Sunday, October 26, 2008

Letter From a Wingnut, 2012


Can't you smell the Republican flop sweat in the air? You can just stick out your tongue and drink the desperation from James Dobson's snake handlers that drenches the air like summer humidity. And Republicans of all agendas understand that when all else fails, when your boob who's currently on the stump can suck a baseball through 100 feet of garden hose, you can always fall back on bigotry and homophobia. Huzzah for fear!

From some geniuses over at Focus on the Family Action comes "Letter From a Christian 2012 in Obama's America." It can be found in a .pdf format here if you can stand to be in James "Last of the Dog Beaters" Dobson's official website. It's been burning up the right side of the blogosphere through emails and has been generously linked on worthy sites such as World Nut Daily and WomenforPalin.

This science fiction scenario that's worthy of gold medal-winning psychopath Tim LaHaye proposes these changes under an Obama presidency:
* Six liberal justices sit on the Supreme Court after the immediate resignation of John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the later resignations of Antonin Scalia and Anthony Kennedy.
* Homosexual marriage has been ruled a constitutional right that must be respected by all 50 states.
* The Boy Scouts have disbanded rather than obey a decision forcing them to allow homosexual scoutmasters. (The Scouts already had been kicked out of public facilities because of an expansion of the 1964 Civil Rights Act to cover people who engage in homosexual behavior.)
* Elementary schools have compulsory training in varieties of gender identity. Courts rule parents cannot opt out their children, because the training is deemed essential to psychological health.
* Evangelical and Catholic adoption agencies cease to exist after the Supreme Court rules they must agree to place children with homosexuals or lose their licenses.
* Church buildings are now considered a "public accommodation" by the United States Supreme Court, and churches have no freedom to refuse to allow their buildings to be used for wedding ceremonies for homosexual couples.
* High schools are no longer free to allow "see you at the pole" meetings where students pray together or any student Bible studies even before or after school.
* The Supreme Court barred public schools in all 50 states from allowing churches to rent their facilities, even on Sundays, when school was not in session.
* Obama signed the Freedom of Choice Act, as he promised the Planned Parenthood Action Fund last year, nullifying hundreds of state laws that had created even the slightest barrier to abortion.
* The Supreme Court in 2011 nullified all Federal Communications Commission restrictions on obscene speech or visual content in radio and TV broadcasts, and television programs at all hours of the day now contain explicit portrayals of sexual acts.
* As a result of a reversal of its 5-4 decision in the D.C. gun-ownership case, it is now illegal for private citizens to own guns for self-defense in eight states, and the number is growing with increasing Democratic control of state legislatures and governorships
* Parents' freedom to teach their children at home has been severely restricted nationwide after the Supreme Court followed the legal reasoning of a Feb. 28, 2008, ruling by the Second District Court of Appeal in California.

Throw in the destruction of right wing hate radio through the "Fairness Doctrine" and Obama's campaign promise to get us out of Iraq once and for all within the first 16 months of his administration resulting in terrorists pouring into Iraq from Iran and Syria and you have everything you need to know about how panicked the Christopaths are that there won't be a Palin/McCain administration.

Apparently, when Sarah Palin was cuckolded on McCain's dysfunctional campaign, everything that Dobson said about McCain last February suddenly was no longer relevant. Not the temper tantrums, the foul language, the stance on issues that McCain still hasn't gotten around to reversing.

Sarah Palin has once again made John McCain look respectable enough to be our next Commander in Chief, civilized him, made him godly enough to pass muster on the seedy starboard side of the tracks.

And then, once McCain was successfully reinstalled closer to heaven, it was time to attack Obama in the 11th hour of this election. It was time for a hypothetical scenario in which the Boy Scouts voluntarily disbanded rather than sleeping with homosexual scoutmasters.

Gay marriage will be foisted off on all 50 states, in spite of the fact that both Obama and Biden have categorically stated that they're both against gay marriage.

The only welcome prophecies in this unbelievable screed is the end of right wing hate radio and the resignation of Antonin Scalia.

This 16 page screed left my brain number than an Inuit's nuts during a cold snap. If you dare, click on the link above and read the thing in full if you feel like giving yourself a literary lobotomy. This is sheer wingnuttery at its finest and well worth keeping in mind four years from now when Obama runs for reelection.

7 Comments:

At October 26, 2008 at 12:21 PM, Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

yeah baby,

there's a great shirt that is often sold at the pow-wows.

it pictures geronimo, sitting bull, quanah parker and chief joseph.

underneath their pictures it says
"Your enemies
Our heroes"

on the back it has custer, sherman, columbus and kit carson. underneath them it says:

"Your heroes
Our enemies
Your heroes"

i could get me a dobson shirt that says:

Your hell
My paradise.

 
At October 26, 2008 at 6:18 PM, Blogger Philip said...

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay god god gun god gay gay gay abortion gay gay gay gun gay god gay gay gay gay

 
At October 26, 2008 at 8:01 PM, Blogger phrodo said...

Is it bad that I actually find a lot of these "predictions" good things to happen?

 
At October 26, 2008 at 10:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ya know....Call me crazy....But sometimes ya gotta wonder. I look around my city and see multitudes of empty retail space. I see crumbling infrastructure. I see for sale signs on homes less than 3 years old....And.... I see shitloads of NEW churches springing up. Ornate and elaborate churches. Some seemingly have hardly a genuine congregation. Where's the money coming from? Ever wonder if there is/was a secret pact made between American cocaine distributors,the republican party,and certain churches and so called christian organizations? Because from some of the shit that some of these folks (Dobson, et al) say....You'd think they've been dipping into and using the merchandise themselves.

 
At October 26, 2008 at 10:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

After taking a quick peek at that shit. I'm convinced. Dobson,et al....They're all cokeheads.

 
At October 27, 2008 at 1:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How much time do you spend thinking about teh gay, and teh kidsex? Probably not all that much. Because you're relatively well-adjusted and not obsessed with thoughts of perversion. Ratfuckers like Dobson just can't get it out of their minds because that's all they can think about. It's like an itch with them, a crotch itch. They might pretend not to like scratching it, but it gives them pleasure.

 
At March 25, 2012 at 9:27 AM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Well, folks, here we are, four years later in 2012. Have any of these predictions come to pass? Hardly. In fact, they were so far off the mark that Focus in the Fags actually removed the .pdf file of this piece of political science fiction foisted off on us by Dobby. It was that embarrassing.

 

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