Open Letter to David B. Brown, "Attorney at Law"
(Update: In the interests of fairness, I have to admit- I stepped on my own schlong on this one with mountain-climbing boots. Upon closer examination, the Missouri Bar Association's official website does indeed bear out Mr. David B. Brown's claim that he is an attorney duly licensed to practice law in the state of Missouri. Therefore, I publicly make a heartfelt apology not out of any fear of litigation but simply because it is the right thing to do. Mr. Brown was right and I was wrong.
However, a law degree and passing the bar examination and being admitted to a state bar and being a member in good standing does not necessarily make one an angel. Upon further examination, it seems that 4144 Lindell Blvd, Ste. 226, the address provided to me by Mr. Brown in his emails, is one of the St. Louis branch offices for Alfg or the American Financial Law Group, which is a legal advisor to home lenders and buyers and not the Australian Football League.
So that beggars the question of why a real estate attorney is getting involved with a personal injury lawsuit that already has more holes in it than Scott Weiland after a week at the Chelsea? It was notable that his client, Mr. Kenneth Gladney, appeared sufficiently unharmed after his brutalization at the hands of those nasty blue meanies of the SEIU to be able to walk around, waving his arms and yelling at people while a fellow African American male could be plainly seen holding his left shoulder in obvious pain.
Yet the very next day, he's rolled out of the hospital unable to talk because he was so medicated so his mouthpiece, the aforementioned Mr. Brown (himself nursing a broken nose because a paramedic hit his brakes too suddenly), could do his talking for him. The case gets curiouser and curiouser the deeper one gets and it's only a matter of time before someone gets to the bottom of why a real estate attorney with no experience in this kind of litigation could and would so quickly get involved with the alleged victim in a personal injury lawsuit and find himself with his client on Fox News within hours after the alleged incident. Also unresolved is why would he be doing such unfamiliar work for a total stranger on a pro bono basis unless someone else was paying the bills?
Mr. Brown, upon reading these same questions, abruptly terminated our lovely correspondence by curtly saying, "You are insane. I will find you. I will sue you." Yes, yes, I'm sure you will, Mr. Brown, and you will pound your little podium with your shoe and crush me and all of us who dare to ask questions about your motives. But I'm not the one who was awake until 3 AM Googling my name, immediately responding to emails and threatening lawsuits against people with a Hotmail address and looking up your personal information other than what you'd already given me then suddenly severed all communication when these very good questions were posited to you.
So I deeply apologize for impugning your lawyer-ness but in the act of validating that all you've done is raise a whole host of far more interesting questions than whether or not you're a real shyster.)
What follows below is an actual letter received earlier tonight from one David Brian Brown, the "attorney" representing Kenneth Gladney, the conservative who was allegedly beaten up by SEIU members in St. Louis a couple of night ago. You may remember that I mentioned Brown in passing in my post on the subject. Well, apparently he took umbrage at the fact that I called him a shyster instead of what he is, a fucking fraud who never practiced law in either St. Louis or anywhere else for that matter.
Attorney David B. Brown
4144 Lindell Boulevard, Suite 226
St. Louis, MO 63108
Licensed to Practice Law in the State of Missouri
August 8, 2009
You have posted a libelous statement about me on your blog, http://www.blogger.com/profile/01673461210301442978, where you describe me as a "shyster." A shyster is someone who acts in a disreputable, unethical, or unscrupulous way, especially in the practice of law and politics.
Merely because you hide behind the veil of the internet, this does not allow you to violate the law. As such, consider this e-mail my formal demand to immediately cease and desist from all libelous and defamatory comments. I also demand that you remove the said libelous word immediately from the aforementioned website. If you fail to do so, I will take swift and deliberate legal action at my discretion.
David B. Brown, Esq.
My response, word for word:
You know, Dave, just because I'm a Z list blogger doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I've been doing some checking up on you on the internet (it's what I do for a living these days, you know, which greatly aids in separating facts from bullshit, which I'll get to in a moment) and I found the strangest thing...
...namely no mention of you being a licensed attorney in St. Louis or anywhere in Missouri. In fact, virtually all the hits I get when I use your name, address or combination thereof mentions you starting just last night and only in connection with Kenneth Gladney, whom I'm guessing found your name and contact information scratched on a bathroom stall.
I went to several search engines, such as this one, for instance, and found this on Lawyers.com, a site with a URL that you would think would be all-inclusive:
It says in red letters:
Your search returned 0 results.
Well, how about that?
Then I went to YellowPages.com and refined my search to Attorneys named David B. Brown in St. Louis, MO and found seven pages of attorney listings here.
Several shysters like you were on, appropriately, Locust St. but I couldn't find a single listing on 4144 Lindell Blvd. under either your name or anyone else's.
How about that?
Still, in the spirit of fair play and thoroughness and being well aware of the importance of triple-sourcing something before reaching any conclusions, I tried another website, Intelius.com.
Now, you would think that a common-sounding name like David B. Brown would return lots of hits in a major city like St. Louis, MO, but you'd be wrong. In fact, my search turned up only one David B. Brown in the entire state and he's not even in St. Louis.
Giving you one more shot at redemption, I tried one final time and this time copied and pasted your "business" address and tried to find you on Google maps. Well, it was the damnedest thing, Dave. I did, indeed find 4144 Lindell Blvd. and even the addresses and phone numbers of no less than 96 businesses at that one address. But I found neither a David B. Brown law practice nor even a single business that had the 681 exchange number!
How about THAT?
So, d'ya care to explain to me how a high powered, non-shyster attorney such as yourself can't be found on the Yellow Pages, Intelius, Lawyers.com and even Google maps? According to Google, your exchange number isn't even real, much less your pretensions of being an actual attorney.
Does Mr. Gadney know you're a complete fraud who Googles his own name, tries to threaten people with libel with a Hotmail email address and an "Esq." at the end of your pedestrian name or is this a little secret that we'll just keep between us and all 300 or so of my readers (which I can't guarantee won't temporarily swell to the thousands once I alert my buddies at Crooks and Liars, Buzzflash.com and other nasty lib'ral sites)?
All things considered, especially in light of what I didn't find, I think you should've quit while you were ahead, Dave, and let me call you a shyster. Now we'll have to upgrade you to Fraud. Tell you what: Show me a valid law degree and license to practice law anywhere and I'll cough up Obama's real birth certificate, how's that?