Sunday, August 30, 2009

A "Real American" Holiday


(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari.)

I've never linked to an open thread before but Blue Gal's open thread on Crooks and Liars last night is absolutely an exception I must make.

August 29th has proven to be a date of many anniversaries. Yesterday was the day we eulogized Ted Kennedy in Roxbury, Massachusetts. John McCain spent much of his 73rd birthday at his colleague's memorial service. And, of course, McCain four years ago found a way to get some partying time in with his ideological baton mate George W. Bush on the day Hurricane Katrina made landfall.

Yet August 29th marks yet another anniversary and it has nothing to do with the late Sen. Kennedy or John McCain's birthday or Hurricane Katrina. Our colleagues on the other side of the Grand Canyonesque Great Divide have chosen to commemorate not just August 29th, to not merely celebrate it with hoopla and heartfelt Huzzahs but to even give it a name:

Sarah Palin Day.

Huh? Was yesterday also the former Alaska Governor's birthday? Nopers. August 29th was the first anniversary of John McCain officially announcing Sarah Palin as his Dick Cheney.

Liberals and conservatives both commemorate August 29th. The former (this year excepted because of Sen. Kennedy's passing) solemnly remember the day Katrina began tearing apart the Gulf Coast. The latter celebrate the day Sarah Palin was introduced as John McCain's running mate. Aside from the date, the only other thing our two sides have in common is observing the beginning of a catastrophic defeat for the Republican Party.

Yet, in an absurd way, Sarah Palin's 9 week-long whirlwind tour of America actually won back some votes that the GOP had surely lost during the previous 36 months. Sarah Palin had actually energized a base, bringing back into the campaign of a man who cut a cake with a still-vacationing George W. Bush the day the deadliest hurricane in 36 years slammed into the Gulf Coast.

One with reasonable cognitive functions will surely wonder why Sarah Palin's elevation to the national stage rates commemoration over that of the most horrendous natural national catastrophe since Galveston. Citing skewed priorities only addresses the disconnect but as xenobiologists struggling to understand a new alien life form, some of us can grope toward theories.

Palin's Gidget on PCP charm resonated with a disturbingly large percentage of shrieking, gun-toting, Old Testament-slapping racist gargoyles who were artificially validated and fooled into thinking they constituted "the Real America." It was the demented glee glub of McCain's incomplete and reluctant base and their hatred of McCain's opponent actually took him aback.

Sarah Palin, a product of a novel that could have been co-authored by Horatio Alger and Stephen King, was the Pied Piper of Wasilla, a charmer of bipedaled vermin who were willing to follow her siren song back onto a ship that had already hit the iceberg.

Mustering such massive amounts of willful ignorance and sheer, ineducable stupidity that endures one year later is an impossible task for us to imagine. Yet it was obvious from the gitgo that McCain was really the doddering old fool to her Anna Nicole Smith. At best, McCain was regarded as a broken down Trojan Horse whose primary function was to infiltrate the White House with their millenarian matriarch in tow and then have the courtesy and consideration to drop dead on Inauguration Day.

It didn't matter to them and still doesn't matter now how comically unfit she was for even the glorified sinecure of the vice presidency. It never occurs to our colleagues on the right that we would've seen a political marriage made in hell, that Palin would've co-opted, contradicted and otherwise undermined practically every doddering step of a McCain presidency.

It didn't matter to them and still doesn't matter now that she pals around with terrorist witch hunters or that she drained the dwindling coffers of the McCain campaign with clothes shopping sprees that were exceeded only by Imelda Marcos or the corrupt former President of Zambia.

It didn't matter to them and still doesn't matter now to our opponents that she chose to cut and run from token criticism and a lame duck administration when she was perfectly able to run for a second gubernatorial term or that she'd used in Hezbollah/Hamas/al Qaeda fashion at least three of her kids and her grandson as human shields for cheap political points.

The ones trying to create this extra-Hallmark holiday based on a rushed, coerced and astoundingly ignorant choice on McCain's part are very likely the same ones who were short-stroking to the words of people such as Neal Boortz, Rush Limbaugh and several of our most hateful Republican legislators who'd more or less succeeded in transforming the Gulf Coast's 1800 fatalities from victims to self-euthanizing underachievers and fuckups.

In the end, it can only be theorized that these apocalyptic, End of Days yahoos voted not their informed conscience but Sarah Palin's reactionary, uninformed one. Setting up her little tent under the much larger big top of McCain's and fooling these born again fans of revelations (You can call them either rebirthers or Revelers) into thinking that they were under the real Big Top is one of the biggest con jobs in presidential electoral history. They were swindled into thinking they were "the Real America" by an anti-American separatist just as the poor blacks of New Orleans were swindled into thinking they, too, were part of real America. It's a real America that will never quite divest itself of the urge to make itself a little bit whiter, a little bit more like Palin's fabled "Real America."

