying about half, HALF! as much in federal income and capital gains taxes as Rafalca's groomer or the illegals who'd worked on his front lawn in Belmont. Mitt's deductions died for the sins of the 47%, for fuck's sake, and voting for Obama would only bring us that much closer to that happening again.

    The only problem I have with Romney (OK, I have two, #1 being his barely restrained honey badger of a wife. Ann could scare the shit out of that ceiling-crawling black-eyed little nip in The Ring movies) is his brutal honesty when he thinks he's behind closed doors. Of course we all feel the same way he does. Of course everyone who votes for Obama is a tax dodger (I'm living proof of that) but must you be so obvious about it, Willard?

    Another thing: If you want to look more Mexican, start by toning down the makeup. Last week, you looked like a free crash test dummy figurine that came inside a bag of Cheetos.

    Saturday, September 22, 2012

    Top 10 Examples of How Hard the Campaign Trail is on Ann D. Romney

    Late last week in Iowa, Ann D. Romney, wife of Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, attacked her husband's critics, this time Republicans. Mrs. Romney faulted her fellow conservatives for not being grateful enough to have her husband as the Republican Party's standard-bearer as well for not having an adequate enough appreciation for how hard being on the campaign trail was for her personally. What were some of the examples of how tough Ann D. Romney has had it on the campaign trail?




  • 10) In 2007, husband's presidential campaign made her skip a couple of therapeutic whippings of the house staff.
  • 9) During Mitt's gubernatorial run in 2002, someone in the 47% actually made eye contact with her.
  • 8) Last July, forced to explain why Rafalca stomped a waiter to death while Ann spoke at a fundraiser.
  • 7) During the primaries last year, Ann Romney forced to serve Caviar Helper to the children.
  • 6) Busy schedule so intense, once left two grandchildren on roof of car.
  • 5) Bigger and bigger list of who's deserving to have venom spat in their eye.
  • 4) Promised husband she'd never again take the campaign trail after unfortunate incident involving magic underwear at the dry cleaner's.
  • 3) During a particularly stressful day in 2008, once cut the rope from a rope line with teeth and strangled a Romney volunteer.
  • 2) Running out of houses in which to bury the bodies of her husband's critics.
  • 1) Much more difficult during Mitt's failed 1994 Senate run to lay her larva in mammalian host bodies.
  • Saturday 14% Blogging

    I may or may not post later today. I have to do a little food shopping and run an errand or two in the meat world. I was thinking about writing a post about yesterday's document dump at the end of the week but it looks as if Jill at Brilliant at Breakfast covered the topic pretty well. Plus, she has more authority to speak of these things because she's an actual taxpayer (or, as Romney would call her, nonexistent, because Mr. and Mrs. Brilliant plan on voting for President Obama yet pay income taxes). I guess I'm also nonexistent because I neither pay taxes (for a total lack of an income yet still owe the IRS over $430 from 2010 from my generous unemployment income) nor plan on voting for Obama.

    Speaking of a total lack of an income, Mrs. JP and I are still not out of the woods and need a little push to help us meet our bills after the end of the month so anything you can do would be deeply appreciated.

    Friday, September 21, 2012

    "O, the Inhumanity!"

    (By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari)

    Right about now, I can perfectly imagine Brad Thor, the Ted Nugent of novelists, in his basement, a single yellowed light bulb swinging overhead like a ring announcer's mic, screaming at his 947 plastic and tin soldiers to look alive in case Obama gets re-elected. So I hope you'll forgive me if I also imagine a postscript: Of one of our nation's foremost Islamophobes being ignored by his inanimate infantry then hanging himself behind a huge painting of George C. Scott as Patton.

    Because the Republican flop sweat hangs in the air like Amazonian dew. The buyer's remorse is palpable and the 1985 Cadillac El Dorado with the solid gold bumpers just ain't what it used to be or not what it seemed. It's behind the times, sticks out in the parking lot and too gaudy and conspicuous to ever be considered a classic. But what could the poor bastards do? Their other choices were Edsels, Ford Pintos and other jalopies. So, despite their Caddy breaking down literally every few hours, they keep pumping money into the thing because it's way too late to trade it in for a better vehicle.

    Or, to switch running metaphors for a minute (Because, if you're a Romney fan and reading this, then you'd have to be intellectually agile enough to keep up with a guy who changes positions more often than a triple-jointed hooker with ADHD), the last week of the Romney campaign has been a slooooow motion replay of the last five minutes of the Hindenburg as it approached Lakehurst, New Jersey on its maiden journey. All this campaign needs now is for Jennifer Rubin to announce from her Twitter account, "O, the humanity!"

    The trouble with that would be the fact that the Romney campaign has hardly distinguished itself for any semblance of humanity but rather its inhumanity. And over the last seven days, literally every few hours of each news cycle brought to light some neolithic fuckup heretofore unimaginable of a major presidential campaign. It's as if Camp Romney was being run by Bush insiders.

    The week of September 12-19th started the day after extremist Muslim jihadists attacked the American embassy in Libya, killing our ambassador and three former Navy SEALs. The Romney campaign thought they were showing class by waiting a few minutes after midnight after 9/11 so it wouldn't appear as if they were, you know, exploiting the deaths of innocents for political leverage or anything. But when Romney went out to address the press as if he was already the president, he merely continued the foreign policy gaffes that burbled last August from his piehole in Europe and the Middle East like gas after a Hungarian dinner. Romney got the timeline wrong and accused the president of supporting the very people who'd killed four of our people. Then, to punctuate his true intent, Romney then smirked as he turned his back on the podium without even seeing the photojournalist who then took the now-infamous picture of his self-satisfied grin.

    Then, in true Republican fashion, when called on his lies, he then doubled down on them like an umpire that had made a horrendous call but bound by protocol to continue selling it.

    Then the Campaign That Couldn't Shoot Straight had to contend with a video of a Romney fundraiser that was shot at the home of corporate raider Marc Leder in which Romney, with impeccable projection, essentially called the 47% of the people expected to vote for Obama "victims" and moochers who "don't pay taxes."

    The very next evening in California, Romney responded by claiming that his "inelegant" remarks were taken out of context (without actually denouncing his hateful remarks on Obama voters, sort of a, "Yeah, wifey, I got caught with my pants down with that hooker but we're still running away to Mexico to fuck and make babies, so eat shit and die. You'll hear from my lawyer.") and demanded that the full video be shown. Then, when Mother Jones promptly obliged and showed the entire video with no Breitbarting, it made Romney look even worse in full context. At one point, to show what an endlessly cynical, shallow and triangulating piece of shit he truly is, he then said at the same fundraiser,
    "(H)ad [my father] been born of Mexican parents, I'd have a better shot of winning this. But he was unfortunately born to Americans living in Mexico. He lived there for a number of years. I mean, I say that jokingly, but it would be helpful to be Latino."

