Republican Voters Pull a Romney in SC

The people of South Carolina have spoken. The folks that brought you the Civil War, Nikki Haley and Joe "You Lie" Wilson had suspended their Family Values long enough to vote for a old lech who got his cock sucked by a paramour in a car in full view of children, cheated on his wife before that with a staffer while calling for impeaching Clinton for doing the same thing and gave an award to a porno distributor.

Bravo. The sales of clothespins in South Carolina must've skyrocketed the week before the primary.

It was just a few days ago when Turdblossom Karl Rove, Charles Pierce at Esquire and yours truly were all on the same page insofar as one thing: Romney would pull off a clean 3-0 sweep with the first caucus and two primaries, that he'd get the GOP nomination even if he dug up Elizabeth's Edward's corpse and fucked her on the floor of the New York Stock exchange from trading bell to trading bell. The stars (or rather the unholy menage a trois of the MSM, the Bilderberg Group and Citizen's United) were all aligned and Mitt was going to be the Republican Party's Great Caucasian Hope.

But then a funny thing happened on the way to the Republican analogue of Obama's Darth Vader tour bus: Rick Santorum was judged to be the winner of the Iowa caucus, after all, which is kinda like overturning the Ed Armbrister/Carlton Fisk interference call and retroactively giving the Boston Red Sox the 1975 World Series championship. And then, after Mitt was left in the dust as if he was married to Newt and had contracted cancer, 3-0 became 1-2. And the voters of South Carolina last night bucked the Powers that had already anointed Mitt as The One as if he was some sort of polymer-based Neo action figure to do battle with some imaginary Matrix solely of Obama's making and , shit, as they inelegantly say, happened.

Ergo, after a caucus, two primaries, 947 Republican debates with #948 coming tomorrow in Florida and four turtle doves, the GOP is back to square one with no clear frontrunner and no real identity other than the troublingly abstract mantra of, "Let's get the nigger out of the White House." Essentially, South Carolina voters didn't give a shit who the Supreme Court or Fox News or Karl Rove or the Bilderberg Group wanted and pulled a Mitt Romney.

The flip-flopping Republican voters in the Midwest, northeast and the south are essentially responding to one thing and it's just a matter of who can blow the dog whistle the loudest and at the right pitch. Santorum retroactively took Iowa after telling an all-white audience that he had no intention of "making black peoples' lives easier." In NH Romney railed about entitlements under Obama and Gingrich in South Carolina called Obama "the food stamp president", as if Obama unilaterally created SNAP all by himself.

One needn't be a political pundit or sociology professor to know what these men are saying under the frequency beyond which non-racists can hear: Elect me and I'll get the darkies off welfare and stop them from siphoning your tax dollars with their welfare checks. They're merely less blatant versions of Reagan's intolerably racist meme of the welfare queen driving Cadillacs to the welfare office to pick up their checks.

Obviously, it resonated in Iowa despite the fact that in the Hawkeye State, nine out of ten people on welfare are white and the percentage only goes down slightly on a national level. The Southern Strategy created four decades ago by Nixon and his piano wire-gripping psychopaths is still very much in full effect as is the lie of, "Liberals want to take away all your money and give it to them lazy niggers."

In the case of President Obama, however, the knuckle draggers who came out last night to vote in the SC primary are largely exempt as the president has consistently called for raising taxes on those making more than $200,000 a year and that Mr. Obama recently signed into a law a payroll tax cut that added another $40+ a week into the pockets of blue collar workers.

And long before all the poll results were in, South Carolina voters made their message clear: We'd rather replace the guy who just put another $40 in our pockets every week with a guy who wants to take our kids out of the classroom and into the janitor's closet 'cuz he thinks like us when it comes to them there welfare queens.

Romney's cult simply alienates those in a highly evangelized state like SC. The only true Bible-thumper left in the group, Rick Santorum, like Romney, has a slim public record and just one term in elected office. And Ron Paul, well, is Ron Paul, a small, embittered very old man who, while being perhaps the most viciously racist one of the lot (as opposed to the racism of convenience perfected by Romney, Santorum and Gingrich), just leaves them churchgoers colder than smallmouth bass on ice at the fish market.

So the series stands even 1-1-1 and the GOP primary process is rebooted. All the more reason to hope that Ron Paul takes the Florida primary in a couple of weeks to tie it at 1-1-1-1.