Because Banning Butt Sex is More Important Than Tainted Water

     There's a curiously fascistic strain in the Michigan GOP. An unimaginative wag would perhaps say it's due to something in the water but whatever the cause, the Michigan Republican Party is becoming indistinguishable from Hitler's Nazi party.
     Take this news item that just came screaming out of Lansing, Michigan/1930's Berlin, Germany: "Bill criminalizing anal and oral sex passes Michigan Senate." Like a typical Republican scumbag stealth legislator, the fat fuck above, one State Senator Rick Jones, inserted a rider in an animal cruelty bill that banned oral and anal sex between humans as well as animals. Because, you know, those consenting adults who love alternative sex are no different or better than them there bestialists.
     Michigan, it might be added, is one of the very few states left who actually have outdated laws on the books regarding anal and oral sex bans. The Supreme Court said such laws were unconstitutional and many states then got rid of theirs. But not Michigan.
     So what this asshole is saying is, "Oh, all right, you fags can get married but you can't have sex."
     To show what a craven piece of shit Jones is, he's playing the baby-with-the-bathwater card, saying, "If we could put a bill in that said anything that’s unconstitutional be removed from the legal books of Michigan, that’s probably something I could vote for, but am I going to mess up this dog bill that everybody wants? No." Despite the fact that it was him who'd inserted that poison pill into the bill just out of pure homophobic spite.
     Well gee willikers, Senator Jones, I've never heard of anyone who ever died of Legionnaire's Disease from gobbling lead-tainted semen. Now, Flint water, on the other hand... I mean, shouldn't you be spending the taxpayers' dime worrying about mostly black children dying from poisoned water?
     The language in this "dog bill" specific to human sexual intercourse is as follows: "A person who commits the abominable and detestable crime against nature either with mankind or with any animal is guilty of a felony." Specifically, a penalty of up to 15 years.
     Granted, I haven't read the bill in its entirety (the .pdf version can be found here) but thus far I have not seen whether it seeks to prosecute both givers and receivers, if they are both equally egregious and lastly, how the hell would one enforce it? Obviously, one can't and it's just as obvious that this is a sop thrown to whatever evangelical nut jobs in the state contribute to Jones' and his fellow Michigan Republicans.
     What investigative body would be in charge of such an investigation? The Michigan Ministry of Weird Sex That We Obsess About? What would or would not be admissible as evidence? Would the prosecuted parties have used against them porno videos and who would watch them and how often until the facts were confirmed? Does this law ban men and women from engaging in this activity or is it gay-specific?
     And why are Republicans more obsessed with gay sex than most gay men?
     So fear not, people of Michigan. The state GOP literally has your backs to prevent any gay faggot bestialists from coming up behind you and subjecting you to animal butt sex
     There are probably a million things in Michigan that need to be fixed, starting with the Flint water crisis that killed ten innocents so Snyder could save a few bucks on tap water. They could be drafting articles of impeachment against Snyder and paving the way for him to get charged with ten counts of first degree murder (because, as he knew about the health risks in advance yet did nothing then hid the results and flouted EPA regulations, it was premeditated).
     But no. Let's stop the fags from having any kind of fun whatsoever after they get all gay married even if we have to appoint spies beneath all their bedroom windows and shoot porn videos without their knowledge or consent because that's the only way we can collect the evidence and enforce this worthy "dog law."