    Then, in a classic, "I know what I am but what are you?" schoolyard moment, the Romney camp tried to fight fire with wet sticks by digging into the past to find a 1998 audio clip of Obama at Loyola University talking about his advocacy of income redistribution. The result was that networks favored the Romney video 13-1 and was essentially Romney's Whitewater moment.

    And that brings us to the next fuckup of the week, in which days after the now-infamous Mo Jo video, Romney addressed Latino voters on Univision looking like an Ooompa Loompa accountant fresh from a month-long vacation in Cancun. Caked with some quasi-umber foundation that looked as if it had been purloined from Donald Trump's makeup kit, he then doubled down on that crack that being of Latino parents would be beneficial only in a political sense, that being Mexican or Latino would be a mere benefit to helping him realize his ravenously ambitious goals.

    Then, in the middle of these glistening, squeaking, squirting, moaning clusterfucks, the Romney campaign then decides to give the Obama campaign another freebie by unzipping the real Ann Romney and put her back on the campaign trail. She appeared on Fox 31 in Denver to address her husband's astoundingly heartless and sociopathic remarks and to insult the intelligence of the American voter by saying that Mitt's campaign is all about helping the 100%, that he "doesn't disdain the poor." The Fox 31 interview was used as part of a campaign ad by the official Romney campaign Youtube channel that then abruptly pulled minutes later after it had gotten just 165 hits.

    Then last night, it was revealed by a Romney donor, with some delight, that Ann Romney essentially doubled down on her husband's jeremiad against the 47% by once saying, “My horse has more style and more class in its hoof than they (Democrats) do in their whole deal.”

    That would be presumably Rafalca the Olympic horse, who, if it could talk, would almost surely be more inclined to take Seamus the Lovable Luggage's side and to accuse Ann Romney of some projection of her own. Because it's difficult if not outright impossible to see the "style and class" in a psychopath who thinks everyone that would vote for his rival does not pay taxes, stalks, hunts down and assaults a gay classmate with a sharp object in a paroxysm of homophobia, puts tens of thousands of people out of work and ships them to China (and continues to have their jobs threatened by Romney's venture capital firm) and is perfectly comfortable with terrorizing the family pet for 12 hours to keep from getting a few dog hairs on his car's upholstery.

    And that, for "you people" who don't have a scorecard, was just in the last seven days, quite possibly the worst week ever suffered by a presidential candidate. Perhaps in a year's time, Hollywood will sign Michael Bay to make a movie about the Romney campaign. Perhaps they can call it, Wagging the Dog on the Roof.

    Either way you want to cut it, although the 47 days until Super Tuesday can still be an eternity in political terms, it's safe to say the Romney campaign is all but kaput. Aside from the corporate interests of the 1%, the only thing Romney has going for him now is that he's not Obama and, once he's off a Univision stage and is handed a Wet Nap, he's comfortably as white as virtually all of his voters. But they could've gotten that with Santorum, Gingrich, Bachmann, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman and Rick Perry.

    Wednesday, September 19, 2012

    Pic o' the Day


    I should've made this yesterday since that was the 42nd anniversary of Hendrix's death. But better late than never, I suppose.

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    Monday, September 17, 2012

    Why Republicans Don't Like Cameras at Fundraisers


    What a piece of shit. Elsewhere during this fundraiser, Romney insists that he wasn't born on third base, after all, and that he hit a triple, that he's a self-made man. So, I guess he put himself through Cranbrook and Harvard without Daddy's help, huh?

    But it's what Mitt Romney said about "the 47%" in this first video to the 1% that showed conclusively beyond a shadow of a doubt what a vicious, cold-blooded piece of lizard shit he truly is.

    Driving South


    It would mean moving away from my sons mere months after coming back into their lives, betraying the trust I've built up in them, and missing my older kid's wedding in early March and very likely the birth of my grandchild.

    It would mean driving well over 1000 miles in a 14, nearly 15 year-old car in bad need of a tuneup, alignment and a muffler job.

    It would mean giving up the last of my autonomy and independence and admitting, while showing up at the doorstep of a person I've never met, "I couldn't take care of your sister so now you have to take care of both of us."

    It would mean living in a state I'd rather not live in, where I'd be a classic fish out of water and forced to look for a job in a state with an unemployment rate easily 4-5% higher than Massachusetts'.

    It would mean mailing at great expense to us hundreds of pounds of our stuff in advance of us and stuffing whatever we could in a passenger car. It would mean spending anywhere from $4.25-$4.50 a gallon in highway gas and costing us at least $300-400 just for that, God knows how much for tolls.

    It would mean saying goodbye to a state that I've adopted as my home for the better part of 35 years, a state with Currier and Ives winters, rich foliage in the fall and beautiful summers, a state with an enviable literary tradition and progressive politics.

    It would involve the headache of transferring registration, insurance, driver's licenses, closing down and reopening bank accounts, canceling utilities accounts, and the headache of choosing what to keep and what to jettison from a life that we've both built these past three plus years.

    It may even conceivably mean putting our beloved cat in a shelter with absolutely no way of knowing if he'll get sent to an abusive or neglectful home or euthanized.

    But even though I can think of many more reasons not to move down south than reasons to do so, I can feel myself about to hit that invisible wall like a sentient crash test dummy. If we stay here much longer, I may have to tell my landlord for the first time in three and a half years, "I can't afford to pay the rent." Life goes on and landlords, utility companies, insurance agencies and banks keep on pretending that there's nothing going on out there and grimly collecting money and issuing threats as if we're not experiencing the worst depression in about 75 years. To do so, to acknowledge that, yes, people are having a hard time finding work and a harder time paying their bills would result in financial anarchy. I get it.

    I don't know why I can't find work. Prior to 2003, I rarely needed more than a couple of months, tops, to find a job. But a lot's changed since then. Companies decided they liked getting more done with fewer people, consolidating job descriptions so that your old one is no longer current. They somehow, against all earthly reason, loved the idea of going through temp agencies and paying about 50% over what they would pay if they'd just hired directly.

    Suddenly, every job, whether it be Quality Control inspector or shit shoveler, required experience and a degree. These days, even a four pack of toilet paper needs an agent or a pimp and even then that's if you have an "in" that'll float you to the top of the massive intake.

    And even if a job magically materialized here in central MA that would enable me to meet all my obligations, there's still a group of noxious individuals close by that I'd sooner not see. When I go downstairs and look at my car, I always check to see if the tires are still inflated. No one should have to live like that.

    And Mrs. JP has repeatedly said her shoulder cannot tolerate another Massachusetts winter. And the old familiar faces that pass for friends aren't friendly enough to keep us here.

