I think we've all come to the conclusion that Donald Trump is shithouse rat-on-fire insane and should be in a loony bin instead of the Oval Office. But when I saw this on Facebook this morning, I looked at this equally crazy checklist of reasons for institutionalization in the late 19th century and was tempted to take stock of what would've gotten Trump put in a rubber room back in the day:
1) Intemperance & Business Trouble: One but not the other. Trump doesn't drink but his first divorce and business empire nearly falling would've put him in four point restraints.
2) Hereditary Predisposition: Well, considering his grandfather Friedrich was a whore monger, tax cheat and draft dodger, it's obvious the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
3) Ill treatment by husband: If a woman could be sent to the loony bin for being abused by her husband, then what does that say about the man who treats his wife like shit?
4) Hysteria: Imaginary porno movies by Miss Universes? Imaginary illegal voters in the millions? The previous president bugging his house? The mass media our biggest enemy? All put out on Twitter in the wee hours of the morning? Hm...
5) Immoral life: Do I really have to elaborate on this?
6) Jealousy and Religion: Again, one but not the other.Trump's about as much of a Christian as Christopher Hitchens but jealousy when he thinks someone's stealing his thunder? Oh yeah.
7) Laziness: Consider that every weekend since being sworn in, he's been jetting to Mar-a-Lago to play golf and sleep.
8) Periodical fits: See #4.
9) Political excitement and politics: "I could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose a single vote!"
10) Bad Company: I refer you to Trump's business associates and Cabinet.
11) Business Nerves: If I had to declare bankruptcy four times, I'd be nervous, too.
12) Domestic Affliction & Trouble: Do two divorces count?
13) Egotism: Oh boy, where would I even start?
14) Excessive sexual abuse: Does this reference being abused or being the abuser? If the latter, well,then...
15) Greediness: Hasn't paid taxes in at least 20 years and brags about it.
16) Seduction and Disappointment: Gee, how many women have rejected Trump's countless sexual advances?
17) Sexual Derangement: "You can grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything."
18) Feebleness of intellect: See Cabinet, Trump.
Now, as for the reasons that would never
apply to Trump?
2) Over action of the mind.
3) Over study of religion
4) Over taxing mental powers
5) Religious enthusiasm
6) Death of sons in wars
7) Decoyed into the Army
8) Excitement as Officer
9) Exposure in Army
10) The War
11) Fell From Horse in War.