Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Secret Life of Walter Shitty

(Photoshopped pic courtesy of Alicia Morgan of Hootersville.)

Blogger. Pundit. Television and radio personality. Agent provocateur. Patriot. He's a right wing Renaissance man, the unthinking man's Walter Mitty. He's Hal Turner, a failed Rush Limbaugh wannabe who couldn't even with his readership keep on the air a short wave internet radio show done from his home in North Bergen, NJ. About the only thing this mentally diseased bipedaled pachyderm has in common with el Rushbo is an infallible aptitude for gaining weight.

However much it may be an accurate indictment of the stupidity of 27% of our nation, Limbaugh nonetheless enjoys Arbitron ratings even higher than him during his Oxycontin addiction, huge paychecks and you'd be hard-pressed to find any Republican on Capitol Hill who wouldn't break his neck in the middle of a Committee meeting or even a vote to take his call. As morally and mentally putrified as he is, ya still gotta give the man his due: He still rates and rates high with the GOP and will continue to do so for years to come.

Hal Turner is the hard, bitter kernel of antebellum racism and intolerance who appeals only to the hard, bitter kernel of what's left of his anachronistic ilk. He's a walrus-sized pleco, sucking on the glass of his invisible cage and, until yesterday, subsisting on the intellectual algae of the tiniest fraction of this 27%, a human only by some generous anthropological definition.

Surely, the First Amendment doesn't apply to this cancer of human thought.

Yet, it's men like James Moore, who merely co-wrote Bush's Brain, a book critical of Bush and Karl Rove, one that contains not a single death threat against either man or any member of Congress, who is on a terrorist watch list that prevents him from flying the friendly skies.

While countless tens of thousands of innocent, law-abiding citizens got capriciously and senselessly vacuumed up wholesale between 2001-2009 into this list partly through federal air marshals pressured to make quota, while people are arrested and charged with terrorism simply for aiming a laser pointer at a jet...

...Hal Turner, a morally and mentally palsied maggot who's threatened presidents and members of Congress and who'd published instructions for making ricin and bombs, has somehow escaped the transportation officials of our paranoid, hypervigilant, racial profiling post-9/11 nation.

And this happened... how?

Wasn't the USA PATRIOT Act and Jane Harmon's HR 1955 supposed to, in theory, protect us from homegrown terrorists just like Turner?

Here's a link to contact information for Homeland Security. While you're at it, here's another for a Secret Service field office in your locality (including Hal's). Regarding the TSA (now the Transportation Security and not Safety Administration), this is their contact information for security concerns: Phone: 1-866-289-9673 E-mail: TSA-ContactCenter@dhs.gov.

I say we make the system work for us for a change instead of against us. So let's report this fat fuck before he finally does grow a set because, frankly, his last post gave me the willies.


At February 17, 2009 at 8:17 AM, Blogger Jeffrey Smith said...

I'd never heard of the man until this morning. Just visited his blog. The parts you're referring to are bad enough, but did anyone notice that post about the German shepherd killing the racoon, tucked in right between the worst parts? Something about that makes me very nervous.

At February 17, 2009 at 8:37 AM, Blogger Dr. Know said...

My Plecos demand that you cease and desist with comparisons to Mr. Jersey City Sludge.

They get along peacefully with all tank denizens, with the exception of the red-tail sharks who try and steal their soylent green wafers.

Hal, like so much bio-sludge that flows across the Hudson from Greater Manhattan, is simply another foul stench which proliferates from the cloisters and tenebrous shadows of Wall Street.

At February 17, 2009 at 4:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That douchebag mutherfucking cocksucker and his knuckledragger follows can't die in a hail of police bullets fast enough for my taste.

I'm sure Mr. Pork is in NO mood for them.

If you need backup, I'm right across your southern border.

At February 17, 2009 at 4:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"but did anyone notice that post about the German shepherd killing the racoon, tucked in right between the worst parts?"

Yeah,I did. By the tone of it,it seemed allegorical. And,it seemed he blew a load in his pants when typing that shit. If, he was wearing pants at all....

At February 17, 2009 at 5:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"And this happened... how?"

Simple, he's a Republican.

You must have noticed that Republicans are not accountable to any law ever written.

Democrats that tell the truth, like James Moore, are terrorists, Republicans that exhort their followers to make ricin are Patriots and pillars of the community.

Republican politicians have been eagerly violating the Constitution of the United States since before Reagan sold weapons to the Iranians, before Bush Sr sold weaponized bubonic plague to Saddam Hussein. Since they are Republicans, that is not illegal.

Democratic politicians are called traitors for trying to prevent the Republicans from destroying the American economy. Democratic politicians receive death threats for merely suggesting that maybe government should not be used to gleefully impoverish it's citizens.

Since Turner represents the leading edge of right-of-center media, and most media is controlled by extremists, his viewpoint IS mainstream.

Until the media stops intentionally lying to the American citizen, Turner and his followers will continue to gain adherents. They are at 27% now, and still growing steadily.

At February 17, 2009 at 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the time this pitiful coward grows a pair bigger than a gnat the sun will have gone nova and it won't really matter.

At February 17, 2009 at 11:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For anyone who hasn't been back to visit Hal today, this is what he has to say:

"Now that a particular dingbat from Hudson, MA has annoyed me sufficiently, I have to annoy him back. So I'll be reaching out to some of my Nazi Skinheads, Aryan Nations and Ku Klux Klan friends and put together a . . . . . . field trip . . . . to Massachusetts. This ought to be fun.

We'll take pics to circulate after its "done."

Seems our boy's feeling a bit irritated with JP.

At February 18, 2009 at 7:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just before I divorced the ditzy bitch, her boyfriend pulled a pistol on me and threatened to kill me. I reported the incident to the police and they sent a patrol car to my house. I was informed that there was nothing they could do, even though he had pointed a loaded 45 at me. That left me with one choice. After the police left, I called the scumbag and told him how impressed I was with his pistol and asked him if he’d like a demonstration of the accuracy and range of my old 30-30. Problem solved. I’m sure you have the situation under control, but if you need a little help, I'm with Duros62, just shout.

At February 18, 2009 at 7:54 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

The part about taking pictures after it's done was a new addition.

I'll send them back to Hal in a pine box they come on my property.

At February 18, 2009 at 12:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My dear Pork,

You've been a one-man jihad against this guy for days now. Don't get me wrong I agree that he's a Bad Man with a Big Mouth who really shouldn't be allowed to say this crap, even in country that claims to have "freedom of speech". But you have got to settle down or you're gonna burst a blood vessel someplace important.

At February 18, 2009 at 1:04 PM, Blogger Alicia Morgan said...

Damn - what a vile waste of oxygen! What a loathsome turd. To read him is to retch.


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