From Russia With Love
first presser in almost six months was everything as advertised: Lots of sound and fury, signifying nothing. All that was missing were for the table to his right to be conspicuously loaded with Trump water, Trump steaks and plastered on the flags behind him fake degrees from Trump University.
And I'm just taking a stab in the dark here but I suspect more than one Trump voter is getting this uneasy feeling with which one would see a toddler next door picking up his father's loaded handgun. You know it'll wind up badly for someone but you're confident it won't be you.
And Trump's press conference was a masterpiece of obfuscation, surpassing many of his previous lows: Here are just some of the highlights:
He almost threw out a CNN reporter whom he wouldn't allow to ask a question.
He referred to himself in the third person at least three times.
He called a mainstream media outlet (Buzzfeed) "garbage" for publishing a report about him getting golden shower shows from Russian prostitutes. Oh, and he also denounced "fake news", despite one of his top aides, incoming National Security advisor Micheal Flynn and his son being ardent fans of it.
He flatly denied having any involvement with Russia whatsoever despite him acting like Vladimir Putin's Manchurian Candidate.
And it took the US intelligence community's abject failure in proving that Russia had influenced the election at all to give Trump today even a passing relationship with the truth.
That's right, folks. He said he had no involvement with Russia despite his having made millions through real estate deals in which millions of transactions had been made and the former head of his campaign, Paul Manafort and his slimy secret deals with pro-Russian factions. At this point, the only things that's left is for Trump to offer to make the United States a non-contiguous part of the Russian Federation.
Then, when Trump wasn't pulling out his flaccid penis with his diminutive hands and seeing if he could cum all over his teleprompter, he admitted after his briefing with intelligence officials that Russia may have done the hacking. This was before when yesterday he bellowed on his Twitter account they were flat out wrong that Russia had dirt on him.
Then he contradicted that by saying it could have been other actors who'd done the hacking.
And by tonight or tomorrow he'll find a way to contradict both of those contradictory statements.
In summation, it's only fitting that a professional fraud like Donald Trump would have to imitate art in the form of this 1958 western that seemed to predict Trump.
(Bonus question: How the fuck is building a wall going to protect anyone from a falling meteorite?)