    I know that many of you that have decided to stick around for the train wreck that is my life these past four plus years either feel guilty you cannot help or have grown a little more Randian than you'd like to admit. Many have grown tired of my neverending litany of problems. Shit, you think I haven't? I can't even say I'd be worth more dead than alive because I don't have life insurance (even George Bailey had a $500 equity on his life insurance policy). (And to you cranks who are already mentally writing your nasty little Schadenfreudian comments expressing glee over my misfortune, spare yourself the effort. As always, I know who you are and they get deleted unread.)

    But if you think a move of this magnitude, at our age, would be an easy thing financially, logistically, emotionally or psychologically, then please disabuse yourself of that notion. Moving outside of my comfort zone, far away from the central Massachusetts that I've called home for well over a third of a century would be traumatizing to the point of depressing. Imagine suddenly chucking every one of your comfortable habits to live in a strange place with strange people. Get back to me when you think you can imagine how that would affect you emotionally and mentally.

    But we need help. It would probably be cheaper to stay here for another month than it would be to make the move but after that what then? Here, I have responsibilities to many people that I may not be able to meet and, before I begin failing them, as I almost surely will barring some miracle, at least we have extended family.

    But that takes money, a significant amount.

    I haven't made up my mind for sure what I'll do. I've barely begun searching job markets in this part of the south, made phone calls, and have begun hashing out the necessary logistics. Either way, we'll need some assistance and if 100 people reading this chip in only $10 a piece, it would finance this move or at least keep us living like human beings here for another month.

    People, many of you have been kind, sometimes unreasonably kind. But even though I'm a writer, I cannot convey in words to give you even a vague idea of how much I loathe myself for abusing this Paypal button, which was never put up in April of 2009 to be my sole and primary means of financial support. When I invited Mrs. JP to come up that month, I had every reasonable confidence I'd be working and that I could secure work for her.

    For the most part, I have failed and that failure sticks to me like burning tar and razor-sharp feathers every moment of my life. Yeah, the unemployment rate's still over 8%, the real unemployment rate that doesn't include those like us who've been kicked off unemployment and have virtually stopped looking, is closer to 16%.

    But after a while, even the BLS's statistics sound like hollow excuses and I've run out of answers when the rare hiring manager I speak to at an interview asks me, "So, what have you been doing these past three plus years? How have you been getting by?"

    And responding, "One torturous, self-loathing, agonizing moment at a time" isn't even remotely an option.

    Saturday, September 15, 2012

    Pic o' the Day


    There's so much irony packed into this one photo, it irresistibly brings to mind the axiom of a picture being worth 1000 words. This is the Rmoney tour bus in his native Michigan, with barely enough supporters for a pickup basketball team. Note the message on the billboard behind it, which seems to mock the Rmoney campaign for not bringing its game. Then note the name at the top of the billboard: Clear Channel, which is owned by none other than Rmoney's Bain Capital.

    It's pictures like this that seem to validate my opinion that about two thirds of all political campaigns are fueled by an impenetrable blanket of delusion. And no matter how much the corporate mainstream media may flog the dead nag of the Rmoney campaign, it will not turn this into the obligatory two horse race. There's one thoroughbred in this race and that's the virtually uncontested Barack Obama. Otherwise, how can the race for the White House be won by a guy who can't even carry his home state (Karl Rove's GPS Crossroads even pulled all ads from Michigan as well as Pennsylvania) and the one he used to govern?

    Stick a silver fork in him. Rmoney's done.

    Caturday Blogging


    It's not as if there's nothing to write about. With almost the entire Muslim world literally in flames and Muslims showing their love for Allah by looting schools and there being more to the murder of Chris Stevens than meets the eye, there's a shitload to write about. But that requires research, research I can't justify spending the time to do right now.

    So please accept this substitute in the form of my haughty Russian blue Popeye, who's literally sitting in my lap as I write this.

    Friday, September 14, 2012

    Top Ten Reasons Not to Vote For Mitt Romney


    Mitt Romney is a political crash test dummy, an artificial life support system with a working mouth, a four-legged leatheroid briefcase. I'm sure that more than one psychiatrist or psychoanalyst who's been listening to him these past four years has come to the conclusion that Mitt Romney is a four star psychopath or sociopath, a man (for want of a better word) who simply cannot relate to real humans, a one-man gaffe factory the minute you take him out of a corporate boardroom. What follows below are ten actual quotes from Mitt Romney going back several years and you can decide, after reading these quotes, if this man deserves even a single vote this November.


    10) "Corporations are people, my friend."


    Last summer at the 2011 Iowa state fair, with another GOP presidential debate that same night, Mitt Romney lowered himself by catering to a heckler who was laughing at him for claiming that corporations are just like you and me, minus, of course, corporeal forms, the ability to love and show compassion, culpability and the 20-30% tax rate most of us are required to pay. By getting into a yelling match with a single heckler, Romney clung to an erroneously-interpreted 19th century Supreme Court ruling (rewritten by a court reporter who just happened to be employed by a railroad corporation) and showed for not the last time his more vicious side. Indeed, very much in keeping with other uptight Republican assholes, Mitt Romney shows emotion only when publicly challenged and ridiculed for his many bizarre statements.

    If, in Mitt Romney's world view, corporations are people then small businesses are their red-headed stepchildren.

    9) "I didn't know you had families."

    In 2004 when he was Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney at first refused to meet with David Wilson and Julie Goodridge, the two LGBT activists whose names became part of the court ruling that made Massachusetts the first state to adopt same sex marriage. Mitt Romney had publicly backed an amendment that would've blocked same sex marriage before it became a reality. After he was pressured into meeting with Wilson and Goodridge, Romney said, "I didn't know you had families," thereby showing a sociopathic disconnect so thorough that Romney couldn't even take the time to read and understand the ruling to which he was opposed and its humanistic reasons for allowing gay couples to begin their own families.

    Bonus reason: Josh Friedes, advocacy director for the Massachusetts Freedom to Marry Coalition, related this story:
    “He made clear that he was willing to listen to business leaders about the issue of family recognition. The impression was that if business leaders told him certain benefits and protections would increase the productivity of gay workers, he would be open to supporting those... It was not really about what these protections would do for gay families, but what they would do for the titans of industry.”


    8) "I'm running for office, for Pete's sake, I can't have illegals."

    On October 18, 2011, at one of the 458,961 GOP debates last year, Mitt Romney again showed his vicious side to Texas Governor Rick Perry, who rightly called him on his use of illegal immigrants working on his property. Earlier, Romney denied using illegals then two minutes later contradicted himself and said he did but blamed the contractor. Romney claimed he told the contractor, "I'm running for office, for Pete's sake, I can't have illegals."

