打っ掛ける

That's the Japanese word for Bukkake, whether or not you know what that is. In fact, if you know as much about it as I do, then perhaps you're at the wrong blog.

Over the last eight years, Republicans have been giving America a neverending crash course in the fine cinematic art of seeing how much semen, jizz, penis butter, love lotion a human face can possibly hold. And the massive protein packs in the collective facialing of America is never about love or even sex. It's about control and detestation.

The minority GOP and the White House proved it yet again when they stood in the way of the Democratic-led Congress approving a relatively modest $25 billion bailout of the auto industry that, unlike the much larger bailout bill of the home lenders, actually involves human fucking beings. Auto workers? (Zzzzip, fwap fwap fwap. Splort! "Ahhhh. Fuck you, get your own towel.")

Essentially, what we're hearing is this: Congress says they shouldn't need the legislation, that we should just fold the extra $25 billion that could save millions of jobs by next year into the $700 billion bailout recently passed.

The White House says Bush has "no appetite" to get involved and to act autonomously. And we all know how loath Bush is to act autonomously and unilaterally, especially six years ago when there were about 100,000 contractor jobs at stake in Iraq.

And Harry Reid says that Paulson can arbitrarily act on this with the new dictatorial powers that the bailout bill gave him but that he just doesn't want to get involved, either.

Dana Perino's saying if Congress goes on its long vacation without passing this bill and jobs are lost, let it be on Congress's head. What Perino's forgetting or ignoring is the inconvenient fact that the Republican Party's been hobbling the Democrats' efforts to get something going.

So the Republicans are finally getting tough on big business fucking over the common man through their constant fiscal mismanagement and saying The tit runs dry as of this minute, right? Er, not exactly.

According to Republican Senators Kyl, DeMint and Gov. Schwarzenegger, it's the UAW that's at fault for paying their people so lushly with their cruelly hard bargains. However, as Think Progress pointed out, the toothless UAW has been making so many concessions to big auto executives that many workers would rather work in Japanese plants that have no union than for UAW shops because the pay and benefits are better.

Which in a way brings us full circle to the Japanese connection. Zzzzip...

So, as with the home lending crisis, it's not the fat cat corpulations that are at fault, it's the people who accepted the pie-in-the-sky loan offers, the people who committed the unpardonable, cardinal sin of wanting to be part of Bush's much touted "ownership society." It's also not the fault of the big automakers that they, too, are howling about lack of cash liquidity and suddenly raining crocodile tears all over the Potomac over having to lay off millions of hourly-paid workers (and maybe a token executive or two). It's the fault of the UAW that forced GM to freeze the employee pension plan that had actually made them money and to keep the executive pension fund that was a drain on their bottom line. (Note: Back in 2006, years before their cash liquidity crisis, GM was already licking their chops and rubbing their hands at the cash they'd save by laying off 30,000 workers by this year).

Ashton Kucher, of all people, on Bill Maher's Real Time had I think a workable solution out of this mess: Have the petroleum companies bail out the automakers. Because just as the UAW has been giving handjobs to the Big Three executives and selling their people up the river, those same Big Three have been at the mercy and the bidding of petroleum companies that have exhorted them year after year to stifle the development of biodiesel, electric, ethanol, hydrogen and hybrid technology that would cut into their bottom line.

Of course that'll happen when Lee R. Raymond wins an Olympic gold medal in figure skating. So the auto industry, namely the 2.5 million people who could quite possibly lose their jobs (and their homes) in the next year should be reaching for a big-ass beach towel and maybe even a floor squeegee because the GOP is just getting started with their bukkake orgy.