Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Rupture


Maybe I was sitting on the toilet when the Rapture occurred last night. Maybe it bypassed me because Mrs. JP and I were watching the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Maybe it came and went while we were listening to the Red Sox get blown out by the Cubs in their milkmen uniforms last night.

Or maybe I haven't been sufficiently religious enough during my life. But apparently, the baby Jebus either didn't think I was as pious as the 200,000,000 pre-chosen or... Or maybe it didn't happen at all.

Anyway, consider this an open thread to tell me what you did to prepare for the Rapture (Gotta admit, it was awfully convenient for that 89 year-old crackpot to choose a Saturday for the grand Skyline moment).

8 Comments:

At May 22, 2011 at 2:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I trussed in the lord to heal my rupt ... Oh, "rapture"?!

 
At May 22, 2011 at 7:47 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

This Camping guy, this elderly grifter, needs to be investigated.

 
At May 23, 2011 at 12:40 PM, Anonymous COMRADE RUTHERFORD said...

I went to work. While I was on site for 14 hours, I only actually worked for about 5 hours. All for a day-rate of $300. Now if only I could get that every day, instead of once every three months...

 
At May 23, 2011 at 3:06 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

Quote:

"Camping's PR aide, Tom Evans, told the L.A. Times that the group is "disappointed" that 200 million true believers weren't lifted up to heaven on Saturday while everyone else suffered and eventually died as a series of earthquakes and famine destroyed the Earth."

Gee, I'm sorry Satan disappointed you. Assholes.

 
At May 24, 2011 at 2:08 PM, Anonymous Dee in NJ said...

Hubby and I were at the same movie during "rapture time". Quite frankly, Johnny Depp beats this religious nonsense hands down.

 
At May 24, 2011 at 4:59 PM, Blogger jurassicpork said...

What did you think of that new Pirates movie, Dee? Barb and I weren't too, well, enraptured by it.

 
At May 25, 2011 at 11:09 AM, Anonymous Talk to the machine said...

I prepared for teh Raptor by making a recording on my telephone answering machine saying "Leave a message, but not if it involves anything happening after 6 p.m. Saturday, because that's when I'm getting called up to Heaven."

Then on Sunday, I recorded a different one saying "Oh well, I'm still here after the Rapture and so are you. Leave a message, and tell me why YOU'RE so sinful that you didn't get admitted to Heaven."

 
At May 25, 2011 at 12:40 PM, Anonymous Dee in NJ said...

I can honestly say I've seen worse. It had some good moments, but I would have liked to see Ian McShane rip up the scenery a little bit more.

 

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