    Meaning if he wasn't running for public office, it would've been hunky dory to use minimum wage-earning illegal immigrant labor on his property just like Lou Dobbs.

    7) “I pay all the taxes that are legally required and not a dollar more.”

    While demanding VP candidates turn over at least a decade's worth of tax returns to his campaign, Mitt Romney has stubbornly refused to release more than one of his own tax returns and an estimate for another. The reason for the stonewalling would be obvious to a first grader: The man pays little to no taxes and he knows this disclosure would sink his presidential hopes. When Romney said, “I pay all the taxes that are legally required and not a dollar more,” what he was really saying was that, "Switzerland, the Caymans and the five other countries where I've stashed my money keep me from having to pay any taxes whatsoever, which, believe it or not, is all legal, bitches, so suck my corporate cock."

    Hopefully, these hackers are for real and we'll be reading through Romney's tax returns by September 28th unless a $1,000,000 ransom is paid.

    6) "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air."


    By now, I would hope we all know the story of the National Lampoon vacation 29 years ago in which Mitt Romney strapped his dog to the roof of the car in seeming ignorance of Massachusetts animal cruelty laws and drove 12 hours to Lake Huron. Seamus loved the fresh air of his windshielded kennel so much he shit all over the car and himself. In some of the few times the Romneys have spoken of the incident,
    Romney stated that Seamus enjoyed being in the dog carrier, an "air-tight kennel", and that he was not aware of any violations of Massachusetts law. Ann Romney, Mitt Romney's wife, has stated that the news media exaggerated the severity of the incident, and compared traveling in the roof-top dog carrier to riding a motorcycle or riding in the bed of a pickup truck. During an April 2012 interview with ABC News, Diane Sawyer asked Mitt Romney about the Seamus story and if he would ever do it again. Romney replied, "Certainly not with the attention it's received", after which Sawyer stated, "You said it was the most wounding thing in the campaign so far", though it is ambiguous as to whether Romney agreed with this statement. During the same interview, Ann Romney stated that Seamus got diarrhea from eating turkey off the table before the trip, and that the dog loved the crate.

    By saying he wouldn't do it again "with the attention it's received", Romney was basically saying, "Because I'm running for office, for Pete's sake." Plus, by insisting to this day that Seamus the Lovable Luggage enjoyed seeing the highway rushing at him for a half a day straight, Romney once again betrayed his usual sociopathic disconnection by seeing one thing (such as a meeting that reduced Julie Goodridge to tears being described by Romney as "pleasant") that's at stark odds with reality, meaning that not only is a Mitt Romney a sociopath, he's a delusional one, at that, exactly the type of person right wing mouth-breathers want having access to our nuclear launch codes.

    5) "I like being able to fire people who provide services to me."


    Most normal people, especially those who are running for office, for Pete's sake, would say something more along the lines of, "I enjoy having the flexibility to choose my health care providers and health care plans." But this is Mitt Romney, the world's most dangerous game show host, we're talking about. At a breakfast with the New Hampshire Chamber of Commerce last January 8th, Romney didn't just say what most normal people would say even if only out of political expediency because Mitt Romney is simply not normal. And he played right into the hands of Republican and Democratic opponents who didn't have to try very hard at making the image of the heartless corporate raider stick to him. Even a benign personal decision to eschew one health care provider for another is, to Romney, a cold-blooded corporate mandate that requires "firing" them.

    4) "I'm not concerned about the very poor. We have a safety net there."

    On the heels of this stupendously stupid gaffe, Romney then said days later, on national television, that he essentially didn't give a shit about the poor because the social safety net would take care of them. That would be the social safety net that Romney is trying to dismantle through a plan that makes running mate Paul Ryan's look like a liberal wet dream.

    3) "An apology for America’s values is never the right course... The statement that came from the administration was, was a statement which is akin to apology and I think was a, a severe miscalculation."

    History will say that Mitt Romney lost the 2012 race for White House on September 12th, not November 6, 2012. Because that was the day Romney sprinted to the microphone barely after September 11th became September 12th and got literally everything wrong about the Benghazi embassy attack that left four Americans dead. He misquoted the president and got the timeline wrong and packed so much bullshit into a single speech one is a little amazed that he didn't pull a Herman Cain and get the country wrong.


    To punctuate my point, after delivering the news that four Americans were killed in a vicious rocket attack, Romney then turned away and smirked like a ten year-old who just put a flaming bag of dog shit on the vice principal's stoop on Halloween. Like I said: P-U-R-E S-O-C-I-O-P-A-T-H.

    2) "I love this state. The trees are the right height."


    In the ultimate irony, Mitt Romney said just today that he wants Gene Hackman to play him in a movie about his life. Maybe he had this scene in The Birdcage in mind, which sounds suspiciously like his approval of the height of trees in Michigan.

    1) "When you give a speech you don't go through a laundry list, you talk about the things that you think are important."

    A week ago today, Mitt Romney actually said that, once again, on national television, when asked why he didn't mention the troops in his acceptance speech at the RNC convention. Ergo, by using simple, algebraic deductive reasoning, Mitt Romney doesn't think the troops who are putting their lives on the line both here and abroad are important enough to even mention. I think ending right here would be only appropriate, no?

    Thursday, September 13, 2012

    September 11th Redux

    (By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari)

    September 11th is becoming a day of infamy for humanity. 9/11/73 was the day Pinochet grabbed power in Chile and assassinated Salvador Allende with the complicity of our right wing government. September 11th 2001, recently observed, was the day 19 al Qaeda terrorists allegedly flew two planes into the World Trade Center, one more into the Pentagon and another into a field in Shanksville, PA. And this past September 11th, as we were remembering the nearly 3000 who were killed, jihadists in Benghazi attacked our embassy with mortars and killed four Americans, including our ambassador to that country.

    Nearly everyone's to blame for the death of Chris Stevens, our ambassador to Libya, and three other people. "Sam Bacile" is to blame for his shitty little Youtube hit job on Islam and the prophet Mohammed. The AP and the Wall Street Journal have blood on their hands for not vetting this guy's story and spreading the lie that Bacile (more than likely a convicted crook and Coptic Christian named Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, who's now running for his life) was an American Israeli Jew whose film, the sarcastically-named, "Innocence of Muslims," was financed by 100 other Jews.

    This, as has been long since been revealed, is an outright lie and once a lie takes hold, the truth hasn't got a chance.

    Whether or not the attack on our embassy in Benghazi, Libya was the work of "well-armed, well-trained and well-equipped" terrorists as Senator McCain claims, thin-skinned Muslims who plainly have mental and emotional issues have no right attacking our embassies in Libya, Cairo, Yemen and elsewhere.

