The Retroactive Life of Willard Mittie

We could dismiss Willard Romney, the world's most accepted, if not loved, sociopath, as the Retroactive Republican. But that would be to sell Mitt Romney short. Mitt has worn different hats in his fabulously rich life:

Pro-war activist who dodged the Vietnam draft so he could live in luxury in a palace in Paris.

Erstwhile pro-life vulture capitalist whose company nonetheless invested in another company that disposed of aborted fetuses.

Telling Detroit it could go bankrupt before taking credit for the auto bailout.

Telling Ohio he'd save jobs from going to China that the auto industry already secured and expanded for American auto workers while Bain Capital sends 170 US auto maker jobs to China for real.

Singing "America the Beautiful" to packed rallies.

Saying he "believes in America" while keeping the bulk of his quarter billion dollar fortune in seven offshore tax havens while lambasting companies for using offshore tax havens and using the Mormon Church while cheating them to dodge more taxes.

He's the new Danny Kaye, starring in "The Life of Willard Mittie."