Saturday, November 29, 2008

George W. Bush's Census Form

Yes, it's that time again. Census forms are in the mail or have already arrived and we must all do our patriotic duty and accurately account for ourselves and those in our household and the President of the United States is no exception. Below are some of the answers given by President George W. Bush to the 2010 National Census.

How many people were living or staying at this house, apartment or mobile home on May 1, 2008?
4. Do lawyers count? And Mobile didn't build my home in Crawford. Who do you think I am, Ted Stevens?

Where there any additional people staying here May 1, 2008 that you did not include in Question 1?
Children such as newborn babies or foster children
Relatives, such as adult children, cousins or in-laws
Non-relatives such as roommates or live-in babysitters
People staying here temporarily
No additional people

Damn, you're being pushy. You think I'm lying? You're gonna ask me about Jack Abramoff and that there Gannon fellow, ain't you?

In this house, apartment or mobile home --- Mark x all that apply:
Owned by you or someone in this household with a mortgage or loan? Include home equity loans.
Owned by you or someone in this household free and clear (without a mortgage or loan).
Occupied without payment or rent?
Squatter on taxpayer property. We're selling the prop in Crawford while we can still make money off it.

What is your telephone number? We may call if we don't understand an answer.
1-800-EAT-SHIT (If you don't like the job I'm doing)

What is Person 1's sex? Mark x ONE box.
Non-gay male.

Is Person 1 of Latino, Hispanic or Spanish origin?
There's a difference? Hell, no.

What is Person 1's race? Mark x one or more boxes.
Republican-American. In other words, Proudly Caucasian.

Does Person 1 sometimes live or stay somewhere else?
In college housing.
In the military
(let's not bring that shit up again)
At a seasonal or second residence (Crawford, TX, Camp David, Betty Ford Clinic)
For child custody
In jail or prison
(Not unless that uppity guy coming in has anything to say about it)
In a nursing home
For another reason

Do bunkers count?

What is your occupation?
Halliburton Contract Procure Pressident of the United States

What is the most important function in your job?
Two words: Executive Privlige.

What is your annual income?
That's a kinda personal question, doncha think? How much do you make, Nosey Nellie? You're almost as nosy as the danged IRS.

What is the address of your employer?
5 Houston Center
1401 McKinney St., Suite 2400
Houston, TX 77010

1600 Pennsulvainya Avenue


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