    To his credit, Sen. John McCain chose not to attack the president for something that's plainly not his fault (despite the Yahoo News yahoo who tried poking the hornet's nest). But it could posited that the Democratic Party's hastily-rigged and undemocratic move to name Jerusalem as Israel's capital, one reminiscent of the lightning-fast Republican vote in Wisconsin last year to strip collective bargaining rights from union workers, could have something to do with the anti-American sentiment that's currently sweeping across the Muslim world.

    Last year, we saw the Arab Spring against totalitarian, undemocratic regimes. This year, we're seeing the Arab Fall, except the reputation of the United States is falling.

    In the ultimate scumbag move, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney waited until just after midnight on September 11th to take the podium to blast the Obama administration, unfairly and untruthfully, for supporting the very same people who attacked us. It was yet another bloody, quivering chunk of red meat thrown to the birther/Bircher faction engineered to more than suggest that Obama is a Muslim, after all, and that this is proof of his alleged pro-Muslim sentiments.

    However, the only thing that was proven was that Mitt Romney is a racist, opportunistic right wing scumbag who was so proud of his timely political grandstanding that he'd actually smirked with satisfaction the second he turned his back on the podium.

    In reality, Romney pretty much sealed the fate of his long-doomed campaign and thereby guaranteed he'll never get to be president of the United States after that stupendously sleazy move.

    Because about the only person who's blameless in this affair is our president, who responded swiftly, decisively and in a very presidential manner, dispatching 50 additional Marines to Benghazi to better protect our remaining embassy staff.

    This ought to be viewed as an object lesson as to the danger of pursuing agendas that are counter to world peace. This ought to be viewed as a cautionary tale as to the danger of the MSM literally phoning it in and not vetting stories told to them over the phone by right wing operatives and endangering (and costing) the lives of Americans and Israelis and Jews all over the world. This ought to be viewed as a morality tale as to the folly of exploiting a national tragedy on the anniversary of another national tragedy to score cheap political points and to do so with unforgivable disingenuousness.

    But if humans had the capacity to learn from its worst mistakes, it wouldn't keep making the same ones over and over again.

