Why Kurt Eichenwald and Peter Daou Need to Be Reincarnated as Amanda Marcotte's Dildos, Pt 1

 

In Which the Jurassic One Borroweth a Page From the Rude One and Venteth His Spleene in a Most Vexing and Uncouth Manner.

     ...because, as douchebags, they're already halfway there.
     I'd cultivated a special hated for Kurt Eichenwald during the election cycle and especially for Peter Daou, that blubber-lipped baboon who used to write for Blue Balls Review before it moved to Shareblue, or some such fly-by-night outfit. And if there's one thing these guys have in common, despite a fetish for getting Queen Hillary her long-deserved coronation, it's this:
     A deeper hatred and venom for Bernie and Jill voters than they've ever expressed for Trump backers.
     Two days ago, Eichenwald and the editors at Newsweak had a fun ole time seeing how low they could limbo in the game of journalism by publishing Kurt's piece, "The Myths Democrats Swallowed That Cost Them the Presidential Election." And they basically buried the limbo bar in the sand by letting Eichenwald publish a piece that started with, "On Friday, I almost assaulted a fan of my work." The exchange with this fan, ironically in the city of Brotherly Love that saw Queen Hillary essentially steal the nomination from Bernie Sanders by right of royal fiat, culminated with Eichenwald telling his misguided fan to go fuck himself. That's right. Kurt Eichenwald, a man whose very name conjures images of sexually repressed men wearing iron eagles on stiff grey uniforms and pinching their cigarettes between thumb and forefinger, channeled Dick Cheney.
     Seriously, this is the kind of shit we expect from right wing lunatics like the late Andrew Breitbart and Joe the Plumber. It also establishes Eichenwald to be a bag o' douche of the lowest quality (On the Massengill Index, about five steps below that of a turkey baster full of vinegar) and Newsweak ran with it.
     So what inspired Col. Klink's passions? That his self-perceived antagonist voted for Jill Stein. That's when Eichenwald lost it and embraced his inner Nazi. This is when he told this man at Philadelphia International Airport he wanted to punch him.
     And there we have it- Impotent white rage that his candidate of choice, a woman dogged by more scandals than an army of Huey Longs, didn't get elected President. And threatening those who strayed from his diktats with bodily harm. This is what passes for journalism.
     I could deconstruct this article for you or you can read this piece in Shadowproof that my Constant Reader and unpaid researcher CC sent me last night. The Shadowproof article does a nice job deconstructing (or taking apart) Eichenwald. But my focus here is going to be considerably wider and a bit more abstract. In it, I'm going to hit back at some of the biggest douchebags who promoted Hillary to the masses so viciously they forever lost readers, especially those who, as our friend in Philadelphia found to his dismay, didn't toe the party line.
     However, Eichenwald, I must say, didn't exactly do himself any favors by reaching for that old two word chestnut designed to dismiss anyone proffering inconvenient and unpopular hypotheses: "Conspiracy theory." And conspiracy theory #1 is that the DNC was some "monolithic" entity that was in the tank for Hillary and kneecapped the Sanders campaign. If nothing, this shows how out of touch Eichenwald is and how closely he's really listening to us:
     It wasn't the DNC playing puppet master to the Clinton campaign but vice versa. Without even once mentioning it (except to make a vague, unsourced reference to us listening to "Russian propaganda"), Eichenwald, as with Peter Daou and Amanda Marcotte, blithely ignores the Wikileaked Podesta emails that, through at least 37 iterations, conclusively proved the Clinton campaign twisted a lot of dicks and colluded with tons of entities that had a vested interest in seeing her back in the White House. And it was this evidence of corruption that we'd already suspected was in play that turned off Democratic voters to yet another pro-corporate Clinton administration.
     And Kurt Eichenwald all but proves that guys with super German names perhaps shouldn't be writing articles that rag on two Jewish candidates. The optics look horrible. Just sayin'...
     Then there's the other guy who looks as if he got his lips stuck in an Olympic pool drain, Peter Daou. Daou has shown nothing but withering contempt for the same type of liberal that makes Eichenwald yearn to go all Room 101 on them: The one that can think for themselves and recoil from Democratic corruption when they see it.
     To them, that's tantamount to abandoning reason and embarking on a Quixotic search for purity. Why dream when you can be pragmatic and just quietly obedient to the corporately-enforced status quo?

      (To be continued tomorrow)