Saturday, May 23, 2009


Wingnut radio host Erich Muller thought he could last 60 seconds or more of waterboarding. He thought it would be a walk in the park, no worse than being dunked in a tank at a summer carnival.

He thought wrong.

"Mancow" lasted a total of six seconds before throwing aside his little inflatable cow, his safe signal for, "Get me the fuck out of this!"

He had to admit that waterboarding is "absolutely torture" and that if he'd known it would be that bad, he would've wussed out. This is pretty typical for big, badass Republicans who so lack empathy, who are so incapable of putting themselves into other peoples' shoes that it warps their perception. Muller must have known what waterboarding entailed. He must have known the head is tilted back and that the water runs down the mouth and the nose.

Once again, it is not simulated drowning. It is interrupted drowning. A mere description of the process tells me I would not wish to be subjected to such torture. I already know it is torture. It's worse than that- it's attempted murder. And Muller had to experience it firsthand before reality rudely invaded his sinus cavity.

So I imagine we'll be seeing Sean Hannity following in his footsteps, no? Sean? Sean?? Bueller?


At May 23, 2009 at 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well he lasted 6/7 seconds. I wonder if he'll be fired from his brand of hate radio? He comes up for air and says it's torture,Duh.

At May 23, 2009 at 6:54 PM, Blogger Jill said...

I'll give him credit for allowing reality to get in the way of his ideology. Most of these lunatics don't. Let's see if it lasts. Olbermann is having him on next week to give his veterans organization the check he promised Hannity, who's still too chickenshit to put his money where his piehole is. I can't wait.

At May 23, 2009 at 8:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about 183 times ?

Next up:

Chainey Boi

And the attorney's that say
it's not torture....

If they are the MEN they claim
Let's see how TOUGH they are !

At May 23, 2009 at 8:08 PM, Blogger Bukko_in_Australia said...

Although I spend a lot of time listening to left-wing talk radio, I don't know much about the visual side of its reich-wing counterpart, aside from Limpball's smirking fatness. It was instructive to see the posters of "Man-cow" on the walls and the music/graphics on the YouTube (which I assume was put together by his org.) It's all about making this mook look tough -- dark, brooding eyes on the poster, grim mouth surrounded by a Satanic moustache and mug... (I always thought that facial hairstyle seemed Satanic, at least.) The music -- short chops of jarring metal -- ooh, badarse, baybee!

But what is this guy, really? A snarly, scowly softening-as-he-approaches-middle-age poseur. He probably won some bar fights in college. He probably screams at his staff and his wife. I reckon he's intimidating to people who are easily intimidated.

But I compare Man-Sow to the guy who poured the water. (a Marine? where did he learn this shit, anyway? Is that common practice in training? If so, expect to see it in prisons and police stations all over America before long.) He's got big arms, broad shoulders and hard hands that could easily squeeze someone's neck until their eyeballs popped. He's assuredly dangerous, and knows he is. So he doesn't have to go around projecting menace like this faker Scam-Cow.

Deep down, these reich-wingers are scared babies. They project an air of toughness, but that's to cover the fact that they're quivering over the thought of big bad terrrrrrrists coming to rip them from their soft materialistic wombs. Poosay, poosay poosay!!!

I look forward to the day when the economy drops so much that small-fry talkers like him lose their ridiculous hateradio gigs and have to struggle to find productive work. We'll see how tough you are then, Man-Blow, when you're foreclosed out of YOUR house. Can you do anything that's of value to society?

At May 23, 2009 at 8:21 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Well, like Jill said, give him enough credit for confronting and acknowledging the facts. That's more than you could expect from a lot of conservative dingbats.

But this clown's obscurity doesn't do our cause any justice. As Jill, once again, pointed out, five star wingnuts like Hannity and el Rushbo would never think to subject themselves to the indignity of getting wet and shown up on national TV.

At May 23, 2009 at 8:38 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Bukko: You want to email me? I lost your damned email address again.

At May 24, 2009 at 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, Mancow pulled a stunt in SF some years ago- after the brouhaha about Bill Clinton stopping air traffic in LAX so he could get a haircut, Mancow set up a haircut for himself in the middle of the Bay Bridge during the morning rush hour, and totally fucked up traffic. The station he was working for fired his ass.

This latest stunt may have restored his karma, but he's still a radio douchebag, just not on Wiener-Savage level.


PS- JP, got any more Bone Bridge? Check your PP.

At May 24, 2009 at 11:54 AM, Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

i'm surprised he lasted that long. the thing about the waterboard torture (there's nothing enhanced or euphemisable about it) is that it provokes a body response.

even if you know, like i did in SERE, that they can't kill you or do permanent damage, the panic response is triggered, all the neurotransmitters which are part of the autonomic nervous system flood your body, except you can't breathe or get loose.

i lasted 20 minutes to much acclaim from the sadistic fucks who were "training" me. i ended my session by puking on one of them, in the ensuing confusion i managed to grab one of those piece of shit motherfuckers by the balls, twisting and pulling ensued.

my favorite memory of SERE is watching the ambulance coming to haul his writhing ass away.

At May 24, 2009 at 12:08 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Christ on a rubber crutch, dude, 20 minutes>??? You are hardcore.

Luckily for relative wusses like me, SERE was optional. I'd heard too many stories about SERE at Coronado Island to make me enthusiastic about signing up for that Marquis de Sade bullshit.

At May 24, 2009 at 3:47 PM, Blogger Distributorcap said...

hannity, rush and cheeeeeney (the lynne pronounciation) know better not to undergo the waterboard - they KNOW it is torture - they just dont care - they dont care about rule of law, they only care about hating......

sad thing is we are tortured as a planet everything one of those three move there diaphragm (and not that diaphragm)

At May 24, 2009 at 4:26 PM, Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

where i was going, SERE was not optional.

the whole thing was a stupid clusterfuck from the jump. first off, two friends and i had successfully evaded the green beret pretty boys that were trying to hunt us. for a kid born and raised on the apache rez staying away from those noisy idiots was a piece of cake. we hunkered down in hidey holes for three hours, waited for the search perimeter to expand past us, then we hunted them. 12 hours and four "kills" later we were at the safe zone. then they trussed us up and took us to the camp anyway, saying "everybody gets caught."

at the camp we were identified as hard cases. the only part of that they got wrong was they left out the nutcase part with me. i had my mad on. they "counseled" me by telling me i was trying to commit suicide by guard. i told him that his sister needed lessons on giving good head. that got me roughed up, but it wasn't anything close to what i had gone through at BUDS.

i spent 3 days pretty much trussed up to a pole. when ever they gave me water i made sure to spit at them. i kept singing desmond dekker's "the isrealites" over and over.

i left SERE with a determination to never, ever, under any circumstance, allow capture. i would make it cost and trouble expense effective to kill me quick.


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