Top 10 Demands Made by the IOC

     Early this month, Oslo, Norway essentially dropped out of the bidding to host the 2022 Winter Olympics by refusing to fund it. Part of the possible reasons for the Norwegians' disinterest were the IOC's list of demands, which were partly:

• Cars and drivers for IOC members, with special dedicated highway lanes
• Street lights synchronized to prioritize IOC traffic
• Separate airport entrance for IOC members
• Samsung phones for all IOC members
• All furniture must have "Olympic appearance."
• "IOC members will be received with a smile on arrival at hotel" 

     However, these were not all the demands listed by the International Olympic Committee. What were the other 10?

10) Retractable dome to be built over entire country so IOC officials don't get snow on them.
9) Harvesting Sonja Henie's DNA and cloning her so she can light the torch.
8) Serenaded by Tony Bennett during bowel movements.
7) Olympic corporate sponsors must be given first licensing rights to all athletes' future first-born children.
6) No bid corporate security contract to be given to Anders Breivik.
5) 65 kroner, or about $10 US, is to be paid by each of Norway's 5 million citizens every time a sponsor's product or their surnames are mentioned.
4) Oral sex performed nightly by Sweden's and Brazil's female athletes on beds with six-inch layer of Grand Prix rose petals.
3) Individual theme music to be played by Trans Siberian Orchestra during every IOC members' public appearance.
2) Norway must terraform country to exactly reproduce Nike swoosh.
1) Virginal flower girls scattering rose petals before them to be thrown into Icelandic volcano during Closing Ceremony.