Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Panic in Gunland, Part Two

     (It's hard to add on to Joe the Plumber's open letter to the parents of the UCSB shooting and stabbing victims that wasn't already addressed by TBogg at Raw Story. But never let it be said that ole JP didn't give it the college try.)

Dear Joe, Samuel, peckerhead or whatever name you're going by:

     Perhaps it's best if libertarian sociopaths such as you didn't attempt or feign empathy especially since a baseline of honest sympathy seems to be beyond your grasp. Because a right wing nut job attempting to forge a human connection is as doomed to failure as a fat dog walking on its hind legs: It ultimately fails but one is surprised to see it done for any length of time.
     What's even more surprising is why and how you still are given any relevance at all when your 15 minutes were up almost six years ago. You're like Mr. Clean's mentally-impaired twin brother, someone who should be locked in a padded attic and fed a bucket of fish heads daily but somehow still manages to escape and embarrass the family. That's why it mystifies me that your astoundingly heartless letter to the parents of the dead students had catapulted you, however briefly, to the middle of the pack on Twitter's trending topics.
     Were it not for the theoretical effect your screed would have on the parents of these six dead young people (all of whom being under the age of 24) even were they to note it, the attempt to make it all about you and your gun rights would be comical and could be dismissed completely out of hand as readily than as if you'd written this on the wall of your den in your own fecal matter.
     If I hear you right, then it seems your 2nd Amendment rights trump that of a certain Commandment (and the only one worth observing). Reflexively clutching your gun while these poor parents are busy making funeral arrangements for their children whose adult lives were just beginning, and even claiming the shooter was a Democrat and feigning restraint by stopping short of calling him "an Obama voter", reveals you to be of the identical mindset of the shooter himself.
     And I'm sure if we could resurrect young Elliot Rodger from the dead, he, too, would carp about his second amendment rights like the privileged white male he was and that you are. As it is, you've shown about as much respect for the victims and their grieving families as Rodger did in his final Youtube video.
     Therefore, in light of this and your ceaselessly partisan and shockingly ignorant conclusion that such mass shootings are carried out by registered Democrats when mountains of evidence suggest or prove otherwise, perhaps you ought to restrict your contacts with our species to the occasional gun show, completely ignored book signing or Tea Bagger rally where you charge people $5 a pop to shine your head with Butcher's Wax.
     In actuality, there is one or, at the most, two degrees of separation between you and people such as Elliot Rodger and the wouldbe Tides shooter, the white supremacist who shot up the Holocaust Museum and killed an African American guard, the homophobic whackjob who killed two people at a Unitarian Church and said that "liberals should die", the Jewish Center shooter from just last month, the Sikh Temple shooter from two years ago was another of your ilk and...
     Joe, do try to follow the bouncing ball. If you can't see a pattern emerging by now, then you seriously ought to refrain from getting within dangerous proximity to, much less actually using, any writing implements. You also need to refrain from attempts to interact with nice human beings who are now, in violation of everything that is natural, preparing to bury their children. Badgering them with your heartlessly ignorant partisan falsehoods verges on harassing grieving families who had committed no greater crime than in charging wet-legged politicians on both sides of the aisle with political cowardice in giving the NRA everything it demands and then some.
     And if you cannot even feign that much of a baseline of humanity, then gripping your beloved gun and letting loose with one under the chin is certainly a viable solution and no one would think any the less of you for doing so.
     Because, at this moment, no one with a heart or a brain can possibly think any less of you than we now do.

     Jurassicpork (Robert Crawford)
(Editor's note: I see that I got linked by the inestimable Tengrain at Crooks and Liars. If you liked what you read here, please, please, please consider making a donation to keep us afloat for another month. We'd deeply appreciate it. -JP)


At May 28, 2014 at 3:08 AM, Blogger Stan B. said...

Thanks for those last three posts. Good to know there are still some sane (and literate) people left out there.

Just a damn shame they're not in demand.

At May 28, 2014 at 5:34 PM, Blogger midgebaker said...

An Open Letter in Response to Joe The Gun-Toting Plumber on Mass Shootings & Gun Rights


What we don't have, but desperately need, is a mechanism to break the connection between those who are suffering from an emotional breaking point and high powered weapons. This may not prevent them acting out violently, or even in a deadly manner, but it's likely to greatly limit the amount of damage they can do to others or themselves. This wouldn't affect Your Guns or Your Rights unless YOU happen to have a habit of going around threatening to kill people, kill yourself or post Manifesto Videos on Youtube.

At May 30, 2014 at 1:43 PM, Anonymous CC said...

I wonder if Joe is enjoying his union job.


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