1 Comments:

At August 30, 2009 at 9:13 PM, Blogger daveawayfromhome said...

Already got a post pencilled in for next year, just so I dont forget. This one will be fun until 2012, unless God really does hate us and we actually make that damn ignoramous our president.

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

All Time Classics

  • Our Worse Half: The 25 Most Embarrassing States.
  • The Missing Security Tapes From the World Trade Center.
  • It's a Blunderful Life.
  • The Civil War II
  • Sweet Jesus, I Hate America
  • Top Ten Conservative Books
  • I Am Mr. Ed
  • Glenn Beck: Racist, Hate Monger, Comedian
  • The Ten Worst Music Videos of all Time
  • Assclowns of the Week

  • Links to the first 33 Assclowns of the Week.
  • Links to Assclowns of the Week 38-63.
  • #99: Dr. Strangehate edition
  • #98: Get Bentghazi edition
  • #97: SNAPping Your Fingers at the Poor edition
  • #96: Treat or Treat, Kiss My Ass edition
  • #95: Monumental Stupidity double-sized edition
  • #94: House of 'Tards edition
  • #93: You Da Bomb! edition.
  • #92: Akin to a Fool edition.
  • #91: Aurora Moronealis edition.
  • #90: Keep Your Gubmint Hands Off My High Pre'mums and Deductibles! edition.
  • #89: Occupy the Catbird Seat/Thanksgiving edition.
  • #88: Heil Hitler edition.
  • #87: Let Sleeping Elephants Lie edition.
  • #86: the Maniacs edition.
  • #85: The Top 50 Assclowns of 2010 edition.
  • #(19)84: Midterm Madness edition.
  • #83: Spill, Baby, Spill! edition.
  • #82: Leave Corporations Alone, They’re People! edition.
  • #81: Hatin' on Haiti edition.
  • #80: Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist edition.
  • #79: Top 50 Assclowns of 2009 edition.
  • #78: Nattering Nabobs of Negativism edition.
  • #77: ...And Justice For Once edition.
  • #76: Reading Tea Leaves/Labor Day edition.
  • #75: Diamond Jubilee/Inaugural Edition
  • #74: Dropping the Crystal Ball Edition
  • #73: The Twelve Assclowns of Christmas Edition
  • #72: Trick or Treat Election Day Edition
  • #71: Grand Theft Autocrats Edition
  • #70: Soulless Corporations and the Politicians Who Love Them Edition
  • Top 10 LA Radio Shows That Are Rated Higher Than Rush Limbaugh's
  • Top 10 Reasons Operation American Spring Went Flat
  • Top Ten Facts of the MH370 Air Disaster
  • Top 10 Tips for GOP Congressmen Running Against Women
  • Top 10 Signs Walmart's Mistreating its Workers
  • Top 10 Diversions John McCain Found During Syria Hearing
  • Top 10 George Zimmerman Excuses for Speeding.
  • Top 10 Reasons Paula Deen Got Fired by the Food Network
  • Top Ten Ways Pope Francis is Deviating From Convention
  • Top 10 Reasons For the Pope's Resignation
  • Top 10 Emails Hacked From the Bush Family's Email Accounts
  • Top 10 Lies Told by Mitt Romney at the 2nd Debate.
  • Top 10 Examples of How Hard the Campaign Trail is on Ann D. Romney.
  • Top 10 Ways to Tell The Boston Red Sox Are Finished.
  • Top 10 Things Mitt May be Hiding in His Tax Returns.
  • Top 10 Events at the Romney Olympics.
  • Mitt Romney's Top 10 Wild & Crazy Moments.
  • Top Ten Reasons Why Dick Cheney Got a Heart Transplant.
  • Top 10 Facts About Tonight's New England/Denver Game.
  • My Top 10 Resolutions.
  • Top 10 Rejected Slogans of the Romney Campaign.
  • Top 10 Reasons Herman Cain Suspended His Campaign.
  • Top 10 Trending Topics on Twitter During #OWS Eviction.
  • Top 10 Herman Cain Pickup Lines.
  • Top 10 Changes Since Anthony Weiner Decided to Resign.
  • Top 10 Inaccuracies re bin Laden's Death.
  • Top 10 Ways to Prevent a TSA Patdown.
  • Top Ten Things Not to Say When You're Pulled Over.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why Donald Trump Bowed Out of the Presidential Race.
  • Top 10 Ways Evangelicals Will Prepare for the Rapture II.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Today's Parliament Inquiry into News Corp.
  • Top 10 Reasons Why There Was No Vote on the Debt Ceiling Last Night.
  • Top 10 Revelations in Dick Cheney's Upcoming Memoir.
  • Top Ten Ways Americans Will Observe the 10th Anniversary of 9/11.
  • Top Ten Advances in Women's Rights in Saudi Arabia.
  • Top Ten Inaccuracies in Bill O'Reilly's Book About Lincoln.
  • Top Ten Suggestions From the Cat Food Commission.
  • Top Ten Worst Moments in George W. Bush's Presidency.
  • Top Ten Facts in George W. Bush's Memoir.
  • Top Ten Reasons Terry Jones Postponed His Koran Burning
  • Top 10 Causes for Dick Cheney's Congestive Heart Failure
  • Top Ten Ways That Jan Brewer Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo
  • Top Ten Demands in Sarah Palin's Contract
  • Top Ten Whoppers in Karl Rove's New Book
  • Top 10 Items Left Behind in Rush Limbaugh's Apartment
  • Top Ten Things Barack Obama said to Rush Limbaugh in the Hospital
  • Top Ten Bizarre Promos Offered by the New Jersey Nets
  • Top 10 Bush Executive Orders Labor Wants President Obama to Repeal
  • George W. Bush's Top Ten Lesser Achievements
  • Boolean Bozoism

