Let Him Eat Cake

(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari Goldstein)

(Tip o' the tinfoil hat to Mrs. JP for this priceless catch)

You don't need to have a Major in Political Science or a Doctorate in Psychology to know that there is something deeply, and dangerously, wrong with Donald John Trump.

     Here's a man who bombed a virtually deserted Syrian air field, after alerting Putin about it a half hour beforehand (and, as the game of Telephone dictates, Putin then helpfully told his other buddy Assad). A nearly forgotten, throwaway paragraph in the Daily Telegraph article told us this in passing:

Six Syrian soldiers were reported to have been killed in Friday’s missile strike, which destroyed as much as 90 per cent of the base. Syrian officials said nine civilians, including four children, were also killed.

     But thank God chocolate cake was involved.

     As with his first military action in Yemen on January 29th, Trump gave the order to bomb Syria while having dinner, this time with Chinese President Xi. Then Trump told a panting Maria Bartiromo on Fox this morning about the Chocolate Cake (because it deserves to be capitalized). As usual for the weekend, he was at Mar-a-Lago, a place that sounds like an hourly rate, hot bed motel in a Carl Hiaasen novel.

     Then he decided to whip out Donald, Jr (not the oleaginous figurative prick, the literal one), kneaded it in front of the Chinese President and when he was ready to launch, said, "Hey, watch this."

     The Chinese President wiped his face and approved because it was all about the 34 children that were gassed to death in Syria, don't you know, and what's 4 compared to 34? And, besides, Ivanka had a sad so Daddy decided to bomb a nation (and 14 innocents) because, well, nobody puts Baby in a corner and makes her cry.

     But the important thing to remember is not only was there chocolate cake but

     "We're now having dessert—and we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen—and President Xi was enjoying it."

     Now the narrative we're hearing in the MSM is that this proves once and for all that there is no Trump-Russia connection, despite that his onetime campaign manager Paul Manafort accepted $1.2 million from a Ukranian pro-Russia group (under the table, of course) and that key members of his campaign, transition team and administration met with Russian spy ambassador Sergey Kislyak then lied about it under oath while testifying before Congress.

     And we're also hearing that Putin's hopping mad at Trump over having created relatively minor collateral damage that didn't even keep the Syrian planes grounded for more than a day (except if you remember those 14 innocents who were killed that no one seems to want to talk about). And now Trump's blaming Putin for the chemical gas attack used against Syrians that Trump would never let in this country on a dare (that would be a little too compassionate because those little brown kids might eat up all that delicious chocolate cake at Mar-a-Lago).

     Bullshit.

     It's all theater, shadow boxing designed to look as if Putin had no hand in throwing the US election to Trump and his pork rind-stained minions, that there really weren't millions of transactions between the Russian elite and Trump and his Russian properties and that he really doesn't have a verifiable track record with Russian mobsters, after all. Fake news.

     To put a nightmarish cherry atop this chocolate cake anecdote, when Trump was dishing about this courageous strike, this $100,000,000 (oddly enough, about how much, well, cake Trump has made off Russia), 59 Tomahawk missile way of saying, "I'm not Putin's Cum-Smeared, Sobbing Fuck Doll!", Trump forgot which nation he'd bombed. He told Bartiromo, who was breathlessly panting as if she was going to ask for war porn photos of the dead, twisted and dismembered bodies of the 14 innocents who were killed, that he'd bombed Iraq.

     "Syria," Bartiromo helpfully says just so Fox viewers don't get the right idea, which is that our nation and the Free World is run by a walking brain stem. Trump looks at her uncertainly and says, "Yeah, Syria."

     Because, really, when we're talking about dirty brown people, which country you just bombed really doesn't matter, does it?