The World's Worst Standup Comedy Routine

At about nine seconds in, you can simultaneously hear the inaudible sound of crashing plates, glasses and silverware, plus sour notes on a piano, wheels screeching like wounded puppies and a needle harshly dragged over an LP as Rick "Frothy Mixture of Anal Lube and Shit" Santorum's campaign finally came to a screeching halt. This is his "Macaca" moment, this is Fonzie jumping the shark and Mork and Mindy having a baby that looked like Jonathan Winters all rolled into one.

I wish I could say this is an April's Fool's prank, that a Republican presidential contender didn't really sink as low as one could possibly sink by calling the President of the United States a nigger but it's captured forever on glorious videotape. It's quite a trick, making Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and especially racist Ron Paul look dignified and respectful of race by conspicuous relief but somehow Ricky Retardo managed it.

And, no little Ricky, you didn't try to say "blah." We're not all as stupid as you.