Monday, February 8, 2016

Because Banning Butt Sex is More Important Than Tainted Water

     There's a curiously fascistic strain in the Michigan GOP. An unimaginative wag would perhaps say it's due to something in the water but whatever the cause, the Michigan Republican Party is becoming indistinguishable from Hitler's Nazi party.
     Take this news item that just came screaming out of Lansing, Michigan/1930's Berlin, Germany: "Bill criminalizing anal and oral sex passes Michigan Senate." Like a typical Republican scumbag stealth legislator, the fat fuck above, one State Senator Rick Jones, inserted a rider in an animal cruelty bill that banned oral and anal sex between humans as well as animals. Because, you know, those consenting adults who love alternative sex are no different or better than them there bestialists.
     Michigan, it might be added, is one of the very few states left who actually have outdated laws on the books regarding anal and oral sex bans. The Supreme Court said such laws were unconstitutional and many states then got rid of theirs. But not Michigan.
     So what this asshole is saying is, "Oh, all right, you fags can get married but you can't have sex."
     To show what a craven piece of shit Jones is, he's playing the baby-with-the-bathwater card, saying, "If we could put a bill in that said anything that’s unconstitutional be removed from the legal books of Michigan, that’s probably something I could vote for, but am I going to mess up this dog bill that everybody wants? No." Despite the fact that it was him who'd inserted that poison pill into the bill just out of pure homophobic spite.
     Well gee willikers, Senator Jones, I've never heard of anyone who ever died of Legionnaire's Disease from gobbling lead-tainted semen. Now, Flint water, on the other hand... I mean, shouldn't you be spending the taxpayers' dime worrying about mostly black children dying from poisoned water?
     The language in this "dog bill" specific to human sexual intercourse is as follows: "A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature either with mankind or with any animal is guilty of a felony." Specifically, a penalty of up to 15 years.
     Granted, I haven't read the bill in its entirety (the .pdf version can be found here) but thus far I have not seen whether it seeks to prosecute both givers and receivers, if they are both equally egregious and lastly, how the hell would one enforce it? Obviously, one can't and it's just as obvious that this is a sop thrown to whatever evangelical nut jobs in the state contribute to Jones' and his fellow Michigan Republicans.
     What investigative body would be in charge of such an investigation? The Michigan Ministry of Weird Sex That We Obsess About? What would or would not be admissible as evidence? Would the prosecuted parties have used against them porno videos and who would watch them and how often until the facts were confirmed? Does this law ban men and women from engaging in this activity or is it gay-specific?
     And why are Republicans more obsessed with gay sex than most gay men?
     So fear not, people of Michigan. The state GOP literally has your backs to prevent any gay faggot bestialists from coming up behind you and subjecting you to animal butt sex
     There are probably a million things in Michigan that need to be fixed, starting with the Flint water crisis that killed ten innocents so Snyder could save a few bucks on tap water. They could be drafting articles of impeachment against Snyder and paving the way for him to get charged with ten counts of first degree murder (because, as he knew about the health risks in advance yet did nothing then hid the results and flouted EPA regulations, it was premeditated).
     But no. Let's stop the fags from having any kind of fun whatsoever after they get all gay married even if we have to appoint spies beneath all their bedroom windows and shoot porn videos without their knowledge or consent because that's the only way we can collect the evidence and enforce this worthy "dog law."

4 Comments:

At February 9, 2016 at 2:35 PM, Blogger MJ said...

Re: saving a buck - I saw a claim that the Flint water was about denying Detroit the funds from selling water to Flint more then getting cheaper water. It makes a certain, evil sense - once the emergency takeover rules are altered to allow easier takeovers of cities, then any funds you can deny to a solvent city can lead to quicker declaration of financial emergencies resulting in even more strip mining of various cities' resources.
But that is one red herring in a sea of craptitude. The Flint situation is criminal, so the latest thing is 'it's Obama's fault', apparently because Obama didn't force Snyder and friends to fix the problem once it had already hatched and fledged.

 
At February 9, 2016 at 3:22 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

MJ:

You want to know how big of a throbbing, vicious prick Rick Snyder is?

Michael Moore wrote on his blog that the only place in Flint that still got Lake Huron water was... GM! And why?

Their executives were complaining to Snyder that the Flint river water was so bad it was actually corroding the vehicles they were washing with it. So Snyder paid $440,000 to divert Lake Huron water back to GM while continuing to pump the sludge from the Flint River to the rest of the city.

An interesting addendum:

Even though Snyder blew nearly half a million bucks diverting that water to GM's plant, when he asked how much it would cost to implement federally mandated lead sealant into the water, he was told $9000 over the next year and a half. And he balked. So GM got to wash their inventory with clean water while the black people of Flint were forced to drink lead-impregnated yellow and brown sludge.

Republican priorities in action. IOKIYAR.

 
At February 10, 2016 at 2:25 AM, Blogger MJ said...

I had read comments about GM getting special treatment, so thanks for the details. That is pretty vicious, and incidentally blows the whole 'but we were just trying to save money' argument out of the water as well.

 
At February 10, 2016 at 2:29 AM, Anonymous CC said...

"...the Michigan Republican Party is becoming indistinguishable from Hitler's Nazi party."

I believe the Nazis did more to clean up their water supplies than Michigan did with Flint.

 

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