After a long, soul-searching meeting with family members today, Mr. Donald Trump decided to fire his campaign manager
Corey Lewandowski. Mr. Lewandowski's stewardship of the flailing Trump presidential campaign had been fraught with controversy ranging from misogyny, intimidation tactics and even allegedly assaulting a female reporter from Breitbart. The move came suddenly, signaling a major Trump shakeup from top to bottom. The Trump campaign has not released any reasons for Mr. Lewandowski's sudden termination but some have been leaked to the internet. What were they?
10) Lewandowski fell behind on beating up reporters quota.
9) Staffer found in his office a one way, first class plane ticket to Argentina dated November 9th.
8) Circulated memo to entire campaign strenuously urging everyone to wear brown shirts.
7) Trump increasingly discomfited with Lewandowski's stiff arm salute.
6) Leaked on Facebook that if Trump won the presidency, he'd take the oath on a copy of Mein Kampf.
5) Lewandowski had bought domain names such as www.boysfromBrazil.com.
4) Signature line on emails changed last week to, "Why won't he love me?!"
3) Had personally banned so many media outlets from Trump events all that was left was the Veritas Project, Prison Planet and that homeless guy on the corner with the cardboard sign proclaiming, "THE END IS NEAR!!"
2) Trump campaign belatedly discovered Lewandowski's additions to Trump speeches were ver batim quotes from Adolph Hitler and George Lincoln Rockwell.
1) Unable to break irritating habit of goosestepping through office and calling Mr. Trump "Fuhrer."