Friday, June 26, 2015

Meanwhile, on Fox "News..."

(By American Zen's Mike Flannigan, on loan from Ari Goldstein)
"If you are among the many Americans—of whatever sexual orientation—who favor expanding same-sex marriage, by all means celebrate today's decision... But do not celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it."  - Chief Justice John Roberts, forgetting the 14th Amendment, 6/26/15

      Peeps, we've hit the liberal Trifecta. The grandaddy of all liberal lotteries. And it'll be a while before we enjoy another week this great. But for now, we should celebrate, dance in the streets, sing every show tune we know, gloat in the face of your least favorite ultraconservative neighbor or relative. I've even ordered a rainbow flag to fly outside our house. Suck the schadenfreude right down to the marrow until the bone whistles and drink this delicious dram to the lees. We have finally been delivered to the Promised Land and above it, smartly flapping, is a rainbow freak flag.
     The much-reviled Confederate flag's being taken down and pulled off real and online shelves.
     Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the Affordable Care Act. Again.
     And, just hours ago, that same High Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges against state gay marriage bans, meaning gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states. It took us a while to catch up to our Canadian neighbors but better to be fashionably late than never arriving at all.
     Typically, the court split along party lines that shouldn't ever exist on any impartial judicial panel, especially with our activist conservative justices and Chief Justice. Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Sotomayor, Kagan and the surprising swing vote coming from the usually conservative-leaning Justice Anthony Kennedy finally put the kibosh on the remaining marriage bans.
     In the minority dissent, Clarence Thomas wordlessly farted. Scalia gargled on his own bile and began screaming about apple sauce. It's not even worth recording for posterity what Chief Justice Roberts said. But what The Other Usual Suspect Sam Alito said has to be read to be believed.
     "Why not marry four men at once instead of just two?"
     In channeling Rick Santorum, he came thisclose to going all Man on Dog.
     Remind me who the activist judges are, now?

And Sometimes, Good Things Come in Threes
     While it may have taken a national tragedy in the Charleston church shooting, it led to a rapid chain of events that saw the confederate flag withstanding renewed hostility fueled by the engine of social media. This led to SC Governor Nikki "I shamelessly use tokens" Haley and Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Closet) to stand on the steps of the SC state capitol to ask the legislature to remove the confederate flag that still flew at full mast days after the shooting. This in turn led to protests demanding the stars and bars be taken down for good in other southern states.
     And then, in the unkindest cuts of all, major corporations such as Walmart, Sears, eBay, Amazon and Apple have stopped selling the treasonous flag as well as many products featuring them. Of course, these decisions made in our nation's biggest board rooms have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with making the right and moral decisions, even in the interests of political correctness, as it is in preemptively forestalling boycotts to protect their bottom lines. But whatever it takes, it takes.
     Then yesterday, the High Court supported, again, the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act by saying federal subsidies are legal in states while in the background Clarence Thomas farted in dissent some more and Scalia argle-bargled about apple sauce.
     And then, today came on an invisible rainbow, a transsexual Venus with a penis lowered on a psychodelic clam shell courtesy of Warhol paying homage to Botticelli.
Of All the Gay Bars in All the World...
       Today should be made into an unofficial holiday and we should call it ME Day. Marriage Equality Day. And someone should curate the hashtag #MEDAY. Because I don't think today's decision has sunk in all the way among my people (And, no, Andrew Sullivan making a clotted comeback doesn't count).
     To quote Vice President Joe Biden (more on him later), This is so fucking cool, not to mention historic. The schadenfreude factor needs to be acknowledged, sure. What gives the liberal soul more savage glee than imagining gay weddings taking place on the steps of the Texas state capital in Austin or in Kansas under Sam Brownback's clenched nose?
     But on a more fundamental level, it's a boon for LGBT Civil Rights and equal marriage rights for all Americans and 46 years almost to the day after the Stonewall riots in Greenwich Village put gay rights on the map along with civil rights and women's liberation.
     I'm proudest to be a resident of Massachusetts because the slow climb to gay marriage nationalization began, as with the Revolutionary War, right here in the Bay State. With the Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health State Supreme Court ruling in 2003, marriage equality finally became a reality in a nation in which we were told that every man was created equal and invested with certain inalienable rights.
     By 2010, only five states had gay marriage.
     Five years later? 50.
     Yesterday: Ireland. Today: The United States of America. Tomorrow: The rest of the planet earth.
     And, thanks to Jill Biden's tweet this morning, we were treated to the image of VP Joe Biden running through the halls of the White House with a rainbow flag tied around his neck like a cape, no doubt with that look that Hunter S. Thompson once described as "a rabid weasel on speed."
     And I will end this post celebrating a momentous day for gay rights by reminding my readers, many of whom thanking President Obama for today's ruling, that Joe Biden needs to be thanked first. (It is true, this ruling underscores the need for liberals to vote. No Obama, no Sotomayor, No Kagan. No ACA. No gay marriage from coast to coast. I give credit where it's due.)
     But liberals also have selective memories and only a mnemonic savant such as me would remember that in 2008 and for a few years thereafter, Obama was quietly but staunchly against gay marriage. It was only after Joe Biden publicly came out in favor of marriage equality did the Obamas finally hop on the good bandwagon and begin publicly supporting gay rights. Essentially, it was perhaps the only time in US history when the President moved to support his Vice President.
     So thank you, Mr. Vice President. I also give credit due where it's due first.
     And I have to leave with this rhetorical question:
     Civil Rights.
     Minimum Wage.
     Social Security.
     Medicare and Medicaid.
     Gay Marriage.
     When will right wing nut jobs finally tire of being on the wrong side of history every single, blessed time?
     And why is our government still filled to the brim with these losers?

Labels: , , , ,


At June 27, 2015 at 11:38 PM, Blogger MJ said...

Show tunes?
"You've got to be taught
Before it's too late.
Before you are six
or seven or eight..."

Or how about
"Poor Jud is dead, poor Jud Fry is dead..."
I don't think I have a real good grip on what show tunes are about.

Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain...'

At June 29, 2015 at 2:58 PM, Anonymous CC said...

The Stars and Bars is actually what Georgia's current flag resembles and was one of the Confederacy's official flags.

I believe you meant to refer to the Confederate Battle Flag with its X-pattern as the centerpiece.


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