    Tuesday, September 11, 2012

    Lest We Forget


    World Trade Center Victims

    Gordon M. Aamoth, Jr. Edelmiro Abad Maria Rose Abad Andrew Anthony Abate Vincent Abate Laurence Christopher Abel William F. Abrahamson Richard Anthony Aceto Jesus Acevedo Rescand Heinrich Bernhard Ackermann Paul Acquaviva Donald LaRoy Adams Patrick Adams Shannon Lewis Adams Stephen George Adams Ignatius Udo Adanga Christy A. Addamo Terence E. Adderley, Jr. Sophia Buruwad Addo Lee Allan Adler Daniel Thomas Afflitto Emmanuel Akwasi Afuakwah Alok Agarwal Mukul Kumar Agarwala Joseph Agnello David Scott Agnes Brian G. Ahearn Jeremiah Joseph Ahern Joanne Marie Ahladiotis Shabbir Ahmed Terrance Andre Aiken Godwin Ajala Gertrude M. Alagero Andrew Alameno Margaret Ann Alario Gary M. Albero Jon Leslie Albert Peter Alderman Jacquelyn Delaine Aldridge David D. Alger Sarah Ali-Escarcega Ernest Alikakos Edward L. Allegretto Eric Allen Joseph Ryan Allen Richard Dennis Allen Richard Lanard Allen Christopher E. Allingham Janet M. Alonso Arturo Alva-Moreno Anthony Alvarado Antonio Javier Alvarez Victoria Alvarez-Brito Telmo E. Alvear Cesar Amoranto Alviar Tariq Amanullah Angelo Amaranto James M. Amato Joseph Amatuccio Christopher Charles Amoroso Kazuhiro Anai Calixto Anaya, Jr. Joseph Anchundia Kermit Charles Anderson Yvette Constance Anderson John Andreacchio Michael Rourke Andrews Jean Ann Andrucki Siew-Nya Ang Joseph Angelini, Jr. Joseph Angelini, Sr. Laura Angilletta Doreen J. Angrisani Lorraine Antigua Peter Paul Apollo Faustino Apostol, Jr. Frank Thomas Aquilino Patrick Michael Aranyos David Arce Michael George Arczynski Louis Arena Adam P. Arias Michael Armstrong Jack Charles Aron Joshua Aron Richard Avery Aronow Japhet Jesse Aryee Patrick Asante Carl Asaro Michael Asciak Michael Edward Asher Janice Marie Ashley Thomas J. Ashton Manuel O. Asitimbay Gregg Arthur Atlas Gerald T. Atwood James Audiffred Louis Frank Aversano, Jr. Ezra Aviles Sandy Ayala Arlene T. Babakitis Eustace P. Bacchus John J. Badagliacca Jane Ellen Baeszler Robert J. Baierwalter Andrew J. Bailey Brett T. Bailey Tatyana Bakalinskaya Michael S. Baksh Sharon M. Balkcom Michael Andrew Bane Katherine Bantis Gerard Baptiste Walter Baran Gerard A. Barbara Paul Vincent Barbaro James William Barbella Ivan Kyrillos F. Barbosa Victor Daniel Barbosa Colleen Ann Barkow David Michael Barkway Matthew Barnes Sheila Patricia Barnes Evan J. Baron Renee Barrett-Arjune Nathaly Barrios La Cruz Arthur Thaddeus Barry Diane G. Barry Maurice Vincent Barry Scott D. Bart Carlton W. Bartels Guy Barzvi Inna B. Basina Alysia Basmajian Kenneth William Basnicki Steven Bates Paul James Battaglia Walter David Bauer, Jr. Marlyn Capito Bautista Jasper Baxter Michele Beale Paul Frederick Beatini Jane S. Beatty Lawrence Ira Beck Manette Marie Beckles Carl John Bedigian Michael Earnest Beekman Maria A. Behr Yelena Belilovsky Nina Patrice Bell Debbie Bellows Stephen Elliot Belson Paul M. Benedetti Denise Lenore Benedetto Maria Bengochea Bryan Craig Bennett Eric L. Bennett Oliver Duncan Bennett Margaret L. Benson Dominick J. Berardi James Patrick Berger Steven Howard Berger John P. Bergin Alvin Bergsohn Daniel Bergstein Michael J. Berkeley Donna M. Bernaerts David W. Bernard William Bernstein David M. Berray David S. Berry Joseph J. Berry William Reed Bethke Timothy Betterly Edward Frank Beyea Paul Beyer Anil Tahilram Bharvaney Bella J. Bhukhan Shimmy D. Biegeleisen Peter Alexander Bielfeld William G. Biggart Brian Bilcher Carl Vincent Bini Gary Eugene Bird Joshua David Birnbaum George John Bishop Jeffrey Donald Bittner Albert Balewa Blackman, Jr. Christopher Joseph Blackwell Susan Leigh Blair Harry Blanding, Jr. Janice Lee Blaney Craig Michael Blass Rita Blau Richard Middleton Blood, Jr.
    Michael Andrew Boccardi John P. Bocchi Michael Leopoldo Bocchino Susan M. Bochino Bruce D. Boehm Mary Catherine Boffa Nicholas Andrew Bogdan Darren Christopher Bohan Lawrence Francis Boisseau Vincent M. Boland, Jr. Alan Bondarenko Andre Bonheur, Jr. Colin Arthur Bonnett Frank Bonomo Yvonne Lucia Bonomo Genieve Bonsignore Seaon Booker Sherry Ann Bordeaux Krystine Bordenabe Martin Boryczewski Richard Edward Bosco John H. Boulton Francisco Eligio Bourdier Thomas Harold Bowden, Jr. Kimberly S. Bowers Veronique Nicole Bowers Larry Bowman Shawn Edward Bowman, Jr. Kevin L. Bowser Gary R. Box Gennady Boyarsky Pamela Boyce Michael Boyle Alfred Braca Kevin Bracken David Brian Brady Alexander Braginsky Nicholas W. Brandemarti Michelle Renee Bratton Patrice Braut Lydia E. Bravo Ronald Michael Breitweiser Edward A. Brennan III Francis Henry Brennan Michael E. Brennan Peter Brennan Thomas M. Brennan Daniel J. Brethel Gary Lee Bright Jonathan Briley Mark A. Brisman Paul Gary Bristow Mark Francis Broderick Herman Charles Broghammer Keith A. Broomfield Ethel Brown Janice Juloise Brown Lloyd Stanford Brown Patrick J. Brown Bettina Browne Mark Bruce Richard George Bruehert Andrew Brunn Vincent Brunton Ronald Paul Bucca Brandon J. Buchanan Gregory Joseph Buck Dennis Buckley Nancy Clare Bueche Patrick Joseph Buhse John Edwards Bulaga, Jr. Stephen Bunin Matthew J. Burke Thomas Daniel Burke William Francis Burke, Jr. Donald J. Burns Kathleen Anne Burns Keith James Burns John Patrick Burnside Irina Buslo Milton G. Bustillo Thomas M. Butler Patrick Byrne Timothy G. Byrne Jesus Neptali Cabezas Lillian Caceres Brian Joseph Cachia Steven Dennis Cafiero, Jr. Richard M. Caggiano Cecile Marella Caguicla Michael John Cahill Scott Walter Cahill Thomas Joseph Cahill George Cain Salvatore B. Calabro Joseph Calandrillo Philip V. Calcagno Edward Calderon Kenneth Marcus Caldwell Dominick Enrico Calia Felix Calixte Frank Callahan Liam Callahan Luigi Calvi Roko Camaj Michael F. Cammarata David Otey Campbell Geoffrey Thomas Campbell Jill Marie Campbell Robert Arthur Campbell Sandra Patricia Campbell Sean Thomas Canavan John A. Candela Vincent Cangelosi Stephen J. Cangialosi Lisa Bella Cannava Brian Cannizzaro Michael Canty Louis Anthony Caporicci Jonathan Neff Cappello James Christopher Cappers Richard Michael Caproni Jose Manuel Cardona Dennis M. Carey Steve Carey Edward Carlino Michael Scott Carlo David G. Carlone Rosemarie C. Carlson Mark Stephen Carney Joyce Ann Carpeneto Ivhan Luis Carpio Bautista Jeremy M. Carrington Michael Carroll Peter Carroll James Joseph Carson, Jr. Marcia Cecil Carter James Marcel Cartier Vivian Casalduc John Francis Casazza Paul R. Cascio Margarito Casillas Thomas Anthony Casoria William Otto Caspar Alejandro Castano Arcelia Castillo Germaan Castillo Garcia Leonard M. Castrianno Jose Ramon Castro Richard G. Catarelli Christopher Sean Caton Robert John Caufield Mary Teresa Caulfield Judson Cavalier Michael Joseph Cawley Jason David Cayne Juan Armando Ceballos Jason Michael Cefalu Thomas Joseph Celic Ana Mercedes Centeno Joni Cesta Jeffrey Marc Chairnoff Swarna Chalasani William Chalcoff Eli Chalouh Charles Lawrence Chan Mandy Chang Mark Lawrence Charette Gregorio Manuel Chavez Delrose E. Cheatham Pedro Francisco Checo Douglas MacMillan Cherry Stephen Patrick Cherry Vernon Paul Cherry Nester Julio Chevalier Swede Chevalier Alexander H. Chiang Dorothy J. Chiarchiaro Luis Alfonso Chimbo Robert Chin Wing Wai Ching Nicholas Paul Chiofalo John Chipura Peter A. Chirchirillo Catherine Chirls Kyung Hee Cho Abul K. Chowdhury Mohammad Salahuddin Chowdhury Kirsten L. Christophe Pamela Chu Steven Chucknick Wai Chung Christopher Ciafardini Alex F. Ciccone Frances Ann Cilente Elaine Cillo Edna Cintron Nestor Andre Cintron III Robert Dominick Cirri Juan Pablo Cisneros-Alvarez Benjamin Keefe Clark Eugene Clark Gregory Alan Clark Mannie Leroy Clark Thomas R. Clark Christopher Robert Clarke Donna Marie Clarke Michael J. Clarke Suria Rachel Emma Clarke Kevin Francis Cleary James D. Cleere Geoffrey W. Cloud Susan Marie Clyne Steven Coakley Jeffrey Alan Coale Patricia A. Cody Daniel Michael Coffey Jason M. Coffey Florence G. Cohen Kevin Sanford CohenAnthony Joseph Coladonato Mark Joseph Colaio Stephen Colaio Christopher M. Colasanti Kevin Nathaniel Colbert Michel P. Colbert Keith E. Coleman Scott Thomas Coleman Tarel Coleman Liam Joseph Colhoun Robert D. Colin Robert J. Coll Jean Collin John Michael Collins Michael L. Collins Thomas J. Collins Joseph Collison Patricia Malia Colodner Linda M. Colon Sol E. Colon Ronald Edward Comer Sandra Jolane Conaty Brace Jaime Concepcion Albert Conde Denease Conley Susan P. Conlon Margaret Mary Conner Cynthia Marie Lise Connolly John E. Connolly, Jr. James Lee Connor Jonathan M. Connors Kevin Patrick Connors Kevin F. Conroy Jose Manuel Contreras-Fernandez Brenda E. Conway Dennis Michael Cook Helen D. Cook John A. Cooper Joseph John Coppo, Jr. Gerard J. Coppola Joseph Albert Corbett Alejandro Cordero Robert Cordice Ruben D. Correa Danny A. Correa-Gutierrez James J. Corrigan Carlos Cortes Kevin Cosgrove Dolores Marie Costa Digna Alexandra Costanza Charles Gregory Costello, Jr. Michael S. Costello Conrod K. Cottoy Martin John Coughlan John Gerard Coughlin Timothy J. Coughlin James E. Cove Andre Cox Frederick John Cox James Raymond Coyle Michele Coyle-Eulau Anne Marie Cramer Christopher S. Cramer Denise Elizabeth Crant James Leslie Crawford, Jr. Robert James Crawford Joanne Mary Cregan Lucy Crifasi John A. Crisci Daniel Hal Crisman Dennis Cross Kevin Raymond Crotty Thomas G. Crotty John Crowe Welles Remy Crowther Robert L. Cruikshank John Robert Cruz Grace Yu Cua Kenneth John Cubas Francisco Cruz Cubero Richard J. Cudina Neil James Cudmore Thomas Patrick Cullen lll Joyce Cummings Brian Thomas Cummins Michael Cunningham Robert Curatolo Laurence Damian Curia Paul Dario Curioli Beverly Curry Michael S. Curtin Gavin Cushny John D'Allara Vincent Gerard D'Amadeo Jack D'Ambrosi Mary D'Antonio Edward A. D'Atri Michael D. D'Auria Michael Jude D'Esposito Manuel John Da Mota Caleb Arron Dack Carlos S. DaCosta Joao Alberto DaFonseca Aguiar, Jr.
    Thomas A. Damaskinos Jeannine Marie Damiani-Jones Patrick W. Danahy Nana Danso Vincent Danz Dwight Donald Darcy Elizabeth Ann Darling Annette Andrea Dataram Lawrence Davidson Michael Allen Davidson Scott Matthew Davidson Titus Davidson Niurka Davila Clinton Davis Wayne Terrial Davis Anthony Richard Dawson Calvin Dawson Edward James Day Jayceryll de Chavez Jennifer De Jesus Monique E. De Jesus Nereida De Jesus Emerita De La Pena Azucena Maria de la Torre David Paul De Rubbio Jemal Legesse De Santis Christian Louis De Simone Melanie Louise De Vere William Thomas Dean Robert J. DeAngelis, Jr. Thomas Patrick DeAngelis Tara E. Debek Anna Marjia DeBin James V. Deblase Paul DeCola Simon Marash Dedvukaj Jason Defazio
    David A. DeFeo Manuel Del Valle, Jr. Donald Arthur Delapenha Vito Joseph DeLeo
    Danielle Anne Delie Joseph A. Della Pietra Andrea DellaBella Palmina DelliGatti
    Colleen Ann Deloughery Francis Albert DeMartini Anthony Demas Martin N. DeMeo
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    Victims on American Airlines Flight 11


