Looking to Get a Jump on Your Christmas Shopping?

(Tip o' the tinfoil hat to the incomparable Jill Hussein at Brilliant at Breakfast for the burning cross link.)

The American Family Association can give you some tips. How about a bristly, electric burning cross? Because nothing quite brings Jesus into your heart faster than a KKK symbol of racial intolerance.

Did you expect anything different from Donald Wild man's Wildmon's merry band of homophobes, racists, Jew baiters and sundry and assorted psychopaths? What's next? Obama Xmas ornaments so we can hang our favorite President-elect in effigy from a... Oh, dear God.

Let's see what the Republicans have to offer, courtesy of Cafe Press:

It's not clear whether it's permissible to use your car or an actual weapon. I guess since they're dark and foreign, it's all good.

Check out their other fine tee shirts that have already literally written off John McCain and calling Sarah Palin into the 2012 fray and calling for Obama's impeachment.

The Republican Storekeepers, meanwhile, are firm believers in "start(ing) them young", as this charming tee shirt attests:

The perfect gift for that young Republican in the family, featuring an adorable pachyderm turning Democratic blue holding its breath waiting for its majority to come back to Congress.

I can understand wanting to protect the unborn. I can also understand wanting to support the troops. So why not kill two birds with one stone? In a blast from the past, a year ago, Miss Poppy offered up this unique ornament.

Now, in my Holy Book, nothing captures the spirit of Christmas like an unborn child ready to hit the ground running and kill our enemies right out of the womb! Once again, start 'em young.

In that spirit, a couple of years ago, Urban Outfitters came, well, under fire for producing and selling this Xmas gun ornament, which would make for an excellent companion piece if pointed directly at your Obama ornament.

I'm amazed and kind of disappointed that Urban Outfitters didn't offer for sale tree lights in the shape of 38 caliber bullets. Perhaps that's because Doitbest.com beat them to it.

For those of you with a more traditionalist bent, there's this lawn jockey that was proudly showcased last year by Shelley the "Republican".

Of course, if you wanna pay real old school homage to African Americans, there's this wonderful addition for sale on eBay that would honor any front yard in any respectable white neighborhood.

C'mon, now, ya gotta admit: the watermelon was a nice touch.

So go on and spend that money that you no longer have for Christmas because of conservatives. We're a nation of credit, anyway.