The First 100 Days of Orange Haze

     So, in the first 100 days of Trump's misadministration, this is what we've heard:

     Who knew health care would be so complex?
     Who knew being president would be so hard?
     "It's a ban."
     "It's not a ban."
     "It's a military action."
     "It's not a military action."
     Frederick Douglass is still alive.
     Obama spied on him during the campaign (then kept the results to himself.),
     Tens of millions of fraudulent voters!
     If the election were held today, I'd still win the popular vote (He lost the popular vote by nearly 3,000,000 votes.).
     Countries like Germany owe money to NATO when in fact their military involvement comes out of their respective defense budgets.
     Said aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson was on its way to North Korea when it was 3700 miles away and traveling in the opposite direction.
     His former National Security advisor was a double agent for Russia and Turkey.
     Key members of his campaign, transition team and administration met with a Russian agent many, many times then lied about it even to Congress.
     His executive orders are written by the former CEO of an online right wing rag and signed without being read.
     Four members of his administration were led out of the White House by the FBI for lying about their credentials.
     He bombed an already heavily-bombed nation for no reason but, hey, there was a gorgeous chocolate cake involved.
     Then he forgot which nation he bombed.
     Told the Japanese Prime Minister he was obsessed with his translator's breasts.
     Hung up on the Australian Prime Minister.
     So alienated Mexico that their President called off a meeting with him.       
     His Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly said he "hasn't a clue" what sanctuary cities are."
     He also said, "Nobody Has Any Idea What Is Going On."
     Rick Perry thought being Secretary of Energy meant being an ambassador to oil & gas companies.
     Betsy DeVos thinks we need guns in classrooms because... BEARS.
     Rex Tillerson thinks his plane would fly faster if there weren't reporters on board.
     Ben Carson thinks slaves were "immigrants."
     Press Secretary Sean Spicer thinks Hitler didn't use chemical weapons on his enemies.
     He also insisted in his first meeting with the press that Trump's inaugural crowd was the biggest one yet despite much photographic evidence to the contrary.
     Kellyanne Conway thinks there are legitimate alternatives to facts.
     She claimed Obama spied on her boss with microwave ovens.
     AG Jeff Sessions (R-Lucky Charms) thinks Hawaii is merely an island in the Pacific.
     He also thinks separation of church and state are unconstitutional even though it's in the Constitution.

     Yeah, knowing this rabid pack of right wing assclowns are calling the shots greatly enhances my sense of security. How about you?