    Anna Allison David Lawrence Angell Lynn Edwards Angell Seima Aoyama Barbara Jean Arestegui Myra Joy Aronson Christine Barbuto Carolyn Beug Kelly Ann Booms Carol Marie Bouchard Robin Lynne Kaplan Neilie Anne Heffernan Casey Jeffrey Dwayne Collman Jeffrey W. Coombs Tara Kathleen Creamer Thelma Cuccinello Patrick Currivan Brian Paul Dale David Dimeglio Donald Americo Ditullio Alberto Dominguez Paige Marie Farley-Hackel Alexander Milan Filipov Carol Ann Flyzik Paul J. Friedman Karleton D.B. Fyfe Peter Alan Gay Linda M. George Edmund Glazer Lisa Reinhart Gordenstein Andrew Peter Charles Curry Green Peter Paul Hashem Robert Jay Hayes Edward R. Hennessy, Jr. John A. Hofer Cora Hidalgo Holland John Nicholas Humber, Jr. Waleed Joseph Iskandar John Charles Jenkins Charles Edward Jones Barbara A. Keating David P. Kovalcin Judith Camilla Larocque Natalie Janis Lasden Daniel John Lee Daniel M. Lewin Sara Elizabeth Low Susan A. Mackay Karen Ann Martin Thomas F. McGuinness, Jr. Christopher D. Mello Jeffrey Peter Mladenik Carlos Alberto Montoya Antonio Jesus Montoya Valdes Laura Lee Morabito Mildred Naiman Laurie Ann Neira Renee Lucille Newell Kathleen Ann Nicosia Jacqueline June Norton Robert Grant Norton John Ogonowski Betty Ann Ong Jane M. Orth Thomas Nicholas Pecorelli Berinthia B. Perkins Sonia M. Puopolo David E. Retik Jean Destrehan Roger Philip Martin Rosenzweig Richard Barry Ross Jessica Leigh Sachs Rahma Salie Heather Lee Smith Dianne Bullis Snyder Douglas Joel Stone Xavier Suarez Madeline Amy Sweeney Michael Theodoridis James Anthony Trentini Mary Barbara Trentini Pendyala Vamsikrishna Mary Alice Wahlstrom Kenneth Waldie John Joseph Wenckus Candace Lee Williams Christopher Rudolph Zarba, Jr.

    Victims on United Airlines Flight 175


    Alona Abraham Garnet Edward Bailey Mark Lawrence Bavis Graham Andrew Berkeley Touri Bolourchi Klaus Bothe Daniel Raymond Brandhorst David Reed Gamboa Brandhorst John Brett Cahill Christoffer Mikael Carstanjen John J. Corcoran III Dorothy Alma de Araujo Ana Gloria Pocasangre Debarrera Robert John Fangman Lisa Anne Frost Ronald Gamboa Lynn Catherine Goodchild Peter M. Goodrich Douglas Alan Gowell Francis Edward Grogan Carl Max Hammond, Jr. Christine Lee Hanson Peter Burton Hanson Susan Kim Hanson Gerald Francis Hardacre Eric Hartono James Edward Hayden Herbert Wilson Homer Michael Robert Horrocks Robert Adrien Jalbert Amy N. Jarret Ralph Kershaw Heinrich Kimmig Amy R. King Brian Kinney Kathryn L. LaBorie Robert G. Leblanc Maclovio Lopez, Jr. Marianne Macfarlane Alfred Gilles Marchand Louis Mariani Juliana McCourt Ruth Magdaline McCourt Wolfgang Peter Menzel Shawn M. Nassaney Marie Pappalardo Patrick J. Quigley IV Frederick Charles Rimmele III James Roux Jesus Sanchez Victor J. Saracini Mary Kathleen Shearer Robert M. Shearer Jane Louise Simpkin Brian David Sweeney Michael C. Tarrou Alicia N. Titus Timothy Ray Ward William Michael Weems