  • #19
  • #18
  • #17
  • #16
  • #15
  • #14
  • #13
  • #11
  • #10
  • Empire Of The Senseless.
  • Christwire.org: Conservative Values for an Unsaved World.
  • Esquire's Charles Pierce.
  • Brilliant @ Breakfast.
  • The Burning Platform.
  • The Rant.
  • Mock, Paper, Scissors.
  • James Petras.
  • Towle Road.
  • Avedon's Sideshow (the new site).
  • At Largely, Larisa Alexandrovna's place.
  • The Daily Howler.
  • The DCist.
  • Greg Palast.
  • Jon Swift. RIP, Al.
  • God is For Suckers.
  • Hullabaloo, Digby's place.
  • The Rude Pundit.
  • Driftglass.
  • Newshounds.
  • William Grigg, a great find.
  • Brad Blog.
  • Down With Tyranny!, Howie Klein's blog.
  • Wayne's World. Party time! Excellent!
  • Busted Knuckles, aka Ornery Bastard.
  • Mills River Progressive.
  • Right Wing Watch.
  • Earthbond Misfit.
  • Anosognosia.
  • Echidne of the Snakes.
  • They Gave Us a Republic.
  • The Gawker.
  • Outtake Online, Emmy-winner Charlotte Robinson's site.
  • The artist formerly known as Politits. The politics are still liberal.
  • Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo
  • No More Mr. Nice Blog.
  • Head On Radio Network, Bob Kincaid.
  • Spocko's Brain.
  • Pandagon.
  • Slackivist.
  • WTF Is It Now?
  • No Blood For Hubris.
  • Lydia Cornell, a very smart and accomplished lady.
  • Roger Ailes (the good one.)
  • BlondeSense.
  • The Smirking Chimp.
  • Hammer of the Blogs.
  • Vast Left Wing Conspiracy.
  • Argville.
  • Existentialist Cowboy.
  • The Progressive.
  • The Nation.
  • Mother Jones.
  • Vanity Fair.
  • Salon.com.
  • Raw Story.
  • Citizens For Legitimate Government.
  • News Finder.
  • Indy Media Center.
  • Lexis News.
  • Military Religious Freedom.
  • McClatchy Newspapers.
  • The New Yorker.
  • Bloggingheads TV, political vlogging.
  • Find Articles.com, the next-best thing to Nexis.
  • Altweeklies, for the news you won't get just anywhere.
  • The Smirking Chimp
  • Don Emmerich's Peace Blog
  • Wikileaks.
  • The Peoples' Voice.
  • Dictionary.com.
  • CIA World Fact Book.
  • IP address locator.
  • Tom Tomorrow's hilarious strip.
  • Babelfish, an instant, online translator. I love to translate Ann Coulter's site into German.
  • Newsmeat: Find out who's donating to whom.
  • Wikipedia.
  • Uncyclopedia.
  • anysoldier.com
  • Icasualties
  • Free Press
  • YouTube
  • The Bone Bridge.
  • Powered by Blogger

    http://DeeperLeft.com