Sloppy Seconds

     These are some of my better tweets for the month thus far. I'm in the middle of a struggle with publisher Create Space and their sudden problematic conversions from .docx to .pdf formats.

Anime revealed as French word meaning, "Pornographic Japanese cartoons." 11 million fanboys at once commit suicide by dumping inhalers.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 18, 2014

I went to a diner for my birthday today. The TV was set to the ObamaCare/Benghazi Network, aka Fox "News". #RWNJs #p2 #p21 #tlot #UniteBlue
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 16, 2014

If our gov't spent half as much time & energy waging war on GMO's as it does on medical marijuana Monsanto, would cease to exist overnight.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 16, 2014

One of life's disappointments: Seeing even liberals getting geared up to watch millionaires & billionaires backslap eachother at the Oscars.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 16, 2014

Are you a guy without a plan? Then vote for these guys. pic.twitter.com/yQCt6SOEpu
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 15, 2014

@Michabean @stellasev7169 The three scariest words a woman can say: "I'm boycotting Midol."
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 15, 2014

@slackadjuster I actually expect to soon read of Freedom Industries suing those 9 counties for diluting their chemicals with their water.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 15, 2014

When are we finally going to wake the fuck up & demand the State Dept classify the #Teaparty as a 5th column terrorist organization? #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 15, 2014

I'm still waiting for fracking companies to start charging people for the natural gas they're getting in their tap water.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 14, 2014

Satanic temple demands apology of Fox, says, "You're not supposed to be scarier & more evil than us." http://t.co/UBItgmHb2i #RWNJ #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 14, 2014

@SarahPalinUSA to announce run for Alaskan senate as soon as she picks a running mate. #p2 #p21 #UniteBlue #connecttheleft #tlot
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 13, 2014

We need a Hitler Rant Parody for Christie: "We'll just escape Berlin on the GWB." "Mein Fuhrer, Chris Christie closed it." "That fat fuck!"
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 10, 2014

There's something very wrong with a legislative body scheduled to work 113 days this year denying UI benefits to those who want to work. #p2
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 10, 2014

A career criminal like Darrel Issa going after a black President for crimes he didn't commit. #ThingsThatOffendLiberals
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 8, 2014

It's so cold outside, Wall Street executives and Republicans have their hands in their own pockets. #p2 #p21 #OutInTheCold #UniteBlue
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 7, 2014

What's a few thousand gallons of rocket fuel & a Saturn V go for? I'm starting up a Kickstarter page & have an idea for a #GOP field trip.
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 5, 2014

Why did Dracula's girlfriend break up with him? He only went down on her five days a month. #trulytastelessjokes
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 4, 2014

Pay your fair share. #LiberalismIn4Words #RWNJs #taxdodgers #p2 #p21
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 2, 2014

If God is so merciful, why doesn't He create a plague that kills only Republicans, libertarians and conservatives? #atheism
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 1, 2014

The President's black. Deal. #LiberalismIn4Words
— Robert Crawford (@jurassicpork59) January 1, 2014