    Victims at the Pentagon (Not Including Flight 77)

    Note: USA - United Stated Army; USN - United States Navy

    SPC Craig S. Amundson, USA YN3 Melissa Rose Barnes, USN MSG Max J. Beilke, Retired IT2 Kris Romeo Bishundat, USN Carrie R. Blagburn COL Canfield D. Boone, ARNG Donna M. Bowen Allen P. Boyle ET3 Christopher L. Burford, USN ET3 Daniel M. Caballero, USN SFC Jose O. Calderon-Olmedo, USA Angelene C. Carter Sharon A. Carver SFC John J. Chada, USA, Retired Rosa Maria Chapa Julian T. Cooper LCDR Eric A. Cranford, USN Ada M. Davis CAPT Gerald F. DeConto, USN LTC Jerry D. Dickerson, USA IT1 Johnnie Doctor, Jr., USN CAPT Robert E. Dolan, Jr., USN CDR William H. Donovan, USN CDR Patrick Dunn, USN AG1 Edward T. Earhart, USN LCDR Robert R. Elseth, USNR SK3 Jamie L. Fallon, USN Amelia V. Fields Gerald P. Fisher AG2 Matthew M. Flocco, USN Sandra N. Foster CAPT Lawrence D. Getzfred, USN Cortez Ghee Brenda C. Gibson COL Ronald F. Golinski, USA, Retired Diane Hale-McKinzy Carolyn B. Halmon Sheila M.S. Hein ET1 Ronald J. Hemenway, USN MAJ Wallace Cole Hogan, Jr., USA SSG Jimmie I. Holley, USA, Retired Angela M. Houtz Brady Kay Howell Peggie M. Hurt LTC Stephen N. Hyland, Jr., USA Lt Col Robert J. Hymel, USAF, Retired SGM Lacey B. Ivory, USA LTC Dennis M. Johnson, USA Judith L. Jones Brenda Kegler LT Michael S. Lamana, USN David W. Laychak
    Samantha L. Lightbourn-Allen MAJ Stephen V. Long, USA James T. Lynch, Jr. Terence M. Lynch OS2 Nehamon Lyons IV, USN Shelley A. Marshall Teresa M. Martin Ada L. Mason-Acker LTC Dean E. Mattson, USA LTG Timothy J. Maude, USA Robert J. Maxwell Molly L. McKenzie Patricia E. Mickley MAJ Ronald D. Milam, USA Gerard P. Moran, Jr. Odessa V. Morris ET1 Brian A. Moss, USN Teddington H. Moy LCDR Patrick J. Murphy, USNR Khang Ngoc Nguyen DM2 Michael A. Noeth, USN Ruben S. Ornedo Diana B. Padro LT Jonas M. Panik, USNR MAJ Clifford L. Patterson, Jr., USA LT Darin H. Pontell, USNR
    Scott Powell CAPT Jack D. Punches, USN, Retired AW1 Joseph J. Pycior, Jr., USN Deborah A. Ramsaur Rhonda Sue Rasmussen IT1 Marsha D. Ratchford, USN Martha M. Reszke
    Cecelia E. (Lawson) Richard Edward V. Rowenhorst Judy Rowlett SGM Robert E. Russell, USA, Retired CW4 William R. Ruth, ARNG Charles E. Sabin, Sr. Marjorie C. Salamone COL David M. Scales, USA CDR Robert A. Schlegel, USN Janice M. Scott LTC Michael L. Selves, USA, Retired Marian H. Serva CDR Dan F. Shanower, USN Antionette M. Sherman Diane M. Simmons Cheryle D. Sincock ITC Gregg H. Smallwood, USN LTC Gary F. Smith, USA, Retired Patricia J. Statz Edna L. Stephens SGM Larry L. Strickland, USA LTC Kip P. Taylor, USA Sandra C. Taylor LTC Karl W. Teepe, USA, Retired SGT Tamara C. Thurman, USA LCDR Otis V. Tolbert, USN SSG Willie Q. Troy, USA, Retired LCDR Ronald J. Vauk, USNR LTC Karen J. Wagner, USA Meta L. (Fuller) Waller SPC Chin Sun Pak Wells, USA SSG Maudlyn A. White, USA Sandra L. White Ernest M. Willcher LCDR David L. Williams, USN MAJ Dwayne Williams, USA RMC Marvin Roger Woods, USN, Retired IT2 Kevin W. Yokum, USN ITC Donald M. Young, USN Edmond G. Young, Jr. Lisa L. Young

    Victims on American Airlines Flight 77


    Paul W. Ambrose Yeneneh Betru Mary Jane Booth Bernard C. Brown, II CAPT Charles F. Burlingame III, USNR, Retired Suzanne M. Calley William E. Caswell David M. Charlebois Sarah M. Clark Asia S. Cottom James D. Debeuneure Rodney Dickens
    Eddie A. Dillard LCDR Charles A. Droz III, USN, Retired Barbara G. Edwards Charles S. Falkenberg Dana Falkenberg Zoe Falkenberg J. Joseph Ferguson Darlene E. Flagg RADM Wilson F. Flagg, USNR, Retired 1st Lt Richard P. Gabriel, USMC, Retired Ian J. Gray Stanley R. Hall Michele M. Heidenberger Bryan C. Jack Steven D. Jacoby Ann C. Judge Chandler R. Keller Yvonne E. Kennedy Norma Cruz Khan Karen Ann Kincaid Dong Chul Lee Jennifer Lewis Kenneth E. Lewis Renee A. May Dora Marie Menchaca Christopher C. Newton Barbara K. Olson Ruben S. Ornedo Robert Penninger Robert R. Ploger III Zandra F. Ploger Lisa J. Raines Todd H. Reuben John P. Sammartino George W. Simmons Donald D. Simmons Mari-Rae Sopper Robert Speisman Norma Lang Steuerle Hilda E. Taylor Leonard E. Taylor Sandra D. Teague Leslie A. Whittington CAPT John D. Yamnicky, Sr., USN, Retired Vicki Yancey Shuyin Yang Yuguag Zheng

    List of Victims on United Airlines Flight 93


    Christian Adams Lorraine G. Bay Todd Beamer Alan Beaven Mark K. Bingham Deora Frances Bodley Sandra W. Bradshaw Marion Britton Thomas E. Burnett Jr. William Cashman Georgine Rose Corrigan Patricia Cushing Jason Dahl Joseph Deluca Patrick Driscoll Edward Porter Felt Jane C. Folger Colleen Fraser Andrew Garcia Jeremy Glick
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