Sunday, January 16, 2011

Being a Baby Boomer Sucks


Today's my 52nd birthday and while I guess at this age I should be happy for any day I wake up, I'm also not very happy about it. Being a baby boomer suddenly isn't very fun, anymore, and here are some reasons why:

  • 10) I'm now getting, I shit you not, offers from the AARP and news alerts about hip replacement recalls. I suppose after today, I'll be getting brochures from Forest Lawn.

  • 9) My still-living friends are now vastly outnumbered by the celebrities I don't recognize.

  • 8) I find myself talking more and more about "the good old days" that I complained about while I was living through them.

  • 7) I still remember back when cars had points, credit cards were made of cardboard and you could actually grab a pack of cigarettes before buying them.

  • 6) Teenagers started calling me "sir" years ago and the only people who call me "young man" are nursing home residents.

  • 5) My health insurance, if I had it, would be almost eight times what my car insurance costs.

  • 4) Even kids and dogs think twice before jumping on me.

  • 3) Movies I've seen and books I've read are brand new again after more than a year.

  • 2) I still remember Ronald Reagan in Death Valley Days, sponsored by Borax.

  • 1) For the first time in my life, the President of the United States is younger than me.


  • So yeah, it sucks being a baby boomer. If you want to make my birthday a little happier, you know where the Paypal button is or you can buy a copy of my novel American Zen, which is still on sale for $2.99 on Kindle.

    But later today, Mrs. JP and I will go a local pub and hoist a couple while watching the Patriots annihilate the Jets in the first round of the playoffs. Go Pats!!!

    14 Comments:

    At January 16, 2011 at 5:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Wow only 52 it must be nice;)

    Yep go pats
    jo6pac

     
    At January 16, 2011 at 5:48 PM, Anonymous Sophie said...

    As my mother loves to say when I complain about the lost days of youth--
    "You'll wish you were 52again one day--just try being eighty-six!!!!

    Anyway, Happy Birthday, and keep up the great work!

    -Sophie

     
    At January 16, 2011 at 9:46 PM, Blogger sixdollarman said...

    52 here as well, as of last summer. Still "meaningfully employed" - though our department could go offshore at any time, with little warning. But, we did "get the band back together" in 2010; our punk group from the late 70's played a party, actually a kind of reunion for old and dear friends, many of whom we hadn't seen in years. It was a blast!

    As my dad's fond of saying (at the ripe old age of 78), "Whatever it is you do, keep doing it." Hope you have a great birthday!

     
    At January 16, 2011 at 11:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    For some of we "boomers", this millenium's "teens" welcomed US back to the SIXTIES! Embrace them again as a fellow Eternal Flamer, instead!! YUP!!!

     
    At January 16, 2011 at 11:10 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    Damn, dude, just like in American Zen.

     
    At January 17, 2011 at 11:08 AM, Anonymous Harv said...

    I'm 52 also. Still 6', 167lbs. Run 5-6 miles almost every day, yoga for 10 min. each morning, 10 min. each night, 50 pushups and 10 pull-ups every day. Read and write for hours every day. Not on a single prescription med. Never each fast food or junk food. Sleep 7 hours a night. Up at 5am every day. Occasionally indulge but basically live in moderation.

    There's not a damn thing I can't do that I couldn't do 25 years ago. Still whip smart and can outlast almost any 20 year-old over the course of a day's work on the farm.

    Fuck aging. I plan to live to be at least 115, then humanity can go fuck itself.

     
    At January 17, 2011 at 2:02 PM, Blogger Stan B. said...

    Happy Belated! I'm 55, ride my bike almost every day, but the best thing about getting old (the only good thing about getting old) is that when you say you don't give a rat's ass about something- you really don't.

     
    At January 17, 2011 at 2:18 PM, Blogger Mauigirl said...

    Happy belated birthday! I'm 57 (I keep thinking it's still 56 and then remember it's not - probably another sign of age). I agree with Stan, the best part of middle age is not giving a damn (or rat's ass or anything else). I don't care what people think about me, and I also notice that when things go wrong in my little world I usually take the long perspective, e.g., hair grows, what goes down goes back up, etc.

     
    At January 18, 2011 at 12:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Given the choice: being young now vs. having the experience from the 60s....

    I'm glad I'm 57....

     
    At January 18, 2011 at 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    always liked the line from that Oliver W. Holmes biopic:

    Sitting on a park bench at 91, chatting to an old friend:

    "Oh.. to be 80 again..."

     
    At January 18, 2011 at 12:46 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

    I heard it was Chauncey Depew to Oliver Wendell Holmes and it was "Oh, to be 75 again!"

     
    At January 18, 2011 at 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Reagan was the young replacement; I remember 'the old-timer' (he sucked less).

    Keep floggin' that mule-team...

     
    At January 23, 2011 at 2:40 AM, Blogger Bob said...

    happy birthday

     
    At January 23, 2011 at 12:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Gosh, Harv, senile already? Yup pal, you are gonna live forever, never get sick, and learn how to fly! Isn't it awful how the women don't take care of themselves like you do?

    And Pork, "Mrs. JP"? When did you get married?
    Jeez, 52 and you still can't tell the truth about yourself.

     

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