Somewhere in America, a Brooks Brothers is Missing a Mannequin

 

      Poor prick.

      Roger Ailes' Intellectual Flea Circus, aka Fox "News", insists on inflicting the Romneys on us again four months after the Election, as if being treated to a dose of Mitt at CPAC later this month wasn't bad enough. And Mitt is whining that it "kills" him he's not in the White House. Gee, didn't one of his 27 toothy sons say just a month ago that he really didn't want to run for, you know, the second time in a row?

     It was the same sense of entitlement that sent Romney packing not for the White House but to one of his 121 mansions (La Jolla, I think. The one with the car elevator). It's stultifyingly obvious that Romney's sense of entitlement ("I deserve to be president because I'm rich and because, gosh darn it, corporations like me!") is squarely at odds with the basic concept of the democratic electoral process. Not enough people voted for him because not enough people liked him.

     Oh, but Mitt has a wonderful reason for that. It's not that he's unlikable, something even Republicans were kvetching about during the campaign, it's the campaign's fault. Not, "It's my fault I didn't get elected because I'm a silicon-based humanoid who couldn't melt mercury if you put it under my tongue" but the campaign's.

     Mitt was generous enough to give to Chris Wallace some time ordinarily spent having Cabinet meetings with his 846 grandchildrens' stuffed animals to say it was the campaign's fault for not letting Mitt, well, unzip himself in public and let flop out the nice, allaround oligarch he truly is. Whether or not that speaks volumes about a presidential candidate's inability to be themselves while being circumscribed by focus groups and other handlers is beside the point.

     The fact is, this past presidential election was the longest on record, starting around 2007. Mitt had ample time to show the people what kind of a... well, man he is (for want of a better word) and the irony is, he did just that by refusing to divulge a decade's worth of tax returns, whining about the 47% wanting free stuff, telling a heckler in Iowa that "corporations are people, too, my friend", calling himself unemployed to a bunch of actual unemployed people in Tampa.

     No, Willard did exactly that, to show the American people what a slime-blooded sociopath that made hundreds of millions of dollars putting people out of work, bragging about binders full of women and being genuinely surprised that gay couples actually have families. People didn't elect Willard president because he continued going from coast to coast acting as if the 1%, rich, privileged old white people like him, were the 53%.

     But to give us a more well-rounded explanation of why Mitt isn't sitting in the White House right now, Ann Romney's vagina then expanded and took over the rest of her body until she was an actual talking cunt. In typical right wing fashion, Ann blamed not just the campaign but the mainstream media. You know, the one that continued giving him one free pass after another about his draft-dodging days in Paris, the missing tax returns, the offshore bank accounts in seven different foreign countries? This is what Queen Ann's gigantic labia said:

“It was not just the campaign’s fault. I believe it was the media's fault as well, in that he was not being given a fair shake--that people weren’t allowed to really see him for who he was. I’m happy to blame the media.”

     Of course she was happy to blame the media represented by Chris Wallace because Ann Romney will now contentedly spend the rest of her empty life blaming others for her husband's inability to get elected to anything other than Governor of Massachusetts in a year with a weak Democratic field.
     Oh, and we have the sour grapes pronouncement that we wouldn't be in this sequester mess right now if Mitt got elected, so it's all Obama's fault, don't you know?
     For once I agree. We wouldn't have a sequester triggering a trillion and a half dollars in cuts because Mitt would've only been too glad to slip into Bain CEO mode and slash virtually every dollar off the budget on the backs of the poor. The Congressional Republicans and Romney would've seen eye to eye and to slash even more programs that will be affected by sequestration. And now we're hearing the comically irrelevant Romneys telling us, "You should've voted for us but you didn't now you can reap the whirlwind, peasants."
     The American voter is capable of making some stupendously bad decisions (Giving Republicans the House in 1994 and 2009, reelecting Nixon, then Reagan, keeping Steve King and Michele Bachmann in Congress, etc). But this time the American public didn't fuck up as much as usual. Yeah, we reelected a corporation-loving war criminal like Obama but he's our corporation-loving war criminal because we said so.
     And regardless of how many times Mitt and Ann piss and moan from one gated mansion or another, that's never going to change. This is democracy in action. Get off the roller coaster and fade back into the crowd. Rich, white entitlement does not justify itself.