Caturday Cat Blogging

"I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille."

     I swear, sometimes I think someone dropped Popeye on his head when he was a kitten. There's something that's not quite right with my cat. I know cats are weird, to begin with, but most cats I've known are more pragmatic in feline matters. For instance, if you get your cat a scratching post, they'll know immediately what to do with it. Or, when they use their litter box, they'll cover their scat.
     But, oh no, not Popeye. He scratches the shit out of everything in the house, including our legs, but the scratching post I got him over three years ago and paws everything but the cat litter. During his more nocturnal evenings, we can hear him going from room to room scratching the DVD case, the claw foot tub, the floor, everything, god, but what he's supposed to have his paws on.
     Looking at pictures like this, I suspect my Russian Blue "friend" is Pee Wee Gaskin or Carl Panzram reincarnated. I dunno. This picture of Popeye just looks like a mug shot. Regardless, as long as he keeps eating, I'll keep feeding him. And after the nightmare I went through with my last two cats, I'm just happy that he has a healthy appetite and comforted by hearing him howl for his 9 Lives Indoors canned food every morning. A hungry kittie is a healthy kittie, as I always say.

     Anyway, my hard copy of The Toy Cop arrived via UPS yesterday. This is a crappy picture, I admit. It's a little out of focus and drains the color out. But this sucker would make Tom Clancy green with envy. Not necessarily because of its literary merit but because it weighs in at a substantial 610 pages. This is a cinder block of a book that you couldn't drive over with a fucking Humvee. The retail price goes for $10.22 plus shipping, which will probably scare a lot of people off. But keep in mind this was the lowest price CreateSpace would let me set and my royalty is dog shit. Also, this is a novel that's almost 180,000 words long. If you're the rare kind of reader that doesn't have the attention span of a goldfish and if you like high concept thrillers with vivid, well-delineated characters, then The Toy Cop is for you.
     My offer still stands, btw. Anyone who chips in $25 or more at Pottersville will get free autographed copies of either of my books ($50 or more will get you both, if you want) and I'll eat the shipping. Mrs. JP and I have zero chance of paying the rent or our other bills by New Year's Day and, after sinking money into car repairs and an inspection, plus paying middle-of-the-month bills, Christmas is looking increasingly dicey.
     That said, happy holidays and to my Jewish readers, happy Hanukkah, even though I know the festivities won't begin until sundown tonight. In the meantime, I'll try to get back into this mug's game of political blogging when I can take a few moments from registering and whoring my books all over the internet.