What a Long, Strange Fucked Up Trip It's Been

     So, what few of you who still audit my blog may be wondering is, "Where the fuck has JP been these past few days?"
     Well, the answer's pretty simple yet... not.
     In between doing the usual chores and errands at Casa de Pottersville, my time's been rather unevenly divided riding the endless #podestaemails hashtags like a rancid boil and doing whatever I can to keep Queen Hillary from being coronated. I'm also trying at the same time to finish the first of four short stories for a special Christmas book featuring four of my main protagonists: Scott Carson (Tatterdemalion, The Kid), Mike Flannigan (American Zen), Vesey Van Zant (Gods of Our Fathers) and my new character, Joe Roman (The Saipan Seven).
     I've also been in constant communication with a new source of information on a certain megalomaniacal, right wing stalker who makes the very occasional cameo appearance (Yes, I'm still holding to my promise that I will wipe that noxious miscreant off the face of the earth or at least the internet).
     And so Election Day is tomorrow. We've finally staggered within sight of the finish line after having viewed countless of hours of attack ads, suffered through sheer poundage of campaign junk mail, seen hundreds of yard signs telling us to vote for one crook or another. And now JP decides to take time off? This is a political blog, for fuck's sake! What good are you if you can't even be roused to write about politics on the eve of Election Day?!
     Good points, all. All I can say in my defense is that there are only so many hours in the day.
     I'm not gonna sit here and pretend as if my bloviating about anything is going to change a single vote. It hadn't four years ago or four years before that. Why should 2016 be any different?
     I've said all I have to say about these fucking crooks the mainstream media and the political parties have decided we're supposed to vote for and never mind that icky Brand X. Both Hillary and Trump are absolutely unthinkable to vote for and I don't need Julian Assange to tell me what a thoroughly rotten scumbag Clinton is in his strangely single-minded obsession with her.
     I call both Clinton and Trump The Clump. That's what it comes down to. In years past, we were given the choice between Coke and Pepsi, Colgate or Crest, Excedrin or Bayer. Now it's a choice between arsenic or cyanide, Capone or Schultz, Hanta or Ebola. Do we wish to be thrown staightaway into the pot of boiling water or sit there in it as the temperature slowly rises like the proverbial frog?
     Either way, we will once again prove ourselves to be the very stupidest fucking nation on the planet earth. We will own this counterfeit coin whichever side it falls on. But instead of owning up to our collective fuckup, we will point our fingers at the Other Side and blame The Others.
     Well, speaking as that guy who always seems to live on the edge of the coin, I say you're both stupid cunts, those of you who have the fucking gall to call yourselves liberals while voting for the one plagued by scandals and you screaming Klansmen who vote for the one who ought to be plagued with scandals. Whichever crook sleazes their way into the Oval Office, you own it, we all do. Every fucking one of us, And this won't be the latest presidential election but the last. Either one could easily start WW III. Either one of them could start the Civil War II.
     Either way, we will all own the results because, once again, we couldn't heave our Twinkie-distended asses off our Laz-E-Boys and do the right thing. Trump will be the price we pay for the fun Podesta emails from Wikileaks and Hillary will be the price we pay for... well, just pick a mental oversight.
     The bottom line is, less than 40% of us will come out to vote, meaning the ones who stay home could've turned this election over on its ear and elect Jill Stein or Bernie as a write in candidate (if your state is one of the 34 that allows write ins). But we won't.
     Because we're Americans. And we can never, ever be trusted to do the right thing anymore. Obama, Bush Jr, Clinton, Bush Sr and Reagan are proof of that.