Thursday, May 3, 2012

Blanche Dubois, Redux

To quote Blanche Dubois in Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire, for the last couple of years, "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." When I first set up this Paypal button a little over three years ago, I was gainfully employed full time, had a part time job on the horizon and some money in the bank. The button was put up as a courtesy to those who'd been after me for months if not years to set up a Paypal account, especially when my life suffered a major upheaval in late winter of 2009. And the money I got in those first few days was great but I didn't need it.

It was never intended to be my sole means of support and I never intended to abuse it as I have. No doubt, over the last two and a half years, I've alienated quite a few readers and perhaps even virtual friends and have opened myself up to criticism from right wing trolls who are perhaps gainfully employed, hence as clueless as I was between 2003-3009 as to how hostile our country has become.

There but for the grace of a god who resides in the hearts of certain people (and you know who you are), Mrs. JP and I were able to pay the rent and make all of the bills that were due on the 1st but making the rent on June 1st is looking more and more problematic, especially as June is the month when we'll have to renew our car insurance. I also still have to fix the exhaust system that's ready to fall off before my annual inspection this November. Compounding our financial problems is Mrs. JP not being able to lift her left arm above her chest because of an injury sustained last December and our lack of health insurance forbids getting this persistent injury treated. Until it is, she'll be unfit for any manual labor, putting more pressure on me to get a job or otherwise generate some income.

Obviously, this is not intended for those who would like to yet cannot help any more than it's intended for those who refuse to help us out. But to those of you who read this who have even the smallest wherewithall, we'd greatly appreciate it if you could kick something into that tired old Paypal button. It's terribly draining to not be able to plan anything beyond a month in the future and mortally embarrassing to keep having to depend on the kindness of strangers. But, as always, I have more than myself to look out for. Having long since exhausted our UI benefits, neither of us have an income and are living on rapidly dwindling savings from donations given to us months ago. And, with Mrs. JP's injury making her unfit for the work to which she's accustomed to performing and our inability to obtain health insurance through the MassHealth Connector, the pressure on me to prevent certain eviction next month is more intense.

The news isn't all bleak. You've probably noticed I haven't been blogging much. That's because I've intensified my job search. Last month, I'd interviewed at a local company for a position paying $13 p.h. and offering free health care for myself. But with the hiring process deliberately stalled these days so that employers can find the "perfect" applicant, it's a waiting game and I cannot assume I'll get this job or at least in time to ensure payment of our rent and all our bills. I'd tried holding off asking for additional help for as long as I possibly could. But kindhearted donors sometimes need to wait for the right financial window before they can make a disbursement and it takes days to transfer the Paypal funds to my bank. I have to give us a substantial lead time instead of waiting until the last minute. So, whatever you can do would be greatly appreciated. If you haven't already received or bought them, I'll even throw in free copies of both my novels on Kindle via email attachment.

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